Sorry, I slept through triple recap Wednesday! I’ve actually fallen asleep during RHOBH and the Dubai reunion at least two times. But, I am sitting up now and going to bang out a RHOBH recap add just a few words on Dubai, because I don’t have much to say about that really. It was good. Just not a lot to discuss really.
And now it is time for the much anticipated trip to Aspen. But first, Kyle and Dorit have to talk about how Sutton is getting bashed a lot by Rinna. Then they immediately bash her some more. Why is Garcelle inviting Madam Diana over to her house for champagne and charcuterie? Diana arrives hung over with her outfit on backwards. WTF? Diana immediately starts bashing Sutton. Diana is staying at hotel in Aspen because she needs energy cleansers to rid the room of negative energy. Meanwhile, I miss funny Rinna. Losing your mama is SUPER HARD. I get it. I just don’t want to relive it with her, if that makes sense.
Mauricio is coming on the girls trip. He just wants to ski and avoid the drama. Allegedly. Kyle is worried about Dorit staying in the rental house with the other girls and the private chef. She’s still freaked out by the robbery. I’m just ready to get to Aspen. The ladies are just finding out about Erika’s $750,000 earrings. I jealous of Kyle and Mauricio getting to bring their dog.
I don’t think I could do Aspen. When I was in high school I went with my church group to Lake Placid. We were kind of like the Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on doors inviting people to our Southern Baptist summer day camp kind of thing. Most every place we went people said, no thank you (or worse) we’re Catholic. I have no idea why the location was chosen. But, my point and I did have one was I was exhausted THEN when I was in tip top shape. So, Aspen sounds nice, but I think it is a hard NOE for me me, dawg.
The rental house is way nicer than Kyle’s. It’s amazing. Kyle’s house is great too. But, the rental is DIVINE! Kathy, Erika and Rinna are at Kyle’s house. Maybe one more person. Everyone else is at the big house except Dirty Diana who is in a posh hotel suite by herself with a personal assistant and a stylist. Crime pays, allegedly. It’s utter chaos at Kyle’s house mostly because of Kathy. Oh wait, it seems like they are all in the rental. Now they are bringing out the Ouija board. Are they 12? It reminds me of playing “light as a feather stiff as a board” at slumber parties and my mother telling me that was a demonic game.
Oh Look! More Sutton Bashing
First of all, Kyle is making up the Ouija board questions. So first we have to go through the whole Four/Five Fox Fuckups. They are the reason that #RHOBHMeanGirls trends every Wednesday night on Twitter. Kyle is just such a horrible person this season. The conversation turns to Sutton ONCE AGAIN and when Sutton says that no one defended her when Erika called her a cunt Dirty Diana says, “Because you are one. ” But Sutton unfollowing Erika from IG is this big cardinal sin? Erika is HORRIBLE to Sutton. Sutton controls her IG. Why is she not allowed to unfollow whoever she wants to? Why should she have to follow a FELON BY BRAVO? Allegedly, at this point. Go fuck yourself Kyle. You are the biggest cunt of this season.
Diana is the biggest cunt on this show. I can’t have another season with her. I don’t believe a Diana had a miscarriage. Crystals talking head was the most rational thing on this show. She says that Sutton has apologized a million times and it will never really matter. Diana leaves and Sutton is ready to go home. She is crying. She needs to go get the fanciest suite in Aspen for a few days and then take a PJ home. This season is really messing with Sutton’s mental health. She does not need this show in her life. She has a great life without the show.
NOW KYLE IS COMFORTING SUTTON? BITCH YOU CAUSED THIS!
Finally, next week are they going to final mention that Erika is refusing to give up her earrings so the victims can be paid. She has a CUNT necklace and steals from victims and orphans. ALLEGEDLY. But, SUTTON the sweet one is a cunt? WHAT exactly is going on here?
And Now A Few Words About The Dubai Reunion
I have watched portions of this episode of Dubai, multiple times tonight. I kept falling asleep. Not because it was boring it’s just I can’t get on a schedule where I sleep at appropriate times. Also, Camels are HORRIBLE CREATURES. At the beginning of the episode, Naomi Campbell invites Ayan to walk with her in a fashion show in Dubai. Somehow, I missed that part the first few re-airings I dozed in and out of. I feel like Andy thinks he is speaking Arabic and I believe he is “speaking” Persian. I could be wrong.
Caroline Stanbury really comes for Lesa replete with a “book” calling her a liar. Everyone thinks their families are safer in Dubai. Apparently, although Sergio was hired by a Team Madrid or whatever, he never played as a professional. Also, he has some racist tweets out there. He seems to be a gold digger and perhap a fake storyline for Caroline. Can someone explain why men don’t wear socks anymore? Caroline Stanbury doesn’t look at whoever is talking much. She basically stares straight ahead most of the time.
Brooks and Ayan have a very strange relationship. I am not going to be able to watch next week much. It’s going to go into Ayan FGM and the details are too much for me, and I find Andy’s questions very invasive.