By The Lady Cocotte Tonight we’re treated to a very special episode of Vanderpump Rules. Trouble in Lala-land has the titular SUR hostess on the defense. Last night, Lala Kent announced she’s an alcoholic. Her accountability to her process bodes well for her future. Her need to get ahead of tonight’s narrative promises drama at […]
Vanderpump Rules: Tom vs. Tom
By The Lady Cocotte As anyone who saw last week’s Vanderpump Rules preview knows, Tom vs. Tom reignites the James Kennedy/Katie Maloney Schwartz blood feud. It’s the storyline we hoped was over, all tarted up for the SUR alley. Will Fat-gate be the undoing of the only successful relationship on the show? Or will the […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reptilian Brain
By The Lady Cocotte There’s a disturbance in the Vanderpump Rules universe. Don’t blame Jax Taylor’s alleged STDs. Or Lisa Vanderpump’s numerous legal dramas. Our favorite former-SURvers are experiencing relationship problems. Everyone’s talking about Lala Kent’s breakup. While James Kennedy enjoys the schadenfreude, Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor bid farewell to the PJ. When Lala […]
Vanderpump Rules: PJs on the PJ
By The Lady Cocotte The cast of Vanderpump Rules is well versed in hangovers and regret. When partying pays your bills, you’ve gone pro. So, before PJs on the PJ can get to the meat of it’s story, we’re forced to sift through the wreckage of the Girls’ Trip to Solvang. Katie Maloney Schwartz wears […]
Vanderpump Rules: Return of Crazy Kristen
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is usually so good at easing us into an episode. Have Lisa Vanderpump and the Toms (Sandoval and Schwartz) give us an update on TomTom. Have the Witches of WeHo remind us who they’re mad at and why. Maybe throw Scheana Shay a bone and give her five seconds […]
Vanderpump Rules: So Vain in Solvang
By The Lady Cocotte This week on Vanderpump Rules, a hungover Lisa Vanderpump stumbles into SUR. The night before, the TomTom/Daily Mail party was a smashing success. Everyone loved the stuffy decor. The old lady flower arrangements. The insultingly ugly TomTom logo. The namesake Toms (Sandoval and Schwartz) are ready to celebrate. But LVP channels her […]
Vanderpump Rules: Tom and Tommer
By The Lady Cocotte Do you ever watch a Bravo show and wonder where the story is? Does presenting a series of events, edited in the order they occurred, qualify as a show? I only ask because tonight’s Vanderpump Rules felt like a forty minute paean to LVP’s jeans. Here’s the thing: I take Vanderpump […]
Vanderpump Rules: A Housewarming Divided
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is my jam. Manufactured pathos, a WeHo hipster fantasy. The deeper the delusion, the sweeter the Schadenfreude. But something isn’t sitting right with me. Last week got ugly. In ways it didn’t need to. Billie is unlikeable. Katie is cruel. Childhood triggers can mess you up. Inclusion is important. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Girls’ Night In
By The Lady Cocotte You know I’m under the weather when my Vanderpump Rules recap is late. I have an unhealthy obsession with the SUR crowd that requires constant input. Maybe there’s a part of me that wishes I could live in my twenties, forever. Maybe life would be easier if I had zero self-awareness […]
Vanderpump Rules: Love Thy Mother
By The Lady Cocotte Sometimes Vanderpump Rules is nothing more than a series of vignettes, a way to reposition the cast for future storytelling. Thanks to Stassi Schroeder’s mother, tonight’s chess board shuffle comes with a side of Lymopause. Dayna’s IMDB page proudly lists 11 episodes of Vanderpump Rules. She has a thriving Etsy store […]
Vanderpump Rules: Ice Queens
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long two weeks without Vanderpump Rules. Holiday family time? Peaceful tidings for a new year? Yes, I enjoyed them. But that didn’t stop me from wondering why Lisa Vanderpump hiked her Vander-cookies all the way to James Kennedy’s apartment. She’s a millennial Victor/Victoria. An enabler playing a woke […]
Vanderpump Rules: Lisa’s Dilemma
By The Lady Cocotte Like an 80’s revival that never ends, Vanderpump Rules brings us right back to Katie’s ultimatum. Not the one she gave her husband. That was resolved in season 5. This time around she’s demanding action with real-life consequences: fire James Kennedy or knowingly flout labor laws on national TV. It’s HR […]
Vanderpump Rules: Either Him or Me
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules brings us right back to SUR Pride. Watch entitled twits attack an untalented Brit, against a backdrop of neon and side ponies. Like, oh my God, the 80’s were so awesome! Raquel is at a crossroads. James’ cheating baggage is finally too big to ignore. It’s time to fully […]
Vanderpump Rules: Hope and Pride
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules has two major storylines this season. Jax and Brittany’s engagement brings out the fun in the group. They plan a stealth party like it’s a caper. Wings from Hooters? Check. Alcohol? Check. Instagram friendly balloons? Check check. Even Lisa Vanderpump, a woman too distraught to work, attends. This is […]
Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Premiere: A Decent Proposal
By The Lady Cocotte There’s been a lot of wind-up to tonight’s Vanderpump Rules Season 7 premiere. First, the VPR kids got obsessed with 90 Day Fiancé. It was all fun and games when Beau posted videos of them watching together, or Stassi interviewed Darcey on her podcast. But, as he is wont to do, […]
Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Trailer and Premiere Date
By The Lady Cocotte Hallelujah and huzzah! Bravo has finally released the Vanderpump Rules Season 7 trailer and premiere date. Check out the high jinks, brought to you by Taco Bell and Adderall. Monday, December 3 is only a month away… UPDATED!
Vanderpump Rules: Secrets Revealed
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules Season 6 sends us into that good night with Secrets Revealed, an entire episode of footage too boring to include in the actual show. There’s a new scene of Lisa Vanderpump ogling Lala Kent’s breasts. Another of her counting Lala’s coins. Lala assures us she’s well taken care of. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reunion, Part 3
By The Lady Cocotte The final episode of the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 Reunion starts with the Bromance of the Century. In honor of Jax and James’ 1 year anniversary (who didn’t love Season 5 reunion James?) the cast lists their similarities. They’re compulsive. Needy. They both love attention. It’s all laughter and lolz until […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reunion Part 2
By The Lady Cocotte The second night of the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 reunion opens to Jax bellowing, “You can’t even keep a boyfriend!” It’s the greatest insult the serial cheater can think of. Backstage, Scheana barely notices. She’s in her happy place. The hair and makeup people try to ignore her whining (and dabbing […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reunion Part 1
By The Lady Cocotte It’s hard to believe Vanderpump Rules Season 6 is over. Before our favorite Angelenos sneak off like thieves in the night, let’s see what the reunions bring to light. Andy starts out with updates on Sur’s most troubling relationships. Jax and Brittany are back together (bad). Stassi is no longer seeing Patrick (good) […]
Vanderpump Rules: Welcome to TomTom
By The Lady Cocotte The Vanderpump Rules Season 6 finale begins with a far better recap than I could ever do: Tom Sandoval goes into business with Lisa Vanderpump, dragging Tom Schwartz behind him in a little cart. Stassi’s boyfriend is a loser. Rob, Rob, Rob. Brittany gets Jaxed. So does Faith. Scheana goes old […]
Vanderpump Rules: Lost Cause
By The Lady Cocotte I wish I could enjoy the latest Vanderpump Rules breakup. Brittany needs to get away from Jax and never look back. She should listen to her verse in 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. “Get yourself some dignity, Brittany.” But it’s all for naught. They’re still together. So let’s pretend to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reiki Breaky Heart
By The Lady Cocotte As if by magic, tonight’s Vanderpump Rules transports us back into the throes of Jax’s mid-life crisis. He thrashes around Sur like a wounded manatee, heaving and panting as he shoots the bird at all and sundry. His smokey eye, updo, Gstaad moment teeters close to breaking the fourth wall. Accusing […]
Vanderpump Rules: Karma’s a Bitch
By The Lady Cocotte Let me set the stage for tonight’s Vanderpump Rules. Jax, the last person anyone should believe about anything, convinces the group that Kristen and James cheated on their partners (based entirely on the positions of a few pillows and empty bottles). He changes James’ denial into an admission by replacing “hung […]
Vanderpump Rules: The Smoking Gun
By The Lady Cocotte Calling all Vanderpeople. Tonight concludes the Vanderpump Rules season 6 Mexico adventure. Expect tears. Expect shouting. Expect Kristen on James action? It’s a rewind episode. Production tells us upfront the moral majority have decided Kristen and James made up plus some. Could it be true? Did she cheat on Carter? Did […]
Vanderpump Rules: Sur Going South
By The Lady Cocotte Occasionally, I watch the Vanderpump Rules opening credits. There’s something soothing about watching survers fling drinks in slow motion. This week the whole crew is in Mexico (you know, where Schwartz once flung a drink on Katie). Last week, Stassi and Lala led an all woman army against Jax. They scorched […]
Vanderpump Rules: Nothing Here for Me
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is heading back to Mexico and you know what that means. Drinking. Tiny bathing suits with weird coverups. And drama. Lots of drama. Although it could never be as iconic as a Stassi birthday trip, I’m excited to see what a week of tequila and bad decisions look like. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Watch Your Back
By The Lady Cocotte I thought this season of Vanderpump Rules was going to be all about The Hair. It’s not. It’s all about vaginas. I have one of those. I don’t make a big production of it. At least tonight we’re treated to a new -gate: Is Jeremy creepy? Or is Stassi a lying […]
Vanderpump Rules: Vegas! Baby?
By The Lady Cocotte I owe Tamara Tattles a huge “Thank You” for taking over the Vanderpump Rules recaps while I was on vacation. It was nice to get a little break from the radiator. But I’m home now and I’m here to claim what’s mine. Vegas trip? Mine. Showing up late (and drunk) to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Wishful Sinking
We start this week with the morning after a major drinking binge where Lala and James got into it. Wait, isn’t this how most episodes start? It’s just this one has most of them in a cabin at Big Bear Lake. Lala is drinking by 9:15. Which is technically allowed if she is having it […]
Vanderpump Rules: It’s All Happening
There sure are a lot of fires at SUR. If I recall correctly, Villa Rica used to have the same issues. Weird. Oh and hi! It’s me Tamara filling in for Lady C who is frolicking on a beach somewhere without me. I already had to pause to find out if this “Dan” a manager […]
Vanderpump Rules: Screams and Queens
By The Lady Cocotte I can’t believe we’re almost halfway through Vanderpump Rules, season 6. So far, it’s been a gas. Tonight is all about the dueling birthdays. It’s Queen Bee Stassi vs Queen Bey Ariana. Who will come out on top? It depends on the judging criteria. If it’s based on how many times […]
Vanderpump Rules: Call me Jason
By The Lady Cocotte Stassi and James are combining forces to throw a party celebrating Lisa as the new Editor of Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. Whew! That’s three fake jobs in one sentence. As soon as Lisa is out of earsight, Stassi relentlessly badgers James about his boyfriend. It’s obnoxiously scripted but necessary to set […]
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