By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a rocky charter season on Below Deck and the Valor crew is more than ready to say goodbye to their cramped quarters. Chief stew Kate spent a distracted season trying to keep her demanding relationship alive over often non-existent internet lines. Last week she finally brought her resting bitch […]
Below Deck: Waking The Resting Bitch Face
By The Lady Cocotte After a season of Distracted Kate, Lesbian Kate, Matchmaker Kate, tonight’s Below Deck finally brings us the Kate we love to hate: Resting Bitch Face is back. I, for one, couldn’t be happier. It’s the final charter. Kate thinks her crew has senioritis but she’s not willing to lower her expectations. Their guests, a group […]
Below Deck: Bemily
This a been a very odd season of Below Deck. How the hell do you go from being restricted to quarters one week, to being promoted the next? Enough with this stupid “senior deckhand” crap. Kelley is the only exterior person who did not participate in the spring break party in the master quarters […]
Below Deck: Bosun Blues
Okay, I think we only have two Charters left. How does Kelley end up pissing off Captain Lee this week when he is the only exterior crew that wasn’t part of the drunk debacle last week. How is this possible? Is it tricky editing? I did want to mention some sad news. Nico’s brother […]
Below Deck: Bombed By A Care Bear
It feels weird going back to recapping TV shows, today. I think we are all still in shock over the events of the last 24 hours. Shout out to all the people who went back to work tired and perhaps hungover and got things done. Let’s check on the Below Deck crew and […]
Below Deck: The Sea Was Angry
Okay, Let’s do this. I know that you guys are saying that Ben and Emily are still together in real life, but I just have such a hard time believing this. I think Ben will break her heart. I have no memory of whatever happened that Katie feels she needs and apology for. Hang on […]
Below Deck: One Less Fish In The Sea
I’m particularly retarded tonight. As in I am slow, lagging behind mentally, and just a mess, so this recap will likely be retarded as well, as in delayed. If you are offended by this please stop by the commenting rules on your way out. Thanks. It’s time to play pass the Emily again. I do […]
Below Deck: Decent Proposal
Okay y’all. I’ve got my big girl panties back on and I’m ready to blog Below Deck. Thanks for all the nice shit y’all said. I’m not very good at receiving that, but I tried to take it all in. I’m quite comfortable being blunt and honest. So I should say that I’m not […]
Below Deck: Feeling No Pain
We’re back and it’s the first day for the new guy and he appears to have dislocated his shoulder climb up on the critter free pool. Lauren crawls out to him and pops it right back in and it’s like it never happened. Apparently this happens to him a lot. Which is weird. On […]
Below Deck: The Freak Comes Out At Night
Okay Below Deck, I saved you for a palate cleanser after doing my patriotic duty of watching the Vice Presidential Debates. Please don’t let me down. I need a nice fun easy show to recap, I am weary, mentally and physically today. Let’s just have some fun, shall we? Hopefully we can send cry baby […]
Below Deck: Sierra Needs A Trigger Warning
It was another dramatic evening around here last night. And for some reason, Below Deck did not tape at 10 and the 12:30 showing seems to have only picked up about 47 minutes of the show. This is kind of infuriating because I am hoping once again that the end will be Trevor receiving his […]
Below Deck: Just the Word Clambake Suggests Nothing Good Will Come of It
Don’t let that cute face fool ya. That’s not his happy fact that he gives Kate. That is Captain Lee watching Trevor shopping for trucks online while the rest of the outside crew are working. It’s the look a lion has before eating a wonky-eyed baby zebra for lunch. It’s not if, but when. And […]
Below Deck: Trevor’s Limp Dick…Motions
It’s time for another episode of Below Deck. Last week y’all comments about Trevor, Senor Deckhand, were so disgustingly descriptive, I stopped reading them very early on. Hopefully, I’ll be able to read and comment some this week, although the site is super busy! Let’s see if Trevor makes it through the episode, shall […]
Below Deck Season Premiere: No One Said It Would Be Easy
It’s time for the premiere of Season 4 where we can all watch for Kate drinking wine out of coffee cups and fondly remember everyone’s favorite stew, Rocky! #JeSuisRocky! First of all the boat is AMAZING. By far the best boat we have ever gotten looks like the show has earned a major budget increase. Which […]
Below Deck Reunion on WWHL
I did some yard work late this afternoon, came inside and literally was knocked out cold before I knew it. I woke up when the TV changed the channel to tape WWHL so I am going to just touch on the highlights as I am still asleep. Warning: this blog was typed in my sleep. […]
Below Deck “Crew Tells All”
So it’s a crew tells all episode. Which is hilarious because hasn’t the crew already said too much? Kelly crying montage. Sigh. Kelly and Eddie Bromance montage. Ugh. A montage of the boat breaking, ceilings falling in. No wonder they changed the boat name after this show. Bathroom jokes. We are having a very odd […]
Below Deck Renewed for Third Season
NEW YORK – October 22, 2014 – Fueled by ratings success, Bravo Media has renewed “Below Deck” for a third season as last night’s finale earned the highest-rated episode of the season among all key demos. With over 1.4 million total viewers and 710,000 P18-49, the episode was up 26 percent and 23 percent, respectively, […]
Below Deck Finale: Bon Voyage, Bitches
Here’s hoping this is the last episode of the last season of Below Deck. It’s the last charter and all the crew are at each other’s throats. But never fear, I am sure they will all band together to hate the charter guests the moment they arrive. As I mentioned before, the casting department had […]
Below Deck Catch Up: How Long Until Someone Actually Spits on the Guests?
I’m over this show. I’m over the post I am supposed to be working on. I am over messages in my inbox about when I am going to recap, or write about the show. I’m over it. Below Deck has gone from one of my favorite shows to recap to one of my least favorites. […]
Below Deck: New Kid on the Dock
I’ve been working on a Below Deck post for a few days. I’m not sure it will ever get published. There are a lot of things to consider regarding that post. Let’s just say the bloom is off the rose for Below Deck. For that reason I am begrudgingly recapping this. I’m zipping past the […]
Below Deck Recap: The Return of Adrienne
So last night when I was pretending I didn’t have to actually blog and I could just be a commenter for the evening Below Deck was playing I the background. I wasn’t paying it that much attention, but every so often I’d watch a few minutes and my mind was blown. It seemed like opposite […]
Below Deck Recap: That’s What She Said
On tonight’s Below Deck, it looks like everyone except Ben and Kat is going to the bar The fact that Kat is not coming to the bar is very odd. Ben and Kat immediately drink and head into one of the staterooms. That’s a huge no no. Jennice is uncomfortable around Kelley now. Kelley and […]
Below Deck: Bitchy Resting Face & #PenisGate2014
We’re back on the Charter where Kate found her Charter Soul Mate in the primary charter only for him to devastate her by pointing out she never smiles and comes off as a bitch that doesn’t want to be there. Kate gets her revenge by folding his throw blanket into the shape of a penis. […]
Below Deck Recap: Charter Guest Soulmate Develops Some Kate Hate
We being with tip distribution. Once again they get a nice tip and everyone gets about a thousand dollars, including Andrew. The rest of the crew is pissed. I have no idea why. The captain has been very clear that tips are split evenly. And yet they all bitch. Moments later, Eddie and Andrew are […]
Below Deck Recap: Mo Mojitos, Mo Problems…
We start at the point where Kelly cracked his skull on the concrete after falling off the swing. Amy takes her brother to the ER. Everyone else goes back to the boat where Kat and Ben continue to flirt with disaster, by flirting with each other on national TV when both of them are involved […]
Below Deck Recap: Hex on The Beach!
We begin Below Deck with dumbass Andrew trying to vacuum up the water from the porthole incident, only the vacuum is set to blow and not suck. So essentially Andrew sucks at everything. Even sucking. Amy is telling a sob story to Kat while drying the same glass for half an hour. Kat couldn’t care […]
Below Deck Recap: Shut Your Porthole!
I love the opening of the show. Nice to see Bravo giving Captain Lee the “star” treatment! We begin 31 hours before sail with Captain Lee sitting on the dock waiting for the crew to show up. Everyone appears to be in high spirits. Ben, Captain Lee, Eddie and Ben are all ready to go. […]
Below Deck Season Two Cast Announced
Here is the rundown on who will be on Below Deck Season 2. We have a brother/sister deal this season! Also, on a preview, Adrienne makes an appearance! YAY! Lee Rosbach, Captain- Born and raised in Saginaw Michigan, Harold Lee Rosbach is the second of seven children. While Rosbach has been in the industry for […]