By The Lady Cocotte So, it looks like I’m your new, official Vanderpump Rules recapper. I just can’t quit these crazy “kids.” After a couple of boring episodes, we finally got some fireworks last week. James got fired! Like “indefinitely fired forever.” He blames it on Jax (for making him have a public, drunken tantrum) […]
Vanderpump Rules: Thirsty Girls
Vanderpump Rules: Thirsty Girls By The Lady Cocotte Ready or not, it’s time for another episode of Vanderpump Rules. I’m not your usual recapper (TT, we miss you!) but I’m kind of excited to play tonight. Vanderpump Rules is one of my favorite shows. These hot messes really speak to me. But this season has […]
Vanderpump Rules: Call It Like I See It
One of the best things about this show is that while I do get some tea, I don’t know every little staged thing like on RHOA so I can watch it like a random. And let’s face it, randoms have all the fun when it comes to reality TV. We are ruined by all […]
Vanderpump Rules: Going Down
Jax is well-known for sabotaging his relationships, but spreading rumors about his girlfriend is a new low for him. Jax is a lying liar who lies straight from his lie whole all the damn time. Why do people even hang out with him? Is there no other source of coke in LA? Lisa is […]
Vanderpump Rules Premiere: A Whole Lot of Fuss Over A Little Cunnilingus
Now that you’ve made it though the first part of RHOOC Reunion, if you would like still more bitching and insults between women, on Tonight’s premiere, it seems Kentucky, Lala, and Stassi all take their fair share of hits. Oh and James will probably be pushed around by Jax. So yay for more abusive […]
Things I Learned on Vanderpump Rules “Secrets Revealed”
Peter has a dad bod. Sandoval thinks it is cute and funny to rub his naked ass all over Sandoval when he is passed out. LVP has 8 dogs, 8 swans, 7 turtles and two mini-horses. The Toms both think that they are “building modeling careers.” Kristen and James sought out a Crystal Therapist to […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 3 Recap: Damn They All Go HAM on Me, Man!
I was shocked to see this show in my DVR tonight. I honestly thought we already did this. I even checked my last post about this reunion and it was indeed part two. So, Here we go again. I’m really more excited about the premiere of Southern Charm, so I apologize in advance for […]
James Kennedy’s Mother Allegedly Stole Kristen Doute’s Credit Card & Tons More #PumpRules Tea
Kristen Doute was on Heather McDonald’s podcast, Juicy Scoop, recently and a few people kept saying I should check it out. My thoughts are, look, I can’t even keep up with all of the TV shows I’m trying to watch and I’m a professional TV watcher. But today, I hear that on the show, Kristen […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 2 Recap: “I’ve Been In Jail Five Times But Not For Anything Criminal!”
Vanderpump Rules put up some great numbers this season and the numbers just kept on growing. For that reason, we have a three part reunion. Even though it could all be covered in a half an hour. On look, it’s Andy. Ugh. Andy wants to talk about James showing up half nekkid to SUR […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion: Down & Dirty
I totally forgot about the Vanderpump Rules reunion. I am watching it now in real time as it didn’t tape. Kristen is half naked. There is a lot discussion about James and his drinking problem. Kristen discusses how she “found” the Uber receipt for James cheating with Jenna but going through the emails in his […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Push Comes to Shove (It Up Your Nose!)
By Contributing Writer Xanadude In honor of tonight’s Vanderpump Rules finale, I’m drinking LVP Sangria. Yes, the embargo has been lifted here in Large Texas City – a new store is now carrying the Sangria (Thanks, World Market!) after being banished from the Major Chain (Goody Goody Liquor, which is a damn damn fine […]
A Whole Nuther Hour of Vanderpump Rules Nonsense
Andy is just obsessed with this show for some reason. The ratings have been okay this season as they try to pump up their numbers to RHOOC levels, but this is some serious overkill. Last night, after the actual episode, Bravo tagged on another hour the first half f which is #WWHL and the second […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Kray Kray Kristen IS BACK Y’ALL!
By Contributing Writer Xanadude! Next week is the Vanderpump Rules Season Finale, so this episode sort of tees up a lot of stuff for next week’s payoff. Katie “asks” LVP if they can have their engagement party at Villa Blanca, Pinky’s house and Sanctuary for Deformed Animals, for the uninitiated. LVP agrees with the proviso […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Too Little, Too Late
By Contributing Writer Xanadude On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules, we learn Stassi has Lyme Disease and Scheana has Munchausen’s. Not really,but,judging on page counts and comments, that’s all you people want to talk about. Lyme Lyme Lyme. Munchausen Munchausen Munchausen. Divorce. Con Artist. Fakey fakey fake fake. There. Satisfied? Then let’s get to adulting with the […]
Vanderpump Rules After Show With Kristen and Stassi!
Last night the great minds at Bravo stuffed three shows onto my DVR packaged as two hours of Vanderpump Rules. The first hour was indeed the latest episode of #PumpRules awesomely recapped by Xanadude here. I should first apologize for kind of screwing up his recap. I was oddly awake last night and went […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: “Beach, Please”
By Contributing Writer Xanadude “Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage’s whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.” I don’t normally agree with Ayn Rand, but since Lala brought her up as her new favorite author (Lala. […]
Vanderpump Rules News on Reunion and Jax
Let’s start with the latest news on Jax (and Kentucky). Jax had an appearance in Hawaii this past week for his felony charges as a result of his drunken decision to steal a pair of sunglasses while there filming the show. Somehow, Jax and Kentucky turned that into a week long Valentine’s vacation in a hotel with ocean front […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Bitch Ghost
By Contributing Writer, Xanadude Much as in real life lately, tonight’s Vanderpump Rules was full of weird edits – or is that just me and medication I’m on? Scenes would start at one point in time and then jump back to an event the previous evening. Night would become day in the space of a […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Like So Many Beans She Has Flicked Before
By Contributing Writer, Xanadude This old man (and, like, LVP, for now I plan on starting all conversations with “This old man…” just to shade Stassi for a while. Although it is, technically, Jax, who is the same age as Ken,who should be calling himself “this old man,” but I digress…) Puckers and Pouts his […]