“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.” I’ve been remiss in updating you guys on Vanderpump Rules so I am going to just dump it all out here and hope it makes sense. The drama of the upcoming season […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Three: No Lala But Everything Else
By The Lady Cocotte It’s been a long season of Vanderpump Rules but tonight we finally say goodbye. Goodbye, Tequila Katie. Goodbye, White Kanye. Goodbye, mean girls. Goodbye, Scheana Shay. Luckily for us, only one of those goodbyes is permanent. After a little break I’m going to really miss these “kids.” But for now […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Two: Too Much Lala, Not Enough Crazy Kristen
By The Lady Cocotte Anyone in the mood for some arguing? Good, because it’s time for part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Last week’s part one quickly paid homage to Kristen dipping into Brittany’s lady pond, Katie’s wedding planning and James Kennedy’s cheating but, at heart, it was all about Lala. We revisited […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part One: Don’t Expect Me To Take Responsibility For My Actions
By The Lady Cocotte Schwartz and Katie’s Wedding By Bravo is over. Scheana’s Marriage By Bravo is no more. Hell, even Lala’s Sur employment is dunzo. All that’s left is the three part reunion. Are you ready for the laughter, the tears, the DJ James Kennedy? Wait, don’t answer that question. Just sit down […]
Vanderpump Rules: Introducing Mr.& Mrs. Schwartz
By The Lady Cocotte This whole season of Vanderpump Rules has been leading up to Katie and Schwartz’s wedding so it’s fitting that they say their vows on tonight’s finale. Sure, other things happened (Stassi was a bitch, Jax’s penis showed up in inappropriate places, James “rapped” and raged and Scheana played the victim) […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Will Be Three Parts: Check Out The Preview
According to the press release for the Vanderpump Rules reunion, it’s going to be a good one. So much so that it’s a three part series! On track to deliver its highest rated season ever “Vanderpump Rules” Season 5 is averaging 2.4 million total viewers and nearly 1.7 million P24-54, up 3% and 4% respectively […]
Vanderpump Rules: Taco Tuesday, Wedding Wednesday
By The Lady Cocotte Every episode of Vanderpump Rules brings us one step closer to the wedding that shouldn’t be. The whole gang has gathered at the wedding venue. Yay! Lisa Vanderpump has arrived (by private jet) to ordain the wedding. Whee! Jax and Sandoval are balls deep into a plan to surprise Schwartz by […]
Vanderpump Rules: Triple Trouble
By The Lady Cocotte We must be nearing the end of the season because the Vanderpump Rules wedding that shouldn’t happen is about to happen. Yipee? After completing their yearly Sur photoshoot (this year’s theme was Mall Glamour Shots), the “kids” are headed to Katie and Tom’s wedding venue. That’s right. They’re taking their […]
Vanderpump Rules: Regrets Only
By The Lady Cocotte After three episodes in New Orleans, Vanderpump Rules is finally coming home. Did the LA bars notice a sharp drop in alcohol sales? Were local spray tan salons shuttered due to lack of customers? Did the air in Southern California feel just a little less vapid? Well, all of that is […]
Vanderpump Rules: Drag Battle
By The Lady Cocotte The Vanderpump Rules “kids” are in New Orleans and they’re trying to finish what Katrina started. Too soon? My bad, but you know it’s true. So far there have been tears (mostly Sandoval), drunken spats (Katie and Schwartz, obviously) and the main event: confronting Schwartz about cheating with Vegas girl. Yeah, […]
Vanderpump Rules: Man Tears and Braziers
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight Vanderpump Rules brings us Part Two of Stassi’s Katie and Tom’s Katie’s bridal shower blowout in New Orleans. WeHo in NOLA, y’all! So far, Katie’s been smacked in the face with Mardi Gras beads (awesome), Scheana gave Shay a book of photographs of herself for their wedding anniversary (what a […]
Vanderpump Rules: Beads, Beers and Tears
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight the Vanderpump Rules “kids” laissez les bons temps rouler in the Big Easy. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Bridezilla is having her bachelorette party in New Orleans. And she’s dragged her brow-beaten, “abused wife” of a fiancé (and his groomsmen) along for the ride. Ugh. I forsee a lot of Katie […]
Vanderpump Rules: Into The Closet
By The Lady Cocotte I don’t know how tonight’s Vanderpump Rules can compete with last week. James Kennedy’s triumphant rap performance was overshadowed by an amazing ambush from his side pieces (coordinated by the ever delicate flower, Scheana Shay). His very public meltdown, which devolved into a bar brawl with Jax Taylor, was entirely expected. […]
WWHL With James Kennedy
I have to just say that I cheat on y’all with other shows on Monday nights and am just now caught up on my viewing of them, so I have NOT seen Vanderpump Rules yet tonight. In the past my recaps have been decent when I was down with completely insane Kristen. But now that […]
Vanderpump Rules: Ambush
By The Lady Cocotte Things are starting to get spicy on Vanderpump Rules! Sandoval called Jax out on his alleged Gay for Pay past and Brittany and her mom are having a homophobic meltdown. James cheated on his girlfriend with several of LVP’s employees. Lala leaving the show has left the mean girls in need […]
Vanderpump Rules: Jax’s Roast
By The Lady Cocotte Vanderpump Rules is finally coming through. Last week we got Jax’s D and this week we get his roast. Oh yeah! This is what I signed up for. Sprinkle in some ridiculous friendship drama, a James Kennedy freak out and Ariana putting the beat down on Stassi, and I’m a happy […]
Vanderpump Rules: The D Pic
By The Lady Cocotte We survived last week’s Summer House promo Vanderpump Rules birthday extravaganza so I’m looking forward to getting back to our regular LA famewhoring. I’m sick of Montauk, I’m sick of Nascar. I’m sick of overgrown frat boys, I’m sick of that stinky RV. I’ve never missed Sur so much. It’s gotten […]
Vanderpump Rules: Summer House Rules
By The Lady Cocotte Tonight we get a two hour premiere of Summer House masquerading as an episode of Vanderpump Rules. Seriously, Bravo? Not only are you foisting this annoying show upon us but you’re besmirching the most important event of the year (ie: Stassi’s birthday) with your manipulations. Sigh. Who am I kidding? I’d […]
Vanderpump Rules: The Talk of Montauk
By The Lady Cocotte You may think the biggest event this week is the new year but that’s because you forgot that tonight Vanderpump Rules brings us Stassi’s birthday. Stassi’s birthday! It’s only the most important day/week/month of the year. Who can forget her Vegas birthday? Jax ripping off his chunky sweater to fight Frank […]
Vanderpump Rules: No Show
By The Lady Cocotte We survived Christmas. We survived losing George Michael. But can we survive another episode of Vanderpump Rules? You know I love this show. These vapid drama queens make my crusty heart sing. And yet, last week jumped the shark. Watching the mean girls tear into Scheana over her tepid apology to […]
Vanderpump Rules: Sociopath Test
By The Lady Cocotte Another (Mon)day, another Vanderpump Rules. Last week we revisited the Orlando massacre and it brought up a lot of feelings. Luckily, our amazing commenters brought the wisdom and healing we sorely needed. I’m really grateful for our little community here. And now the VPR kids can get back to what they […]
Vanderpump Rules: Pride
By The Lady Cocotte Mondays suck but at least we get new Vanderpump Rules. I can usually count on these crazy “kids” for a few chuckles. But this week is going to be rough. It’s Gay Pride week (which is normally all about joy) but we’re going to cover the Orlando massacre. And from the […]
Vanderpump Rules: Cold Feet
By The Lady Cocotte So, it looks like I’m your new, official Vanderpump Rules recapper. I just can’t quit these crazy “kids.” After a couple of boring episodes, we finally got some fireworks last week. James got fired! Like “indefinitely fired forever.” He blames it on Jax (for making him have a public, drunken tantrum) […]
Vanderpump Rules: Thirsty Girls
Vanderpump Rules: Thirsty Girls By The Lady Cocotte Ready or not, it’s time for another episode of Vanderpump Rules. I’m not your usual recapper (TT, we miss you!) but I’m kind of excited to play tonight. Vanderpump Rules is one of my favorite shows. These hot messes really speak to me. But this season has […]
Vanderpump Rules: Call It Like I See It
One of the best things about this show is that while I do get some tea, I don’t know every little staged thing like on RHOA so I can watch it like a random. And let’s face it, randoms have all the fun when it comes to reality TV. We are ruined by all […]
Vanderpump Rules: Going Down
Jax is well-known for sabotaging his relationships, but spreading rumors about his girlfriend is a new low for him. Jax is a lying liar who lies straight from his lie whole all the damn time. Why do people even hang out with him? Is there no other source of coke in LA? Lisa is […]
Vanderpump Rules Premiere: A Whole Lot of Fuss Over A Little Cunnilingus
Now that you’ve made it though the first part of RHOOC Reunion, if you would like still more bitching and insults between women, on Tonight’s premiere, it seems Kentucky, Lala, and Stassi all take their fair share of hits. Oh and James will probably be pushed around by Jax. So yay for more abusive […]
Things I Learned on Vanderpump Rules “Secrets Revealed”
Peter has a dad bod. Sandoval thinks it is cute and funny to rub his naked ass all over Sandoval when he is passed out. LVP has 8 dogs, 8 swans, 7 turtles and two mini-horses. The Toms both think that they are “building modeling careers.” Kristen and James sought out a Crystal Therapist to […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 3 Recap: Damn They All Go HAM on Me, Man!
I was shocked to see this show in my DVR tonight. I honestly thought we already did this. I even checked my last post about this reunion and it was indeed part two. So, Here we go again. I’m really more excited about the premiere of Southern Charm, so I apologize in advance for […]
James Kennedy’s Mother Allegedly Stole Kristen Doute’s Credit Card & Tons More #PumpRules Tea
Kristen Doute was on Heather McDonald’s podcast, Juicy Scoop, recently and a few people kept saying I should check it out. My thoughts are, look, I can’t even keep up with all of the TV shows I’m trying to watch and I’m a professional TV watcher. But today, I hear that on the show, Kristen […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 2 Recap: “I’ve Been In Jail Five Times But Not For Anything Criminal!”
Vanderpump Rules put up some great numbers this season and the numbers just kept on growing. For that reason, we have a three part reunion. Even though it could all be covered in a half an hour. On look, it’s Andy. Ugh. Andy wants to talk about James showing up half nekkid to SUR […]
Vanderpump Rules Reunion: Down & Dirty
I totally forgot about the Vanderpump Rules reunion. I am watching it now in real time as it didn’t tape. Kristen is half naked. There is a lot discussion about James and his drinking problem. Kristen discusses how she “found” the Uber receipt for James cheating with Jenna but going through the emails in his […]
Vanderpump Rules Recap: Push Comes to Shove (It Up Your Nose!)
By Contributing Writer Xanadude In honor of tonight’s Vanderpump Rules finale, I’m drinking LVP Sangria. Yes, the embargo has been lifted here in Large Texas City – a new store is now carrying the Sangria (Thanks, World Market!) after being banished from the Major Chain (Goody Goody Liquor, which is a damn damn fine […]