By The Lady Cocotte The Vanderpump Rules Season 6 finale begins with a far better recap than I could ever do: Tom Sandoval goes into business with Lisa Vanderpump, dragging Tom Schwartz behind him in a little cart. Stassi’s boyfriend is a loser. Rob, Rob, Rob. Brittany gets Jaxed. So does Faith. Scheana goes old […]
Vanderpump Rules: Lost Cause
By The Lady Cocotte I wish I could enjoy the latest Vanderpump Rules breakup. Brittany needs to get away from Jax and never look back. She should listen to her verse in 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. “Get yourself some dignity, Brittany.” But it’s all for naught. They’re still together. So let’s pretend to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reiki Breaky Heart
By The Lady Cocotte As if by magic, tonight’s Vanderpump Rules transports us back into the throes of Jax’s mid-life crisis. He thrashes around Sur like a wounded manatee, heaving and panting as he shoots the bird at all and sundry. His smokey eye, updo, Gstaad moment teeters close to breaking the fourth wall. Accusing […]
Vanderpump Rules: Karma’s a Bitch
By The Lady Cocotte Let me set the stage for tonight’s Vanderpump Rules. Jax, the last person anyone should believe about anything, convinces the group that Kristen and James cheated on their partners (based entirely on the positions of a few pillows and empty bottles). He changes James’ denial into an admission by replacing “hung […]
Vanderpump Rules: The Smoking Gun
By The Lady Cocotte Calling all Vanderpeople. Tonight concludes the Vanderpump Rules season 6 Mexico adventure. Expect tears. Expect shouting. Expect Kristen on James action? It’s a rewind episode. Production tells us upfront the moral majority have decided Kristen and James made up plus some. Could it be true? Did she cheat on Carter? Did […]
Vanderpump Rules: Sur Going South
By The Lady Cocotte Occasionally, I watch the Vanderpump Rules opening credits. There’s something soothing about watching survers fling drinks in slow motion. This week the whole crew is in Mexico (you know, where Schwartz once flung a drink on Katie). Last week, Stassi and Lala led an all woman army against Jax. They scorched […]
Vanderpump Rules: Nothing Here for Me
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is heading back to Mexico and you know what that means. Drinking. Tiny bathing suits with weird coverups. And drama. Lots of drama. Although it could never be as iconic as a Stassi birthday trip, I’m excited to see what a week of tequila and bad decisions look like. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Watch Your Back
By The Lady Cocotte I thought this season of Vanderpump Rules was going to be all about The Hair. It’s not. It’s all about vaginas. I have one of those. I don’t make a big production of it. At least tonight we’re treated to a new -gate: Is Jeremy creepy? Or is Stassi a lying […]
Vanderpump Rules: Vegas! Baby?
By The Lady Cocotte I owe Tamara Tattles a huge “Thank You” for taking over the Vanderpump Rules recaps while I was on vacation. It was nice to get a little break from the radiator. But I’m home now and I’m here to claim what’s mine. Vegas trip? Mine. Showing up late (and drunk) to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Wishful Sinking
We start this week with the morning after a major drinking binge where Lala and James got into it. Wait, isn’t this how most episodes start? It’s just this one has most of them in a cabin at Big Bear Lake. Lala is drinking by 9:15. Which is technically allowed if she is having it […]
Vanderpump Rules: It’s All Happening
There sure are a lot of fires at SUR. If I recall correctly, Villa Rica used to have the same issues. Weird. Oh and hi! It’s me Tamara filling in for Lady C who is frolicking on a beach somewhere without me. I already had to pause to find out if this “Dan” a manager […]
Vanderpump Rules: Screams and Queens
By The Lady Cocotte I can’t believe we’re almost halfway through Vanderpump Rules, season 6. So far, it’s been a gas. Tonight is all about the dueling birthdays. It’s Queen Bee Stassi vs Queen Bey Ariana. Who will come out on top? It depends on the judging criteria. If it’s based on how many times […]
Vanderpump Rules: Call me Jason
By The Lady Cocotte Stassi and James are combining forces to throw a party celebrating Lisa as the new Editor of Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. Whew! That’s three fake jobs in one sentence. As soon as Lisa is out of earsight, Stassi relentlessly badgers James about his boyfriend. It’s obnoxiously scripted but necessary to set […]
Vanderpump Rules: Best Mates
By The Lady Cocotte The last we saw our darling Vanderpump Rules friends, Brittany’s mom surprised her daughter with a Kristen Doute-sponsored visit. Jax looked downright terrified to see her. In a split second, he saw all of his manipulations swirling down the drain. And in the real world, he would have reason to be […]
Vanderpump Rules: It’s Not About The Pasta
By The Lady Cocotte There isn’t much that can keep me away from my beloved Vanderpump Rules but this flu sure is trying. I’m going to do my best, because I owe it to the show, but it’s not going to be pretty. So bear with me and try to follow along. Anything that doesn’t […]
Vanderpump Rules: See You Next Tuesday
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long week already but Vanderpump Rules is sure to soothe my weary heart. So far, this season has been popping. They’ve given us an interesting twist on an old classic by having Jax Taylor confess his cheating from the get-go. Now we really get to see behind the […]
Vanderpump Rules: Sex, Lies and Audiotape
By The Lady Cocotte I actually look forward to Vanderpump Rules. It’s definitely the best thing about Mondays. While making dinner, as my anticipation grew, I joked to myself, “I wonder who is going to get caught cheating tonight?” And then I remembered: Rob! I guess it’s not a real relationship if he’s not cheating […]
Vanderpump Rules: Absinthe-minded
By The Lady Cocotte Bravo is starting the new year off on a good foot with a brand new episode of Vanderpump Rules. Bring on the buffoonery! Bring on the inflated egos! Bring on the deep fried goat cheese balls! We gotta keep this party rolling. Scheana, Katie and Stassi spend the night at Brittany’s […]
Vanderpump Rules: Back in the Saddle
By The Lady Cocotte Sorry it’s taken so long to get this Vanderpump Rules recap up. Life doesn’t always go the way we plan. But a late recap is way better than a late period… Just ask Jax. For some reason that is totally not his fault, knocked up side chicks keep breaking up his […]
Vanderpump Rules: Unfaithful
By The Lady Cocotte Full disclosure: I watched last week’s Vanderpump Rules premiere three times. It was that good. The Sur gang delivered everything we’ve come to expect. Stassi and Katie were mean girls. Scheana was delusional. Tom Sandoval overestimated his intelligence. Kristen inserted herself in someone else’s argument. And, most importantly, Jax Taylor cheated […]
Vanderpump Rules Season 6 Premiere: Masquerade
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is back and I couldn’t be happier! I have so many burning questions. Will Katie and Tom Schwartz be as miserable in marriage as they were as fiancés? Will Scheana be as delusional in her new relationship as she was in her marriage? Will Tom Sandoval and Ariana continue […]
Vanderpump Rules Filming News! Time To Trade In For A Younger Model Or Two
“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.” I’ve been remiss in updating you guys on Vanderpump Rules so I am going to just dump it all out here and hope it makes sense. The drama of the upcoming season […]
Scheana and Mike Shay’s Divorce is Final
TMZ has been wrong, wronger and wrongest about Phaedra Parks divorce over the past couple of years so I read their posts about divorce settlements with a very critical eye. That said, they are reporting that Scheana and Mike’s divorce has been finalized and the timing is about right. The rest of the story doesn’t […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Three: No Lala But Everything Else
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long season of Vanderpump Rules but tonight we finally say goodbye. Goodbye, Tequila Katie. Goodbye, White Kanye. Goodbye, mean girls. Goodbye, Scheana Shay. Luckily for us, only one of those goodbyes is permanent. After a little break I’m going to really miss these “kids.” But for now […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Two: Too Much Lala, Not Enough Crazy Kristen
By The Lady Cocotte Anyone in the mood for some arguing? Good, because it’s time for part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Last week’s part one quickly paid homage to Kristen dipping into Brittany’s lady pond, Katie’s wedding planning and James Kennedy’s cheating but, at heart, it was all about Lala. We revisited […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part One: Don’t Expect Me To Take Responsibility For My Actions
By The Lady Cocotte Schwartz and Katie’s Wedding By Bravo is over. Scheana’s Marriage By Bravo is no more. Hell, even Lala’s Sur employment is dunzo. All that’s left is the three part reunion. Are you ready for the laughter, the tears, the DJ James Kennedy? Wait, don’t answer that question. Just sit down […]
Vanderpump Rules: Introducing Mr.& Mrs. Schwartz
By The Lady Cocotte This whole season of Vanderpump Rules has been leading up to Katie and Schwartz’s wedding so it’s fitting that they say their vows on tonight’s finale. Sure, other things happened (Stassi was a bitch, Jax’s penis showed up in inappropriate places, James “rapped” and raged and Scheana played the victim) […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Will Be Three Parts: Check Out The Preview
According to the press release for the Vanderpump Rules reunion, it’s going to be a good one. So much so that it’s a three part series! On track to deliver its highest rated season ever “Vanderpump Rules” Season 5 is averaging 2.4 million total viewers and nearly 1.7 million P24-54, up 3% and 4% respectively […]
Vanderpump Rules: Taco Tuesday, Wedding Wednesday
By The Lady Cocotte Every episode of Vanderpump Rules brings us one step closer to the wedding that shouldn’t be. The whole gang has gathered at the wedding venue. Yay! Lisa Vanderpump has arrived (by private jet) to ordain the wedding. Whee! Jax and Sandoval are balls deep into a plan to surprise Schwartz by […]
Vanderpump Rules: Triple Trouble
By The Lady Cocotte We must be nearing the end of the season because the Vanderpump Rules wedding that shouldn’t happen is about to happen. Yipee? After completing their yearly Sur photoshoot (this year’s theme was Mall Glamour Shots), the “kids” are headed to Katie and Tom’s wedding venue. That’s right. They’re taking their […]
Vanderpump Rules: Regrets Only
By The Lady Cocotte After three episodes in New Orleans, Vanderpump Rules is finally coming home. Did the LA bars notice a sharp drop in alcohol sales? Were local spray tan salons shuttered due to lack of customers? Did the air in Southern California feel just a little less vapid? Well, all of that is […]
Vanderpump Rules: Drag Battle
By The Lady Cocotte The Vanderpump Rules “kids” are in New Orleans and they’re trying to finish what Katrina started. Too soon? My bad, but you know it’s true. So far there have been tears (mostly Sandoval), drunken spats (Katie and Schwartz, obviously) and the main event: confronting Schwartz about cheating with Vegas girl. Yeah, […]
Vanderpump Rules: Man Tears and Braziers
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight Vanderpump Rules brings us Part Two of Stassi’s Katie and Tom’s Katie’s bridal shower blowout in New Orleans. WeHo in NOLA, y’all! So far, Katie’s been smacked in the face with Mardi Gras beads (awesome), Scheana gave Shay a book of photographs of herself for their wedding anniversary (what a […]