By: Urethra Franklin The end for AHS:Coven begins with Stevie Nicks walking through magically opened doors of Miss Robichaux’s Academy, and she is singing “Seven Wonders”. For me it’s a 1987 music video flashback saturated in warm golden sepia tones that gives an almost Holy glow to Stevie and the Academy. She sounds great, but […]
American Horror Story: Coven Finale Preview ~Seven Wonders
By: Urethra Franklin Warning: SPOILERS below but nothing is as it seems on AHS Here we are for the AHS: Coven series finale with the anticipated rise & reveal of the new Supreme. Since this is the finale, there are not a lot of spoilers for me to use for a concise pre-cap. I pieced […]
American Horror Story: Coven Recap–Pappa Can You Hear Me?
By: Urethra Franklin In a 17thcentury Salem flashback we finally get a visual demonstration of all the Seven Wonders: Telekinesis, Concilium (mind control), Transmutation (teleportation), Divination (second sight), Vitalum Vitalis (balancing of scales of life forces a.k.a raising the dead), Descensum (descent into netherworlds of afterlife), and Pyrokinesis. My spell check doesn’t believe in magic […]
IT’S WEDNESDAY WITCHES! American Horror Story Coven: Preview Episode 12, Go To Hell!
By: Urethra Franklin GO TO HELL is the title of this episode, and Queenie has manifested new powers that give her a 2 way ticket straight to Hell and back for a visit with Papa Legba. Are you curious to see the Coven’s visual interpretation of hell? AHS is not known for grand special effects, […]
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 11 “Protect The Coven”
By: Urethra Franklin It’s 1830 and Madame Delphine LaLaurie has moved to New Orleans from Paris. She is complaining about the “shit-hole” surroundings and the lack of intellectual stimulation from the feeble minded that surround her. While preparing dinner she became mesmerized and in awe with the warm spraying blood from a decapitated chicken. Later […]
American Horror Story: Coven Preview Episode 11 Protect The Coven
By: Urethra Franklin On Wednesdays we always wear black, but this week everyone put on your most fashionable black mourning outfit & hat because we have Nan’s funeral to attend. All the witches plus Kyle say their LAST goodbye to the Good Witch that will be spending eternity in the Dark Otherside. The promo teaser […]
American Horror Story Coven Recap: Did Stevie Nicks Delight You?
By: Urethra Franklin Marie Laveau is a 300 year old voodoo witch that has just lost everything, except for her fabulous 1970’s inspired wardrobe. She turns to Fiona, her sworn enemy, for refuge & protection from the witch hunters that used to be on her payroll. Fiona has a great bedside manner with some spiked […]
American Horror Story Coven Episode 10 Preview: The Magical Delights Of Stevie Nicks
By Urethra Franklin Welcome back scurrdy cats. Here I am re-chained to Tamara’s radiator, but this time I’m closer to the window and waving hello to you all. At least I have some heat since its cold down here and my iPod so that I can listen to some Fleetwood Mac in anticipation for episode […]
American Horror Story: Coven Recap The Witches’ Council Is Not Seeing Anyone At The Moment
By: Urethra Franklin Oh.My.Gawd.Laugh.Out.Loud.Unbreak.My.Heart. How can an episode with so much brutal carnage be the funniest & most poignant one yet? We can thank Kathy Bates & Frances Conroy because both really ‘brought it’ in this episode. Myrtle served up some bad-ass revenge, and Hell hath no fury like a woman “scorched.” Being burned at […]
American Horror Story: Coven – Get Ready For Some Good Head!
By: Urethra Franklin Warning: Spoilers by Ryan Murphy the blabber mouth, but I held some back. Last week’s episode of AHS:Coven had you all talking for days here on TT. Thank You! Because, to date, it was the episode that had the most comment participation from y’all. It’s nice to know I’m not all by […]
American Horror Story: Coven Recap– Supreme Suicides and a Severed Head
By: Urethra Franklin Well was this worth the 2 week wait? There were brief exciting moments, but there was a slow pace to Fiona’s drawn out depressing inner monologues about life vs. death. Even though beautifully written, they were dragging out like her maybe imminent death. My main complaint about the season is that the […]
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 8 The Sacred Taking
By: Urethra Franklin Welcome back scurrdy cats… I’m trying to get my AHS:Coven mojo back, but being chained to Tamara’s radiator for the extra week has depleted my brilliance…. We are past the series halfway mark, and I’m so fucking annoyed at show creator Ryan Murphy. He does not know how to tease with spoilers. […]
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 7 Recap Death Sex and Betrayal
By: Urethra Franklin Episode 7: “The Dead” is thematic for all the characters in this episode. Used to be dead…Will be dead…Wants to be dead…Doesn’t want to be dead…and I’m going to kill you dead. In the realm of AHS:Coven dead is NOT dead. Kyle and Madison who have died & were revived are trying […]
American Horror Story: Coven Preview Episode 7 “The Dead”
By: Urethra Franklin Before I get into the new episode I have so many questions about the Axeman after his spirit was released. Is he a flesh & blood human? Did the spell accidently bring him back to life? Did Zoe resurrect him unknowingly? Was his corpse trapped in the walls too? All this revival […]
American Horror Story: Coven Recap Episode 6 “The Axeman Cometh”
By: Urethra Franklin It’s New Orleans in 1919. The Axeman is a charming handsome fellow in a suit & hat, and he carries his axe in a saxophone case. He has been on a killing spree after taunting & eluding the police for months. He sent a letter to newspapers announcing his plans to kill […]
American Horror Story: Coven Preview of Episode 6 The Axeman Cometh
By: Urethra Franklin Warning: Spoilers, Teasers, & Precap for AHS:Coven Episode 6… and a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!! Are you ready to get scurred by someone other than season 1 & 2 villains Rubber Man & Bloody Face that also kills at night? What’s next for AHS:Coven after witches, minotaurs, & zombies? CHOP CHOP! It’s The AXEMAN […]
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 5 Recap “Burn,Witch. Burn!”
By: Urethra Franklin It’s 1833, and Madame Delphine LaLaurie is hosting a fancy schmancy Hallow Eve’s party with waltzing, masks, and a special Halloween edition of her Chamber of Horrors. The governor’s son, Jacques, is introduced as a potential suitor to her daughter Borja. Her nickname is Borquita (Little Borja). Madame LaLaurie wants to test him out with […]
American Horror Story : Coven Preview of Episode 5 Burn Witch Burn!
By: Urethra Franklin WARNING: There are some light SPOILERS below and some of my dumb ass ideas too. OH LAWD the Zombies are attacking the Academy because Fiona done messed with wrong WITCCHHH. Bible-Boy who is trapped outside and Nan is trying to help him. The others are barricaded upstairs wishing like hell that the […]
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 4 Recap/Blog –“Fearful Pranks Ensue”
Unpleasantly this episode starts off in 1961 with white men hanging a young black student to death because he has started attending a newly racially integrated school in New Orleans, who happens to be the son of a friend/patron of Marie Laveau. She exacts revenge by opening her voodoo boxes of chalk, knives, pearls, & […]
American Horror Story Coven: Episode 4 Precap & Teasers
AHS:Coven Episode 4- Precap & Teasers Urethra Franklin cautions you that creator/writer Ryan Murphy already publicly talked about these SPOILERS, and I’m trying to be a witch tease with ya’ll without spilling too much HOT tea. But get your first aid kit ready in case you get burned. The next AHS:Coven, episode 4 -“Fearful Pranks Ensue”. […]
Murder, Masturbation, Mama Drama and Mason Jars Full of Jizz
There are some things that just can’t be unseen. We were exposed to incest, boiling jizz in mason jars, and Precious masturbating in front of a raging bull. I have to channel Joan Ramsey’s bible thumping character and say “In the name of Gawd, the Lawd, & Yeezus what in the hellfire hell was that? […]
Urethra Franklin Spills The Tea on American Horror Story: Coven Episode 3
Urethra Franklin says: WARNING SPOILERS & TEASERS BELOW ! Tonight, On American Horror Story: Coven, we get introduced to some new characters. For all you theater lovers Patti Lupone moves in next door to Miss Robichaux’s Academy and she is playing Joan Ramsey, a high-strung bible thumping hellfire preacher church lady. Well isn’t that special? […]
Wil Heuser’s America Horror Story Witch Bitch Saga
I loved Wil Heuser’s Big Brother parodies over the summer. So you can imagine how thrilled I am that he will be doing an American Horror Story sequence for us! Tell me what you think! And don’t forget Urethra Franklin will be keeping you up to date on this week’s episode of American Horror Story!
Urethra Franklin’s Manifesto on American Horror Story: Coven Episode 2
If the rest of the season of AHS:Coven is going to be as thrilling as this 2nd episode, I am going to need a heart defibrillator. Jessica Lange’s breathy delivery of Fiona’s wicked scenes with her signature blink-less death glares is nothing short of brilliantly terrifying. Collectively these 3 women of a certain age, Bassett, […]
American Horror Story Precap: Boy Parts
Hey scurrdy cats. It’s me Urethra Franklin here, and I’m sure ya’ll are ready to get wickedly enchanted with tonight’s episode of AHS which had a record breaking audience for the premiere. The show is a HIT for the FX channel……This is the description according to my DVR guide: American Horror Story: Coven – Episode […]
American Horror Story: Deadliest Snatch Episode 1 Recap
By Urethra Franklin (Click link to follow on Twitter) Oh my GAH mon cheri’s, my heart is still racing as I begin to recap “Bitchcraft” the premiere episode of American Horror Story:Coven. Really this episode should have been titled “Deadliest Snatch” because of the correlation of death & vaginas…. Every season AHS embodies a different feel […]
Urethra Franklin Guest Blogging on American Horror Story: Coven
American Horror Story: Coven Episode 1: “Bitchcraft” BOO! everybody… Urethra Franklin is here, and I’m adding some scary spice to Tamara’s blog since she is a self-proclaimed scurrdy cat. Plus she’s had too many real life entanglements with REAL witches & bitches of the Sheree kind #FreeSpeech. This season’s plot is a smartly written story about […]