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You are here: Home / Archives for João Franco

Below Deck Med Recap: Love, Love Me Stew

September 23, 2019 by tamaratattles 71 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

Well, gentle readers, this is the last Below Deck Med recap of the season. And what a wild ride it has been. I have found Captain’s Sandy’s edit to be particularly interesting. She went from BEST CREW EVER! To YOU ALL SUCK in the last few episodes. To be fair, I am not sure if […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Sweet White Glove O’ Mine

September 16, 2019 by tamaratattles 21 Comments

Below Deck Med

This day has gotten away from me. I stayed up WAY too late last night. So this Below Deck Med recap may be even worse than usual. 🙂 I was up very, very, VERY late working on a new post for Friday or Saturday about a new show to recommend. Because, binge watching. Anyway, on […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: HOLY SHIP!

September 9, 2019 by tamaratattles 42 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

Y’all. What is wrong with me? I feel like I am on spring break or Rumspringa! I have this new, fuck it all sort of why don’t we get drunk and screw attitude gong on. For one thing it is hot as hell again this week. So I am drinking like a fish, not eating, […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Nauti Girls Need Love Too

September 2, 2019 by tamaratattles 42 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

With Ben’s return to the show, you also get me back on Below Deck Med recaps! So, um yay?! The show hasn’t even started yet and I am already worried about Colin. Hopefully, his wrist isn’t broken. But, that sure did look like a hard fall. We are back on-board with the obnoxious female guests […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: It’s Ben A Long Time

August 27, 2019 by tamaratattles 35 Comments

Oh hey, it’s me Tamara, filling in once again for this Below Deck Med Recap! The thing is that I watched the show very late last night and then deleted it. So this should be an interesting adventure for all of us. We all know I can’t remember anything. So we started with a crying […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Don’t Cry For Me, Sirocco

August 20, 2019 by tamaratattles 47 Comments

Below Deck Med Hannah Anastasia Jack

by Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med Recap. This week, dysfunction aboard the Sirocco becomes explosive, and by journey’s end someone has tendered their resignation and abandoned ship. First off, I must question why Bravo felt they needed 90 minutes special for tonight’s episode. The drama that unfolded here is would translate to […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: Monte Car-loco

August 13, 2019 by tamaratattles 32 Comments

Below Deck Med

by Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med Recap, in which beautiful people will drink and make out in the pleasure capital of the Mediterranean, and Joao will slut-shame them all. Sorry to have missed last week’s fun, my fine friends, and I’m not quite back to working order yet. Anyone out there dealing […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: June, June, Hannah.

August 6, 2019 by tamaratattles 42 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

Ahoy Mates! This Below Deck Med recap will be brought to you by me, TT as the Dalai Mama had an unexpected personal emergency to deal with at the last minute. Light your Saint Guadalupe, or Saint Valentina candles for her if you got them. Here is the thing, I watched this week’s episode a […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: A Whole Different Ball Game

July 30, 2019 by tamaratattles 43 Comments

Below Deck Med

by Dalai Mama On tonight’s Below Deck Med recap we pick up at the nightclub where June has just hurled into a garbage can. Hannah and Travis start canoodling a little. “There will be no feelings this season,” she declares resolutely in her talking head. The producer points out that she and Travis just made […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Lee Rosbach, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: What Eze the Problem?

July 23, 2019 by tamaratattles 42 Comments

Below Deck Med

by Dalai Mama The Below Deck Med Recap is relieved to announce that the Great Cutlery Conundrum of 2019 is over. The guests have their sky picnic with miracle forks and knives. As the world’s eyes turn to June, she bleats her innocence with more vocal fry than Lindsey Lohan on Oprah. Production helpfully Ramona-Singers […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: All Hail the Queen

July 16, 2019 by tamaratattles 29 Comments

Below Deck Med

by Dalai Mama Your Below Deck Med Recap awaits you. As we join our friends they are still out clubbing. Joao is marinating himself in tequila after biting Anastasia’s head off.  The gang hits the dance floor and many Elaine From Seinfeld spastic dance moves occur. Travis snogs Hannah, while Aesha bumps and grinds like […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, JUNE FOSTER, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: Knot Today, Anchors

July 9, 2019 by tamaratattles 27 Comments

Below Deck Med

by Dalai Mama Welcome to your Below Deck Med Recap of the week. We open with menacing music. Colin has broken the boat, or at least the anchor. Sandy says “we have a situation”. Jack exults in the fact that his invertebrate work ethic had him goofing off at the time. Therefore he cannot be […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med: 99 Problems But A Chef Ain’t One

July 2, 2019 by tamaratattles 38 Comments

Below Deck Med

By Dalai Mama On tonight’s Below Deck Med Recap, the saga of Mila the Cook Who Was Not a Chef continues. This is feeling as overmilked as the frosting on my strawberry Pop Tart. Cordon Blah We have to relive Captain Sandy’s breathless litany of praise for Mila. I’m as exhausted as Gilligan on the […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

June 25, 2019 by tamaratattles 37 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

By Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med recap, in which we collectively pray for the hasty performance of a Milabotomy on the good ship Sirocco.  I need to preface this recap with a little uncomfortable statement regarding my own personal Below Deck situation. I’m having my first colonoscopy tomorrow at oh dark-thirty. So […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Med, Below Deck Med Recap, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Cannes You Cook?

June 18, 2019 by tamaratattles 63 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

By Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med recap. As we tune in, the chronically affable guests have left, and the crew is heading out to blow off some steam. The lucky few in the non-Mila car are unaware of the source of tension spreading like rancid mayonnaise on a hate sandwich. Large amounts […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Recipe For Disaster

June 11, 2019 by tamaratattles 59 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

By Dalai Mama Welcome to the HMS Below Deck Med Recap. Come aboard. We’re expecting you. We begin with a little rehash of the Great Taco Skirmish of ’19. Hannah affirms that communication with Captain Sandy is going to be priority this season. Therefore, Hannah is appointing herself Chief Taster. Not so much as a single […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Med, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Below Deck Med Recap: Pardon Your French

June 4, 2019 by tamaratattles 76 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap

By Dalai Mama Welcome to my first Below Deck Med recap. I’m Dalai Mama, cruise director of recreational maritime hedonism. Come on board the HMS Sirocco. Let’s dive right in and meet our crew, shall we? We are graced once again with the leadership of my First Imaginary Future Wife, Captain Sandy Yawn. In addition, […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Aesha Scott, Anastasia Surmava, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Hannah Ferrier, Jack Stirrup, João Franco, Mila Kolomeitseva, Travis Michalzik

Ross Inia Has Been Arrested In West Palm Beach

December 22, 2018 by tamaratattles 38 Comments

UPDATE: I reached out to a local who gave me the following brief update.”Ross has talked with Captain Lee. His court date is 1/24/2019. He is in the process of retaining counsel and is looking forward to resolving this unfortunate incident and putting it all behind him. Captain Lee doing what he can to help […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Assaulting a police officer, Below Deck, Below Deck Mediterranean, Drunk and Disorderly, Entertainment News, felonies, João Franco, Misdemeanor, Resisting Arrest, Ross Inia

Below Deck Mediterranean: The Crew Comes For Hannah And I Come For Captain Sandy

September 11, 2018 by tamaratattles 89 Comments

Andy starts by asking if Hannah and Conrad are still together. Why is that even a question? Then he asks Joao and Brooke if they are still together and there is a bit of hesitation but Brooke says no. Andy says he’s heard there has been some back and  forth and wants to know how […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean Finale: Definitely Not Prague

September 4, 2018 by tamaratattles 57 Comments

It’s time for the finale. Which is great because I can’t take too much more of this season where I am forced to be Team Hannah. My hatred for Joao knows no bounds. Hannah’s bullshit change fees seem to have doubled from the last episode and are now a whopping $400.  Hannah sees herself as […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: One Million Percent

August 28, 2018 by tamaratattles 36 Comments

We are back in Naples with Hannah being condescending to Conrad calling him “sweetheart” while he is trying to break up with her. He also tells her he doesn’t want to go to Prague with her. She’s pissed and pissy about it and walks off. Also fighting are Brooke and Joao. Joao has been gleefully […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Stew Coup

August 21, 2018 by tamaratattles 74 Comments

Colin is actually getting a storyline tonight! I’m sure it will be brief but I’ll take what I can get. I really hate this group of guests. They are almost as bad as those terrible women. Brooke tells Hannah that she feels like she is doing all of the work. She cries cleaning up the […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: We Used To Be Friends

August 14, 2018 by tamaratattles 64 Comments

What a drama-filled day at Tamara Tattles Media, LLC today. It’s not just all the posts, it’s all the behind the scenes drama and tea. I’ve been typing and reading since the moment I got up. My eyes are blurry and need a rest, but there just isn’t time. Hannah uncharacteristically loans Brooke a leather […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Take This Job And Stew It

August 7, 2018 by tamaratattles 46 Comments

We pick up back on shore where most everyone is drunk and Hannah and Conrad are arguing over whether or not Hannah has an expectation that her man be rich and shower her with gifts (she does) or whether she wants to marry for love (I think both are important to her). Adam comes out […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Mo’ Euros, Mo’ Problems

July 31, 2018 by tamaratattles 105 Comments

This episode is going to piss me off. I can feel it already. After sending Hannah away, she calls Conrad to the bridge to ask him what happened with the land trip. I mean, it’s pretty simple really. The guests wanted to go ashore and he took them. But she doesn’t even let him speak […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Hannah, Hannah, Sandy?

July 24, 2018 by tamaratattles 92 Comments

Based on the title, I’m going to say that things come to a head between Hannah and Sandy. We pick up down one stew (Hannah) and one deckhand (Jamie).  And the primary has decided they want to have a beach picnic, twenty minutes before lunch. Things go surprisingly well on the quick set up. Kasey […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Panic At The Deck-O

July 17, 2018 by tamaratattles 40 Comments

I’m not much of a hate watcher. If I hate a show I watch something I do like. However, I am really enjoying this season of Below Deck even though Captain Sandy, Joao and Kasey are extremely dislikable this season. Every season needs a villain, but three? It’s irking me to no end. And now […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Bizarre Love Triangle

July 10, 2018 by tamaratattles 36 Comments

I am so glad that Below Deck is back tonight! I might have been a bit bored with a whole week without Bravo. That said, I didn’t miss Captain Sandy or Joao at all. I really tried to like Captain Sandy and hate how some of the crew calls her “Sandy” it seems very disrespectful […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Walking On Broken Glass

June 26, 2018 by tamaratattles 81 Comments

It’s crazy to me that the girls are pissed about Kasey fake CV but the guys all say, “everyone does that.” This theme seems to hold true in comments here and on social media. I’m just surprised. Also, Sandy was CHASTISING Colin for pointing out how SKEEVY Joao is. She is really enamored with him. […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck: Hasta Barista, Baby!

June 19, 2018 by tamaratattles 66 Comments

I cannot tell you how happy I am about the title of this episode. I’m so over Kasey the Klueless this season. I hope it gives us some more airtime for Colin!  Unfortunately, Captain Sandy’s fake storyline about Conrad being too distracted by Hannah to do his job ramps up tonight. That annoys me so […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Can I Get Fries With That?

June 12, 2018 by tamaratattles 57 Comments

We begin with the guests arriving to dinner two hours late. This is another group that wants chicken nuggets and fries. It’s like they have never eaten adult food. They are still serving at around twelve fifteen. They literally ask for french fries. Then they want huge sparklers for candles that set off the fire […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Demand & Supply

June 5, 2018 by tamaratattles 51 Comments

I hate how editing makes me like and dislike different people every season. How did I get to be Team Hannah this season? Sandy is being awful this season. She’s not looking out for Jaime who is being undermined as a deckhand strictly for being female. She doesn’t seem to care that Kasey is completely […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Mediterranean: Bad Vibrations

May 29, 2018 by tamaratattles 69 Comments

Let’s hope this week’s title refers to the relations between the crew and not another group of nasty women. We are back with the crew just back from their drunken land outing. Joao, as it turns out is even more of a misogynist drunk than he is sober. He was highly inappropriate with the ladies […]

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Adam Glick, Below Deck Mediterranean, Brooke Laughton, Captain Sandy Yawn, Colin Macy-O'Toole, Conrad Empson, Hannah Ferrier, Jamie Jason, João Franco, Kasey Cohen

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