“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.” I’ve been remiss in updating you guys on Vanderpump Rules so I am going to just dump it all out here and hope it makes sense. The drama of the upcoming season […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Three: No Lala But Everything Else
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long season of Vanderpump Rules but tonight we finally say goodbye. Goodbye, Tequila Katie. Goodbye, White Kanye. Goodbye, mean girls. Goodbye, Scheana Shay. Luckily for us, only one of those goodbyes is permanent. After a little break I’m going to really miss these “kids.” But for now […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Two: Too Much Lala, Not Enough Crazy Kristen
By The Lady Cocotte Anyone in the mood for some arguing? Good, because it’s time for part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Last week’s part one quickly paid homage to Kristen dipping into Brittany’s lady pond, Katie’s wedding planning and James Kennedy’s cheating but, at heart, it was all about Lala. We revisited […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part One: Don’t Expect Me To Take Responsibility For My Actions
By The Lady Cocotte Schwartz and Katie’s Wedding By Bravo is over. Scheana’s Marriage By Bravo is no more. Hell, even Lala’s Sur employment is dunzo. All that’s left is the three part reunion. Are you ready for the laughter, the tears, the DJ James Kennedy? Wait, don’t answer that question. Just sit down […]
Vanderpump Rules: Taco Tuesday, Wedding Wednesday
By The Lady Cocotte Every episode of Vanderpump Rules brings us one step closer to the wedding that shouldn’t be. The whole gang has gathered at the wedding venue. Yay! Lisa Vanderpump has arrived (by private jet) to ordain the wedding. Whee! Jax and Sandoval are balls deep into a plan to surprise Schwartz by […]
Vanderpump Rules: Triple Trouble
By The Lady Cocotte We must be nearing the end of the season because the Vanderpump Rules wedding that shouldn’t happen is about to happen. Yipee? After completing their yearly Sur photoshoot (this year’s theme was Mall Glamour Shots), the “kids” are headed to Katie and Tom’s wedding venue. That’s right. They’re taking their […]
Vanderpump Rules: Regrets Only
By The Lady Cocotte After three episodes in New Orleans, Vanderpump Rules is finally coming home. Did the LA bars notice a sharp drop in alcohol sales? Were local spray tan salons shuttered due to lack of customers? Did the air in Southern California feel just a little less vapid? Well, all of that is […]
Vanderpump Rules: Drag Battle
By The Lady Cocotte The Vanderpump Rules “kids” are in New Orleans and they’re trying to finish what Katrina started. Too soon? My bad, but you know it’s true. So far there have been tears (mostly Sandoval), drunken spats (Katie and Schwartz, obviously) and the main event: confronting Schwartz about cheating with Vegas girl. Yeah, […]
Vanderpump Rules: Man Tears and Braziers
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight Vanderpump Rules brings us Part Two of Stassi’s Katie and Tom’s Katie’s bridal shower blowout in New Orleans. WeHo in NOLA, y’all! So far, Katie’s been smacked in the face with Mardi Gras beads (awesome), Scheana gave Shay a book of photographs of herself for their wedding anniversary (what a […]
Vanderpump Rules: Beads, Beers and Tears
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight the Vanderpump Rules “kids” laissez les bons temps rouler in the Big Easy. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Bridezilla is having her bachelorette party in New Orleans. And she’s dragged her brow-beaten, “abused wife” of a fiancé (and his groomsmen) along for the ride. Ugh. I forsee a lot of Katie […]
Vanderpump Rules: Into The Closet
By The Lady Cocotte I don’t know how tonight’s Vanderpump Rules can compete with last week. James Kennedy’s triumphant rap performance was overshadowed by an amazing ambush from his side pieces (coordinated by the ever delicate flower, Scheana Shay). His very public meltdown, which devolved into a bar brawl with Jax Taylor, was entirely expected. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Ambush
By The Lady Cocotte Things are starting to get spicy on Vanderpump Rules! Sandoval called Jax out on his alleged Gay for Pay past and Brittany and her mom are having a homophobic meltdown. James cheated on his girlfriend with several of LVP’s employees. Lala leaving the show has left the mean girls in need […]
Vanderpump Rules: Jax’s Roast
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is finally coming through. Last week we got Jax’s D and this week we get his roast. Oh yeah! This is what I signed up for. Sprinkle in some ridiculous friendship drama, a James Kennedy freak out and Ariana putting the beat down on Stassi, and I’m a happy […]
Vanderpump Rules: The D Pic
By The Lady Cocotte We survived last week’s Summer House promo Vanderpump Rules birthday extravaganza so I’m looking forward to getting back to our regular LA famewhoring. I’m sick of Montauk, I’m sick of Nascar. I’m sick of overgrown frat boys, I’m sick of that stinky RV. I’ve never missed Sur so much. It’s gotten […]
Vanderpump Rules: Summer House Rules
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight we get a two hour premiere of Summer House masquerading as an episode of Vanderpump Rules. Seriously, Bravo? Not only are you foisting this annoying show upon us but you’re besmirching the most important event of the year (ie: Stassi’s birthday) with your manipulations. Sigh. Who am I kidding? I’d […]
Vanderpump Rules: The Talk of Montauk
By The Lady Cocotte You may think the biggest event this week is the new year but that’s because you forgot that tonight Vanderpump Rules brings us Stassi’s birthday. Stassi’s birthday! It’s only the most important day/week/month of the year. Who can forget her Vegas birthday? Jax ripping off his chunky sweater to fight Frank […]
Vanderpump Rules: No Show
By The Lady Cocotte We survived Christmas. We survived losing George Michael. But can we survive another episode of Vanderpump Rules? You know I love this show. These vapid drama queens make my crusty heart sing. And yet, last week jumped the shark. Watching the mean girls tear into Scheana over her tepid apology to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Sociopath Test
By The Lady Cocotte Another (Mon)day, another Vanderpump Rules. Last week we revisited the Orlando massacre and it brought up a lot of feelings. Luckily, our amazing commenters brought the wisdom and healing we sorely needed. I’m really grateful for our little community here. And now the VPR kids can get back to what they […]
Vanderpump Rules: Pride
By The Lady Cocotte Mondays suck but at least we get new Vanderpump Rules. I can usually count on these crazy “kids” for a few chuckles. But this week is going to be rough. It’s Gay Pride week (which is normally all about joy) but we’re going to cover the Orlando massacre. And from the […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: You Probably Think This Show Is About You, Don’t You?
Xanadude Contributing Writer Welcome back to another recap of VanderPump Rules! We open this week with Schwartz visiting LVP at the Pink Palace. Pinky has not had a chance to clean the poop from the bridge and warns Schwartz as he crosses it – she HAS had a chance to add some pink highlights to […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: What Happened in Vegas
BY: Xanadude The title of this episode is “What Happened in Vegas” and, you know what? Nothing happened, which is pretty much what what needed to happen, since the guys all have pissed off partners at home. No one got pregnant, no one got married, not one chunky sweater was tossed to the ground. […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Boys Will Be Boys
By Xanadude Like a between course sorbet, this episode really was nothing more than a palate cleanser after the spit flecked main course of last week. The unpleasantness of James and Jax fighting is quickly dismissed after a hiss from Pinky, who turns her attentions back to the more civilized guests at the table. The […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap
BY XANADUDE (Sorry I forgot the byline in haste to get it up tonight!) Before beginning with the nonsense that is tonight’s VanderPump Rules, takes a minute and check out Covenant House, the charity featured on tonight’s show. No snark about this. I work with underprivileged and homeless kids and teens as well, so […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Cock of the Walk
I totally for about Xanadude taking these recaps over until about an hour before the show. I tried to find out if he was good to go but haven’t heard back. I having some weird kind of health issue today, but I shall forge ahead and if Xanadude turns in his paper, I’ll be […]
Vanderpump Rules Aftershow Recap: Xanaduuu…..de
By Xanadude A couple of brief notes on the AfterShow, which you should be watching: It’s a comedy show and recapping it would be like describing porn to someone who just masturbated, so just some points – Brandy Howard and Julie Goldman are the hosts. They are amazingly funny. They aren’t taking the show […]
Better Than A Recap: Xanadude’s Thoughts on Tonight’s Vanderpump Rules
By Xanadude As much as y’all love this guy would it kill you to follow him on Twitter? Going in, kids, in the immortal words of Nick Lowe: “Cruel to be kind, means that I love you.” I wouldn’t be watchin’ and snarkin’ if I didn’t love this show. Let’s address the big topic straight […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: New Blood
Meet Lala Has she slept with Jax yet? She says she is every guy’s type. And I am sure she is. Except perhaps grown men who have to introduce their date to the boss, colleagues or parents as “Lala.” But other than those guys, she is probably their type. I can see James the dishwasher […]
Vanderpump Rules Season Premiere: Playtime’s Over
It’s time for a new season of Vanderpump Rules and I could not be happier. I didn’t dig it much at first but you guys made me recap and now it’s one of my favorite shows. I’ll take anything above recapping another housewives show with menopausal women screaming and damning people to hell and yanking […]
It’s Time for a Kristen Doute & Vanderpump Rules Update!
As you know, here at Tamara Tattles, we watch Vanderpump Rules specifically to see what entertaining crazy Kristen Doute will bring to the show. It seems she is going all out during filming this season damn near killing herself. Almost two weeks ago she broke her orbital bones (eye socket) in some sort of […]