Well, gentle readers, this is the last Below Deck Med recap of the season. And what a wild ride it has been. I have found Captain’s Sandy’s edit to be particularly interesting. She went from BEST CREW EVER! To YOU ALL SUCK in the last few episodes. To be fair, I am not sure if […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Sweet White Glove O’ Mine
This day has gotten away from me. I stayed up WAY too late last night. So this Below Deck Med recap may be even worse than usual. 🙂 I was up very, very, VERY late working on a new post for Friday or Saturday about a new show to recommend. Because, binge watching. Anyway, on […]
Below Deck Med Recap: HOLY SHIP!
Y’all. What is wrong with me? I feel like I am on spring break or Rumspringa! I have this new, fuck it all sort of why don’t we get drunk and screw attitude gong on. For one thing it is hot as hell again this week. So I am drinking like a fish, not eating, […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Nauti Girls Need Love Too
With Ben’s return to the show, you also get me back on Below Deck Med recaps! So, um yay?! The show hasn’t even started yet and I am already worried about Colin. Hopefully, his wrist isn’t broken. But, that sure did look like a hard fall. We are back on-board with the obnoxious female guests […]
Below Deck Med Recap: It’s Ben A Long Time
Oh hey, it’s me Tamara, filling in once again for this Below Deck Med Recap! The thing is that I watched the show very late last night and then deleted it. So this should be an interesting adventure for all of us. We all know I can’t remember anything. So we started with a crying […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Don’t Cry For Me, Sirocco
by Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med Recap. This week, dysfunction aboard the Sirocco becomes explosive, and by journey’s end someone has tendered their resignation and abandoned ship. First off, I must question why Bravo felt they needed 90 minutes special for tonight’s episode. The drama that unfolded here is would translate to […]
Below Deck Med: Monte Car-loco
by Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med Recap, in which beautiful people will drink and make out in the pleasure capital of the Mediterranean, and Joao will slut-shame them all. Sorry to have missed last week’s fun, my fine friends, and I’m not quite back to working order yet. Anyone out there dealing […]
Below Deck Med Recap: June, June, Hannah.
Ahoy Mates! This Below Deck Med recap will be brought to you by me, TT as the Dalai Mama had an unexpected personal emergency to deal with at the last minute. Light your Saint Guadalupe, or Saint Valentina candles for her if you got them. Here is the thing, I watched this week’s episode a […]
Below Deck Med: A Whole Different Ball Game
by Dalai Mama On tonight’s Below Deck Med recap we pick up at the nightclub where June has just hurled into a garbage can. Hannah and Travis start canoodling a little. “There will be no feelings this season,” she declares resolutely in her talking head. The producer points out that she and Travis just made […]
Below Deck Med: What Eze the Problem?
by Dalai Mama The Below Deck Med Recap is relieved to announce that the Great Cutlery Conundrum of 2019 is over. The guests have their sky picnic with miracle forks and knives. As the world’s eyes turn to June, she bleats her innocence with more vocal fry than Lindsey Lohan on Oprah. Production helpfully Ramona-Singers […]
Below Deck Med: All Hail the Queen
by Dalai Mama Your Below Deck Med Recap awaits you. As we join our friends they are still out clubbing. Joao is marinating himself in tequila after biting Anastasia’s head off. The gang hits the dance floor and many Elaine From Seinfeld spastic dance moves occur. Travis snogs Hannah, while Aesha bumps and grinds like […]
Below Deck Med: Knot Today, Anchors
by Dalai Mama Welcome to your Below Deck Med Recap of the week. We open with menacing music. Colin has broken the boat, or at least the anchor. Sandy says “we have a situation”. Jack exults in the fact that his invertebrate work ethic had him goofing off at the time. Therefore he cannot be […]
Below Deck Med: 99 Problems But A Chef Ain’t One
By Dalai Mama On tonight’s Below Deck Med Recap, the saga of Mila the Cook Who Was Not a Chef continues. This is feeling as overmilked as the frosting on my strawberry Pop Tart. Cordon Blah We have to relive Captain Sandy’s breathless litany of praise for Mila. I’m as exhausted as Gilligan on the […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen
By Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med recap, in which we collectively pray for the hasty performance of a Milabotomy on the good ship Sirocco. I need to preface this recap with a little uncomfortable statement regarding my own personal Below Deck situation. I’m having my first colonoscopy tomorrow at oh dark-thirty. So […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Cannes You Cook?
By Dalai Mama Welcome to the Below Deck Med recap. As we tune in, the chronically affable guests have left, and the crew is heading out to blow off some steam. The lucky few in the non-Mila car are unaware of the source of tension spreading like rancid mayonnaise on a hate sandwich. Large amounts […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Recipe For Disaster
By Dalai Mama Welcome to the HMS Below Deck Med Recap. Come aboard. We’re expecting you. We begin with a little rehash of the Great Taco Skirmish of ’19. Hannah affirms that communication with Captain Sandy is going to be priority this season. Therefore, Hannah is appointing herself Chief Taster. Not so much as a single […]
Below Deck Med Recap: Pardon Your French
By Dalai Mama Welcome to my first Below Deck Med recap. I’m Dalai Mama, cruise director of recreational maritime hedonism. Come on board the HMS Sirocco. Let’s dive right in and meet our crew, shall we? We are graced once again with the leadership of my First Imaginary Future Wife, Captain Sandy Yawn. In addition, […]