It’s the final night of the final charter and most everyone is ready for it to be over, except for Brianna it seems. She probably knows that the charter ends her fling with Nico. Kate and Kyle talk about their issues briefly before she sends him off to don a clown suit for the evenings […]
Below Deck: The One Where Jen Loses Her Mind
I am all hyped up after hearing that Fredrik and Derek’s twins are finally here and from that super exciting final performance on The Voice! So I am now wide awake to recap the final charter. We pick up with Bruno making the unfortunate choice to manhandle Jen who is drunk off her ass and […]
Below Deck: You Don’t Mess With The Primary
Matt is upset that Captain Lee told him he needed to stick up his game. Kyle is planning to take out Jen with the goal of getting laid. Jen is too stupid to turn on the juicer. Once again, the guests love Matt’s brunch. I’m with Matt and don’t get what Captain Lee is talking […]
Below Deck: Only Doing It For The Money
I’m hoping for some funny from this show tonight. We’ve had a local shooting that shut down neighboring schools today. There were shootings out west that had me nervous for one of my favorite people on the planet. Our government is incomplete disarray. It’s just hard to find anything fun going on in the world. […]
Below Deck: King Come On I Wanna Lay Ya
I hear that tonight’s Below Deck is jam packed so I better go ahead and get right into it! We start back with dirty feet gate. I am amazed at how quickly I’ve move from Team Nico to Team EJ. Apparently, dickish behavior is genetic. Did Jen shrink Captain Lee’s t-shirts? IJS EJ goes to […]
Below Deck: Hot Mess Express
UPDATED! Kate is getting a LOT of crap on social media about this episode and her nonchalant attitude about Jen’s encounter with the half naked woman who hugged her and told her she could not leave the room. I sort of just thought it was all scripted. I also thought that Kate’s response was fine, […]
Below Deck: Undercover Boss
We start with Kate telling Jen she needs to get her act together and do her overnight tasks. Jen seems confused about how things work. They are halfway through charter and she still has no idea how to do her job without someone holding her hand every step of the way. She goes to bed […]
Below Deck: Blindsided
We pick back up this week with Nico and a very drunk EJ having a pissing contest on the deck. Briana rounds up Baker to let her know things could come to blows. Nico tells EJ to go to bed. Nico says if he is not bosun in the morning, he going to walk. Brianna […]
Below Deck: 100 Feet From Catastrophe
I am excited about this episode because I feel like someone is getting a ticket home. There are so many options. I really can’t deal with EJ. He looks like he is made of plastic and I don’t see any signs that he is any more skilled, or maybe as skilled as Nico. Chris Brown […]
Below Deck: Cool Beans
We start with the love triangle or Brianna, Matt and Nico. Nico feels guilty about his feelings and video chats with his girlfriend. Matt asks Brianna to go on a beach picnic since she agreed to a date the night before. Bri reluctantly agrees but lets us know she really doesn’t think Matt is her […]
Below Deck: Kate Goes To Church
I just noticed that there were many more comments on episode one than the last two. Comments don’t provide a good indication of the number of views but now I am going to go look at the page views to see if y’all are getting bored with this season. I am liking it so far. […]
Below Deck: Jesus Saves
Below Deck: It Ain’t Easy Being Green
Tonight’s episode begins with an announcement that the show filmed in St. Martin which was pretty much wiped off the map by Irma. We have at least one commenter who last we heard was still there. We’re all sending her our thoughts and prayers. When we return to the island lunch we have both of […]
WWHL With Kate Chastain and Nico Scholly
Andy starts off the show plugging Porsha Williams and Bethenny Frankel who are both very committed to helping the folks in the Houston area who were displaced by Hurricane Harvey. Bethenny has raised over $200,000 in donations through her B Strong foundation and Porsha is going down to volunteer on Saturday. Nico says he has […]
Below Deck: The One Percenters
I am so excited for another season of Below Deck. Right away, Captain Lee lets us know that this green crew is the biggest collection of fucking idiots he has ever seen. We are back on Valor in St. Martin. Kate is of course the first one on the boat so that the lovefest between […]
Below Deck Returns September 5th
On season five of Below Deck, there is no Ben Robinson, no Emily Warburton-Adams, no Kelley Johnson, no Lauren Burchell, no Sierra Storm, and no Trevor Walker. The only familiar faces this season will be Captain Lee’s sexy face, Kate Chastain’s resting bitch face, and Nico Scholly’s baby face. Joining Chief Stew Kate on the interior […]
Below Deck: 50 Shades Of Ben
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a rocky charter season on Below Deck and the Valor crew is more than ready to say goodbye to their cramped quarters. Chief stew Kate spent a distracted season trying to keep her demanding relationship alive over often non-existent internet lines. Last week she finally brought her resting bitch […]
Below Deck: Waking The Resting Bitch Face
By The Lady Cocotte After a season of Distracted Kate, Lesbian Kate, Matchmaker Kate, tonight’s Below Deck finally brings us the Kate we love to hate: Resting Bitch Face is back. I, for one, couldn’t be happier. It’s the final charter. Kate thinks her crew has senioritis but she’s not willing to lower her expectations. Their guests, a group […]
Below Deck: Bemily
This a been a very odd season of Below Deck. How the hell do you go from being restricted to quarters one week, to being promoted the next? Enough with this stupid “senior deckhand” crap. Kelley is the only exterior person who did not participate in the spring break party in the master quarters […]
Below Deck: Bosun Blues
Okay, I think we only have two Charters left. How does Kelley end up pissing off Captain Lee this week when he is the only exterior crew that wasn’t part of the drunk debacle last week. How is this possible? Is it tricky editing? I did want to mention some sad news. Nico’s brother […]
Below Deck: Bombed By A Care Bear
It feels weird going back to recapping TV shows, today. I think we are all still in shock over the events of the last 24 hours. Shout out to all the people who went back to work tired and perhaps hungover and got things done. Let’s check on the Below Deck crew and […]
Below Deck: The Sea Was Angry
Okay, Let’s do this. I know that you guys are saying that Ben and Emily are still together in real life, but I just have such a hard time believing this. I think Ben will break her heart. I have no memory of whatever happened that Katie feels she needs and apology for. Hang on […]
Below Deck: One Less Fish In The Sea
I’m particularly retarded tonight. As in I am slow, lagging behind mentally, and just a mess, so this recap will likely be retarded as well, as in delayed. If you are offended by this please stop by the commenting rules on your way out. Thanks. It’s time to play pass the Emily again. I do […]
Below Deck: Decent Proposal
Okay y’all. I’ve got my big girl panties back on and I’m ready to blog Below Deck. Thanks for all the nice shit y’all said. I’m not very good at receiving that, but I tried to take it all in. I’m quite comfortable being blunt and honest. So I should say that I’m not […]
Below Deck: Feeling No Pain
We’re back and it’s the first day for the new guy and he appears to have dislocated his shoulder climb up on the critter free pool. Lauren crawls out to him and pops it right back in and it’s like it never happened. Apparently this happens to him a lot. Which is weird. On […]
Below Deck: The Freak Comes Out At Night
Okay Below Deck, I saved you for a palate cleanser after doing my patriotic duty of watching the Vice Presidential Debates. Please don’t let me down. I need a nice fun easy show to recap, I am weary, mentally and physically today. Let’s just have some fun, shall we? Hopefully we can send cry baby […]
Below Deck: Sierra Needs A Trigger Warning
It was another dramatic evening around here last night. And for some reason, Below Deck did not tape at 10 and the 12:30 showing seems to have only picked up about 47 minutes of the show. This is kind of infuriating because I am hoping once again that the end will be Trevor receiving his […]
Below Deck: Just the Word Clambake Suggests Nothing Good Will Come of It
Don’t let that cute face fool ya. That’s not his happy fact that he gives Kate. That is Captain Lee watching Trevor shopping for trucks online while the rest of the outside crew are working. It’s the look a lion has before eating a wonky-eyed baby zebra for lunch. It’s not if, but when. And […]
Below Deck: Trevor’s Limp Dick…Motions
It’s time for another episode of Below Deck. Last week y’all comments about Trevor, Senor Deckhand, were so disgustingly descriptive, I stopped reading them very early on. Hopefully, I’ll be able to read and comment some this week, although the site is super busy! Let’s see if Trevor makes it through the episode, shall […]
Below Deck Season Premiere: No One Said It Would Be Easy
It’s time for the premiere of Season 4 where we can all watch for Kate drinking wine out of coffee cups and fondly remember everyone’s favorite stew, Rocky! #JeSuisRocky! First of all the boat is AMAZING. By far the best boat we have ever gotten looks like the show has earned a major budget increase. Which […]