Wow, it’s been a hot minute since I have done a RHOA recap. I really wanted to do RHOBH on Wednesday. It’s the biggest post of the week every week. RHOA on the other hand gets very little attention and very low comments. I remember when it was the biggest post of the week. I just didn’t have it in me for RHOBH this week. But, I think I’m ready to get back on the horse. But keep your expectations low. 🙂 Right now in the background I have the RHOA panning for gems. Their behavior, especially taking down Charlie’s Trump sign, was despicable. I don’t even blame Marlo for sending them all home.
Whew. I am worn out already. I just tried to do some prep on something to eat (shrimp and rice). It took all of five minutes and I am exhausted. Sheree who doesn’t seem to even have sketches yet, it telling someone in conservative guard that her model need to have “nice titties.” How much long can this farce actually go on? Kenya really has it in for Sanya. Is it just jumping the newbie into the gang? Kenya talks to Drew and lets her know her cousin isn’t feeling well so she is not up to the trip. Kenya is extending her stay to celebrate her birthday with her family. Who the heck is Sheree going to bring to Jamaica?
Drew’s husband Ralph is writing a book. It has something to do with being a step parent. Drew is a bit concerned that the book is about her eleven year old son Josiah. Ralph wanted to adopt him, but his bio dad shot that down real quick even though apparently he’s not really in his son’s life that much. I hear thunder rolling in. I’m stressing. Ralph won’t even let Drew know what is in the book.
Off To Jamaica!
Sanja’s husband, Ross, forgot to pack his passport. Who does that? Marlo’s plus one is her florist. Hmmmm. That’s interesting. Kenya is riding solo. Miraculously, everyone makes it to Jamaica in a good mood. Kandi says that Marlo continues to hide her “sponsors” from the girls. The group is staying at a new Adults Only All Inclusive hotel, Ocean Eden Bay. Sanya, who for whatever reason Kenya is a cunt to, set up a special suite for Kenya for her birthday with rose petals and other festive stuff. That was very kind of her. This place is HUGE!
Kenya is already scoping out the man situation in the golf cart on the way to the suites. If I had a suite with an ocean view I’d only leave my room for dinner. Kenya has her golf cart turn around to flirt with a guy. You go girl! Kenya invites him to dinner and he accepts! I guess it doesn’t matter who asks whom when at an all inclusive resort. Kandi is pissed. She is hangry. She just wants to get to her room. Sanya’s room has a whole buffet in there. I would not want that in my room. Y’all go to your room and eat. Kandi has been to the resort before. But she’s not telling anyone. Kenya’s new date is texting her to confirm dinner. I like this John from England. He’s picking her up so they can go together. Kenya works fast!
Oh Kenya, Gurl. That white dress does not fit you properly and it is not doing you any favors. Your body is too fine to waste on an ill fitting dress. But, John from England seems to like it and that is all that matters at this point. After Kenya claims she can tell John is a good guy (and it seems like he is) shady production gives us a whole reel of Kenya’s bad choices in men. And Lord knows they were bad. Sanya on the other hand is wearing the hell out of that black and white barely there dress. And somehow it looks very classy when she sit down at the table. Sheree apparently paid some girl named “Michelle” to be her plus one. Allegedly.
Everyone picks at poor John. It’s cute though. Some guys from another table sent over a bottle of wine. Hell, maybe I need to go to this place. I always said NEVER AGAIN to Jamaica. But, as someone pointed out to me here. I was just a stupid traveler. But, I was very young and it was my first trip. I do not suggest Jamaica on a budget. There were some frightening moments. But, my stupidity also took us to the REAL Jamaica since me and my co worker survived the trip, we do have some interesting memories. We took a local taxi with our “guide” at one point. Then makes stops kind of like buses. I believe at one point there was a live chicken in the car. Why didn’t I journal that trip? LOL.
Marlo Tries To Make It About Marlo
Ralph talks about his book a lot. Drew put him up to that. He explains that he wanted to adopt Josiah but his father still wants to be a part of his life and is not okay with that. Marlo of all people starts judging Ralph? Shut the fuck up Marlo. Even Kandi points this out to Marlo. Then, Marlo randomly says to Kandi that her mother comes before her man. We were having such a nice time! Why Marlo gotta ruin everything???? Kandi points out that Marlo couldn’t properly parent her nephews so she threw the out of the house. True facts. Then Marlo says that Kandi takes care of her man. Kandi is not having Marlo disrespect her husband. That is NOT going to happen.
Why is Sheree doing a talking head in a bra? Did we flash back to the eighties? Is Madonna playing in the background? WTF is happening there? No one is on Marlo’s side. Todd then steps up to tell Marlo that she bought her way into this circle. None of these people where her friends. Todd says that as a former producer on the show he know that she didn’t even know Phaedra who “brought her on the show.” Marlo needs to really watch her mouth because Todd has ALL the tea on Marlo.
Then Marlo says that Kandi is only know in Atlanta? Is Marlo on crack. As Kandi said, “I’m worldwide, bitch.” She’s producing Broadway shows! She on The Chi! She’s on a lot of things other than Bravo. She’s had more spinoffs on Bravo than any other housewife. She has TLC, Xscape she writes music for tons of stars. Shut your whorish face, Marlo!
John from England left the table and went back to his room. 🙁 It was such a nice episode until Marlo ruined it.
I’m BACK BITCHES! At least for now.