Sorry for missing last week. My DVR just couldn’t record everything. There are a lot of good things on tonight. Bachelor In Paradise begins. Yes it is a stupid show. But, I need less murders, hurricanes, and death notices in my inbox everyday. Less war. Less political nonsense. I just need less. A distraction from the real world. And Bachelor In Paradise gives me that. I’m also not someone who listens to music. But, I love singing competitions. It’s another way to escape reality for a bit. The Voice is also on tonight. I love the fake bickering between all the judges and rooting for some of the contestants. I’m three weeks behind after tonight on Queen Sugar. Mostly, unlike a lot of shows I watch, it’s too good just to be on in the background. But for now, it’s time for a Below Deck Down Under Recap.
Wow, it looks like I have blown off the Below Deck Down Under Recap more often than I thought. Hopefully, I can jump right back in. BTW, Jason needs to wax all that peach fuzz on his body. Just my opinion. Here we go. It looks like Benny is about to get fired. But Captain Jason just gives him a serious warning. Jamie is pissed that Captain Jason didn’t fire Benny. Meanwhile, Magda is still constantly on the phone. He boyfriend is hanging out with her best friend. Then, Captain Jason once again tries to talk to Chef Ryan. Of course Ryan lets it go in one ear and out the other.
It’s a crew night out. Magda calls her then boyfriend (we learned on WWHL they are not still together) and says, “I’m going out. I look so hot.” Who does that? The a couple of the girls, Aesha and Magda I think seem to think it is cool to call everyone bitches. Jamie is particularly offended. Oh and apparently, Brittini is doing it too. It’s totally disrespectful even in jest. Especially when you know it offends that person. Tumi is the only stew that Jamie is talking to at the moment and she tries to comfort him. Explains that word is a huge trigger for him.
Magda Continues to Act Like A Fool
Culver is trying to pick up Brittini but it is not going well. Poor, sweet, Tumi has to listen to Magda whine about her boyfriend. Magda says she doesn’t care about her job. Well, tell us something we didn’t know Magda. You don’t even actually do your job. And the girl you a bitching to picks up your slack. There are two more charters. Get your shit together and get it done! Or quit. Tumi and Aesha do most of your job for you already! Tumi is concerned.
Finally, the poor themselves into the cars and head back to the boat. Jamie is still pissed at Aesha, Magda and Brittini. Is he being a bit sensitive? Yes of course but when someone asks you not to call them a name, then just stop. Because after that it is just rude and and offensive. Brittini who was the least involved in the situation asks Culver what she should do. He suggests everyone sleep it off and deal with it sober. Sound advice.
Girls Will Be Girls…
After going to bed at 2:30 some people have to be up as six. Benny thinks it is a big deal he started working five minutes early. Interesting, he didn’t think it was a big deal all the times he was half an hour late. Magda wakes up and realizes she has lost her phone. YAY! Maybe now she will focus on her job! Nope. She has a breakdown and wakes everyone up to borrow their phones to call her boyfriend. She says she never asks people for help but she needs their help. Tumi replies, “What do you mean you don’t ask people for help?” Get her girl! Magda says work is different.
Aesha grabbed Magda’s purse for her and the second she got her phone back began texting with her boyfriend. She just randomly tells him she is still mad at him but she didn’t get with anyone the night before. If I were him, I would assume that means she did. The next charter is for one night. Ryan mocks their food choices. Because, Ryan. Jamie goes to Captain Jason about the girls calling him a bitch. But, only mentions Brittini who is extremely remorseful, and Aesha. What about Magda? Captain Jason says he will come down hard on the girls. But, he doesn’t. He just tells Aesha to stop and and she laughs after he walks away. Then, he goes to Brittini. He’s even nicer to her about it. Her reaction is that Jamie going to the captain about it is a “bitchy bitch move.” She’s right. Jamie looks like a douche for not handling this issue himself. It would have gone so much easier.
Magda Doing Yoga While Captain Jason Is Cleaning
Brittini is on deck cleaning the hot tub when Aesha walks out to check on her. Brittini starts crying. They end up laughing and saying that Jamie is such a bitch. He won’t even look at look at Brittini let alone speak to her. Magda, who got off scot free from the bitch situation. Is doing a piss poor job and using her tee-shirt that she wearing to “clean the sink.” What is wrong with this girl? This picture completely sum up Magda’s lack of work ethic. Aesha discovers that there is a robe missing from the master bedroom. Don’t they have extras for this sort of situation? Ah they found it!
The guests arrive and Dave hates them before they arrive because they want high tea. They are British! They immediately start drinking their asses off. As they should! Although, spilling their drinks is a huge party foul. Ryan says there are three charters left. Actually, there is only one after this. Old interview? The guests are drinking faster than Tumi and Aesha can make them. They call Magda down for help. But, she is useless. She somehow has done this whole charter without making a strawberry drink. Then, Magda calls Tumi for help finding the frozen strawberries.
Tumi Works Her Magic On A Mexican Tablescape
Tumi tries to explain to Ryan that the chocolate fondue won’t be accessible at the dinner table. Ryan suggests moving it to the bar where it should be anyway. Makes sense to me. Meanwhile Captain Jason says he has a chef for him, two deckhands, and one stew. Great. Fire Ryan, Fire Benny and Fire Magda. Somehow the hot tub is gross again so Benny gets tasked with cleaning it.
The guests get their tacos but they are way too spicy to eat. My guess is that Brits just are not used to spicy food. No offense to the Brits here. But, the food there is kind of bland. They hated the spicy beef, but they also hated the fish tacos. How do you fuck up fish tacos? They insist Aesha tell the chef they hated their dinner. Oh God. Ryan just said what I said about the Brits. Now, I’m an asshole too. LOL. Ryan didn’t ask for a plug to plug in the chocolate fountain. He is so fired. I feel like honestly that a lot of this is production. Ryan probably has a bigger gig somewhere else.
Things Keep Getting Worse In The Kitchen
Captain Jason has to deal with the extension cord problem. Meanwhile, guess what Magda is doing? Sigh. Brittini and Culver are planning a van trip. After that blonde girl whose boyfriend killed her on a van trip, I’m going say this is not a good idea. Road trips with couples have a tendency to start huge fights. The guests go to bed super early. Did they ever even see the chocolate fountain? Magda appears to also be texting someone named Scott to tell him she is going to bed. Her boyfriend’s name is Maciek. WTF? Then he calls and she whines about her BFF, Paulina being mean to her. She was not. She is delusional.
The next morning, Magda once again has not done her job. Benny is still not doing what needs to be done, and Ryan is very late with breakfast. Jason tries to make up for it by taking everyone snorkeling. The guests love it. Ryan has no idea how to make finger food for high tea. Did I mention they are BRITISH? They may not know tacos, but they know HIGH TEA. Of course they hate it. This is the worst charter of all the ones across any franchise.
They got $1,333 each. not bad for a one night cruise. Aesha is ready to fire Madga and bring on a new stew. Oh he is going to tell her right away. And he does. YAY! Dave is next, and Benny is likely to go too.
I have no idea why this recap took over two hours but it did. Sorry. Hope someone reads it. 🙂