I am still not over my lengthy Southern Charm recap from last week being eaten by my PC. That has never happened before and of course it had to happen on a long and detailed recap that I had taken my time writing. I’m still irked about it. Thanks for commenting on what was left of it last week. I can’t imagine a three part Southern Charm reunion, so it seems like we finally get to put this show to bed.
I’m recording Winter House tonight. I probably won’t recap it. However, as you know I have a weird sleep schedule and sleep with my TV on (In fact my TV is NEVER OFF) and I woke up to a Winter House marathon the other day. I kind of enjoyed it. So, I am hopeful about the new season. It seems kind of too dumb to recap. Maybe we can talk about tonight’s premiere in comments here!
Clearly, There Is No Girl Code
Um, why the hell is Andy Cohen whispering to Shep on the break that he feels bad for him? Shep is a middle aged grown adult who cannot keep his dick in his pants and has never had a job. Why does Andy feel the need to pamper him? There was a lot of drinking at the lunch break. Then, it is time to rag on Venita. Venita talks about a boyfriend who she basically supported. He cheated on her. Then, they talk about her mother. Venita is the Sutton of Southern Charm. Kathryn seems really jealous of Venita. I guess that was the ten seconds Venita got. Once again, Madison makes it all about her. Why is Madison here?
Andy says that “Naomie’s comeback kept everyone coming back for more.” I am I on crack or is Andrew high? Finally, some truth. She did crawl back into town after her relationship failed. And she ditched everyone on her way out. Kathryn points out that Naomie posted negative things about the cast. She also posted things implying she was too good for the show. I must have missed the part where Craig hooked up with Naomie in Vegas. Naomie apparently gets quite frisky in Vegas. Craig was dating Paige long distance at the time and they were not monogamous according to Craig.
No wonder Paige wanted Craig to have no contact with Naomie! It all make more sense now! No one believes the Whitney storyline. Why isn’t Whitney there?
Peter Panning Around Charleston
Craig has a deal with Kroger to sell his pillow line. Um, good for him, but who buys pillows at a grocery store? Do people still even go to grocery stores? Kidding. Sort of. That’s probably just me. Andy brings out how blackout drunk Craig got in St. Simons. He tried to beat Austen’s ass. Naomie says he tried to pay the Uber driver with leaves. I think he is back to mixing Adderall with booze. I was just reading the opening chapter of his book on Amazon and he talks about his addiction to Adderall. Craig says Naomie can still push his buttons. Leva and Craig get into a nonsensical argument.
Kathryn can’t stand Leva and is sitting right next to her making nasty comments under her breath. Leva says she had a breast reduction. Then she says she and her husband are talking about having another child. So, perhaps she should have held off on the boob job? Then we get a clip of Leva’s new show which is now called Southern Hospitality. It fits for a restaurant type show, but Leva is not southern. Leva admits that she is bossy. Twitter seems to hate Leva. Leva unfollowed, Madison, Venita, Austen, Craig and Kathryn. She was pissed that they didn’t defend her when Craig kicked her out.
Even More Irritating Things About Shep
Andy wonders why Shep sleeps with half the eastern seaboard and doesn’t believe in wearing condoms. Shep has no real answer. Andy asks if Shep he wants kids. He says “maybe one day.” He’s 43. If he had a kid tomorrow he would be sixty when the kid graduated from high school. Andy chimes in to say “I was fifty!” Like that is normal. He will be 68 when his oldest kid graduates from high school. Taylor’s parents love Shep even after they watched him belittle her all season? Does she not have a father or a big brother? That would result in a good old fashion ass whooping in most southern families. WTF? What is there to love?
Marci said that he speaks that way to his mom. Taylor affirms that. Even Shep says he speaks that way to “everybody.” Taylor says that Shep degrades his parents and they just let it roll off their backs. Shep seems shocked and confused by what she is saying. Taylor says that no one holds Shep accountable for anything, including his parents who he apparently treats badly. Shep, at age 43 says he is still trying to figure his life out. Taylor says Shep used her. Welcome to a very large club, Taylor. All the girls are tearing up. Shep is a whore. This is not news. Taylor says she is in love with Shep. Shep says he will always ove her but he is not IN LOVE with her right now.
As Things Crawl To An End…
During the break, and there seem to be a LOT of them show on this reunion Shep says, “I can’t believe she went after my parents.” She did not go after your parents you fucktard, she went after how you TREAT your parents. He is so dense. Taping resumes with Andy asking why Shep convinced her to quit her job. But, it quickly moves on to what happened on the trip. Shep says about a quarter of the way through, they were in Venice living “high on the hog.” They went to a Michelin star restaurant and she started crying during dinner.
Oh please let us hear Taylor’s side of this bullshit. Shep continues on saying that she said they don’t see the world in the same way and don’t think that they really belong together. Taylor says that when she travels overseas she spends time volunteering in third world countries, not eating Michelin star dinners. She was also uncomfortable with him paying for all of these expensive things. Andy mentions that when they came back, Shep was caught trying to kiss one of Leva’s employees. He says Craig can speak to that as apparently he blacked out and has no memory of that. The employee let Taylor know that he was hitting on her really hard that night. And that was it for Taylor and Shep.
Is it me or was Kathryn not asked anything about anything and had the least amount of time on the reunion. Probably because she was not willing to talk about this.