Right before setups for the Pump Rules Recap, I tried to fix a graphics issue and now my entire laptop is completely FUBAR. I was out in the world today and didn’t get enough sleep last night so my brain is worse that usual. So set your expectations low tonight. I mean you know, lower […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Training Days
Who is up for another Vanderpump Rules recap? They didn’t give us much of a preview but it looks like this episode has some people breaking up and others making up. We will have more crazy, desperate Scheana, a kinder, gentler Lala, and Adriana sucking up to LVP. Let’s all get on the struggle bus […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: There Goes The Neighborhood
Well, it’s that time again, y’all! I’m back with another season of Vanderpump Rules recaps! And this season we will have both SUR and Tom Tom on the show. Over at Tom Tom there is a whole new crop of penises for Scheana to try to get her hands on. And since Lala doesn’t need […]
Vanderpump Rules Promo Is Intriguing
We have to wait until January for the next season of Vanderpump Rules but Bravo is doing a great job of whetting our appetite. We have a lot of new cast members, Brett Caprioni, Charli Burnett, Danica Dow, Dayna Kathan, and Max Boyens, are coming in to replace these old farts. That should go well. […]
Katie Maloney, Mama Joyce’s Streets Are Talking!
I started hearing rumors about Katie Maloney being pregnant a couple of months ago. I tried to care. I really did. But, Katie has been accused of being pregnant for years now. I did think it was likely this time because she and Swartz finally have a house. But didn’t really bother to investigate. Today […]
Lisa Vanderpump Arrives in Kentucky
Lisa Vanderpump has made it to Kentucky less than two weeks after her mother died to bear witness() Or officiate (?) the wedding of Jax and Brittany. Brittany’s pastor was exposed as a racist and a last minute change had to be made. That was prior to Lisa Vanderpump’s mother dying. It’s amazing how she […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap Part 3: The Beau Effect
I’m not sure if this is actually going to be a Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap or just a bunch of me typing, “I refuse to transcribe all of this bullying.” I feel like this reunion ends with them all pulling knives and filleting James on national television. In response to this reunion airing thus far, […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: So Much Hypocrisy
It’s time for part two of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion. I’m still not really over the disgusting behavior from part one. Click here if you missed Part 1 of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap. Then count your lucky stars that you saved yourself that hour of your life. I suppose I should get right on […]
Lala Kent Popping Bottles With Brittany, Stassi & Katie In Paris
So much for Lala Kent‘s Sobriety! Lala is in Paris with Brittany, Stassi in Katie on a girls trip and by all accounts they are living their best lives. Even if they are wearing white sneakers and berets. Mon Dieu! The ladies are on a shopping spree. Wonder who is paying the bills? The pink […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: Beauty Queens & Hillbillies
Oh Joy of all Joys! It’s a Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap! All the bickering is just too much to transcribe so hopefully there will be some dull moments for me to ignore. Like, whenever Lisa Vanderpump speaks. Kidding. Not kidding. The first big bombshell is that Kristen is single again. Andy kind of muffed that […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Rules Of Engagement
After what seemed to me like the most excruciatingly long season, it is finally time for the Vanderpump Rules Finale recap. Am so ready to be rid of this show for a bit. I cannot express how much I do not care about who Scheana Marie sleeps with. So let’s get on with it, shall we? […]
UPDATED! Fifty Cent Versus Lala Kent Just Keeps On Going
And I am here for it. Lala Kent, girl, you do not seem to understand what #MeToo is all about. And that’s really good news for you. But you diminishing that movement is wrong. And referring to 50 Cent as “she” is wrong if that was your intention. You need to sit your flat ass […]
50 Cent Comes Hard For Lala Kent And Randall Emmett On Instagram
50 Cent started a social media fight yesterday with Lala Kent. I was choosing just to observe of the sidelines. However, it seems a lot of y’all are interested in this based on the emails I received. So, I will try to make some sort of sense of this nonsense. Apparently, Randall Emmett produces some […]
Vanderpump Rules: Brittany And The Beast
By That Andy M. And Tamara Tattles Previously on Vanderpump Rules… Stassi Schroeder and Lala Kent worked on their demons, James Kennedy freaked out on folks and Tom Schwartz taught us all how to make a large deposit of small bills…for maximize visual impact. Anyone else wonder what else he could maximize for visual impact…. […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Exorcism of Stassi Schroeder
That Andy M. The seeds have been planted for an explosive episode Vanderpump Rules this week. So, let’s hope it lives up to the hype! But first they need to stop the fake work scenes that occupy Billie Lee’s screen time. The cast is open about the fact they no longer work at SUR in […]
Vanderpump Rules: End Of An Era
Before That Andy M. agreed to recap Vanderpump Rules on Tamara Tattles he explained he had a prior obligation for this episode. So I agree to be his substitute for the evening. I shall do my best to make him proud, even though I haven’t slept in the past 36 hours or so. TRIGGER WARNING: […]
Vanderpump Rules: Fomo In Mexico
That Andy M. Hey all, I want to thank TT for the opportunity to recap my guilty pleasure Vanderpump Rules and also The Lady Cocotte for keeping us in the loop and laughing for so many seasons. We hope you are enjoying a glass of wine with Katie’s whining tonight Lady C. As this is […]
Vanderpump Rules: First Class Envy
Lady Cocotte fans will be sad to know that she is not going to be recapping at Tamara Tattles anymore. She felt it was time to move on. She will be missed. So you are stuck with me recapping Vanderpump Rules and I haven’t really been playing close attention to this show, I’ll try to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Trouble in Lala-land
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight we’re treated to a very special episode of Vanderpump Rules. Trouble in Lala-land has the titular SUR hostess on the defense. Last night, Lala Kent announced she’s an alcoholic. Her accountability to her process bodes well for her future. Her need to get ahead of tonight’s narrative promises drama at […]
Vanderpump Rules Jax Says He Is Not A Liar Lala Says She Is An Alcoholic
The cast of Vanderpump Rules is doing the most tonight on social media prior to tonight’s episode. I’m not sure I believe any of them. First, Let’s start with Jax Taylor. He posted the above photo of him in the navy with these comments. I Cannot Tell A Lie!
Vanderpump Rules: Tom vs. Tom
By The Lady Cocotte As anyone who saw last week’s Vanderpump Rules preview knows, Tom vs. Tom reignites the James Kennedy/Katie Maloney Schwartz blood feud. It’s the storyline we hoped was over, all tarted up for the SUR alley. Will Fat-gate be the undoing of the only successful relationship on the show? Or will the […]
Vanderpump Rules: Reptilian Brain
By The Lady Cocotte There’s a disturbance in the Vanderpump Rules universe. Don’t blame Jax Taylor’s alleged STDs. Or Lisa Vanderpump’s numerous legal dramas. Our favorite former-SURvers are experiencing relationship problems. Everyone’s talking about Lala Kent’s breakup. While James Kennedy enjoys the schadenfreude, Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor bid farewell to the PJ. When Lala […]
Vanderpump Rules: PJs on the PJ
By The Lady Cocotte The cast of Vanderpump Rules is well versed in hangovers and regret. When partying pays your bills, you’ve gone pro. So, before PJs on the PJ can get to the meat of it’s story, we’re forced to sift through the wreckage of the Girls’ Trip to Solvang. Katie Maloney Schwartz wears […]
Vanderpump Rules: Return of Crazy Kristen
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is usually so good at easing us into an episode. Have Lisa Vanderpump and the Toms (Sandoval and Schwartz) give us an update on TomTom. Have the Witches of WeHo remind us who they’re mad at and why. Maybe throw Scheana Shay a bone and give her five seconds […]
Vanderpump Rules: So Vain in Solvang
By The Lady Cocotte This week on Vanderpump Rules, a hungover Lisa Vanderpump stumbles into SUR. The night before, the TomTom/Daily Mail party was a smashing success. Everyone loved the stuffy decor. The old lady flower arrangements. The insultingly ugly TomTom logo. The namesake Toms (Sandoval and Schwartz) are ready to celebrate. But LVP channels her […]
Vanderpump Rules: Tom and Tommer
By The Lady Cocotte Do you ever watch a Bravo show and wonder where the story is? Does presenting a series of events, edited in the order they occurred, qualify as a show? I only ask because tonight’s Vanderpump Rules felt like a forty minute paean to LVP’s jeans. Here’s the thing: I take Vanderpump […]
Vanderpump Rules: A Housewarming Divided
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is my jam. Manufactured pathos, a WeHo hipster fantasy. The deeper the delusion, the sweeter the Schadenfreude. But something isn’t sitting right with me. Last week got ugly. In ways it didn’t need to. Billie is unlikeable. Katie is cruel. Childhood triggers can mess you up. Inclusion is important. […]
Vanderpump Rules: Girls’ Night In
By The Lady Cocotte You know I’m under the weather when my Vanderpump Rules recap is late. I have an unhealthy obsession with the SUR crowd that requires constant input. Maybe there’s a part of me that wishes I could live in my twenties, forever. Maybe life would be easier if I had zero self-awareness […]
#WWHL With the VanderVillains: Stassi, Katie, Ariana, Lala, Kristen, Scheana, and Brittany
By The Lady Cocotte When Tamara told me Andy Cohen had all the mean girls of Vanderpump Rules on #WWHL, I knew I had to tune back in. For the past few years, my life has been mostly Watch What Happens Live-free. I’m not a fan of softball questions or misogyny so I just don’t […]
Vanderpump Rules: Love Thy Mother
By The Lady Cocotte Sometimes Vanderpump Rules is nothing more than a series of vignettes, a way to reposition the cast for future storytelling. Thanks to Stassi Schroeder’s mother, tonight’s chess board shuffle comes with a side of Lymopause. Dayna’s IMDB page proudly lists 11 episodes of Vanderpump Rules. She has a thriving Etsy store […]
Vanderpump Rules: Ice Queens
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long two weeks without Vanderpump Rules. Holiday family time? Peaceful tidings for a new year? Yes, I enjoyed them. But that didn’t stop me from wondering why Lisa Vanderpump hiked her Vander-cookies all the way to James Kennedy’s apartment. She’s a millennial Victor/Victoria. An enabler playing a woke […]
Vanderpump Rules: Lisa’s Dilemma
By The Lady Cocotte Like an 80’s revival that never ends, Vanderpump Rules brings us right back to Katie’s ultimatum. Not the one she gave her husband. That was resolved in season 5. This time around she’s demanding action with real-life consequences: fire James Kennedy or knowingly flout labor laws on national TV. It’s HR […]
Vanderpump Rules: Either Him or Me
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules brings us right back to SUR Pride. Watch entitled twits attack an untalented Brit, against a backdrop of neon and side ponies. Like, oh my God, the 80’s were so awesome! Raquel is at a crossroads. James’ cheating baggage is finally too big to ignore. It’s time to fully […]