Seriously??? This Southern Charm recap is going to be about a dog wedding? Why is Patricia even on this show? She’s old enough to be the grandmother of most of the cast! I’m so not in the mood. But, I have missed a few of the Southern Charm recaps and I am trying to “get back on the horse” so to speak. Okay, sorry for the delay. I was watching the live HOH comp on the BB live feeds. It was REALLY good. 🙂 I’m in a much better mood now. Let’s do this! Is that Naomi doing the voice overs tonight? That’s not a good sign. I kind of want her to be gone.
Whitney and Shep take the soon to be betrothed dogs on a walk on the battery. Shep and Whitney both talk about how they are sort of averse to the idea of getting married. There are two very different reasons for that though. Shep is a whoredog and well, Whitney…errrrr doesn’t seem to be into women.
Taylor, Olivia and Kathryn Go To Lunch
I’m not sure who if anyone is actually friends with Kathryn this season. Yet, here we are. Kathryn says she plans to change her hair color back to red. Olivia has a blind date to the stupid dog wedding. Austen talks to his sister on Zoom. Austen is just not that into Olivia. He’s Shep junior. Neither one can handle a relationship. Kathryn was not invited to the wedding. She should count her blessings. Patricia is so petty. I’m sorry but the dog groom is not attractive. I have a girl crush on Venita and Leva’s kids are ADORABLE.
Olivia’s blind date is cute and a way better choice than Austen. Jack the Ripper is a better choice than Austen. Lil Craig farts in the car all the way to the wedding. He’s the perfect dog for Shep. It’s amazing how dogs always seem to find their person. This is the dumbest thing I think I have ever watched. Venita’s dog apparently feels the same way. Charles takes a shit on the whole event. Leva seems like a nice normal person this season. Maybe because we don’t see that much of her? But I think she is getting her own Bravo show. Or maybe it is a podcast. I wasn’t paying much attention.
Austen Is Not Thrilled To See Olivia With A Date
Austen literally just told his sister he wanted to play the field more or less. Suddenly, I am reminded of the time many years ago when my profile was deleted by Match.com because I titled it, “I’m ready to be tied down.” I thought it was a funny double entendre. They thought it was too risque for the site. LOL. Austen is NOT ready to be tied down but he doesn’t want Olivia dating anyone else. Yet he is still pining for Madison. It’s raining on the wedding day.
Naomie is pissed that Craig is distancing himself from her because he is with Paige now. Then, Naomie insists that Craig give Paige his jacket. Can we just get on with it, PUHLEASE. I have live feeds to watch. Plus 90% of the people there don’t want to be there sitting in the rain for an outdoor dog wedding. The officiant, a veterinarian, is funny. But not nearly as funny as Patty basing what is southern (it surely isn’t her as much as she wishes it was) based off the movie Steel Magnolias. Because the groom had that kind of cake in the movie, she thinks it is a “very southern thing.” I can assure you it is not.
Austen is hitting the hard liquor because his panties are in a twist over Olivia coming with a date. Madison is getting married and Austen does not want to speak to her either. He is such a dick. Then Patty has Naomie come sit next to Craig asking him if the ceremony “put him in the mood.” Craig and Austen both stalk off. Craig goes to hang with Paige. Paige and Craig tell Austen that Ciara, another one of Austen’s exes is in town sleeping on Craig’s couch.
Naomi and Taylor are on WWHL. I need to pop back in to the BB live feeds for a bit but may do a mini recap in comments if there is anything interesting to add. Austen want to revenge fuck Ciara. Because, Austen. Naomi pulls Craig aside to talk. Now Paige is pissed again. Basically, she wants to know if she is coming between her relationship. Craig basically tells her to go fuck herself.
Next week Kathryn’s ex boyfriend and Austen apparently still can’t keep his dick in his pants.