Looking for love and support from you guys. That is what one of you said to me. And she is right. I am just doing the best I can over here. Life is rough. I fell AND WAS NOT DRUNK and hurt myself during a very scary lighting storm. I agreed with her I may be an alcoholic at this point. I also agree with her saying I look to you guys for love and attention. Why is that so wrong? I need to get some attention from someone? Some people here actually care about me.
I am sure she will comment here and be nice to her. She is trying to help me. Let’s just start to get me through this. I am eleventy billion years old and nobody ever loved me. I’m doing my world over here all alone. I’m not trying to have babies or even friends at this point. Literally no one cares if I drink myself to death. I mean I know Y’all do but. I don’t have many people in my life who I could do a whole lot for. And yet they do a whole lot for this old alcoholic. Don’t worry I will try again soon to get on trip to somewhere and never come back. I will totally keep you updated.
People are overrated. I’ve found lately that the people you think you can count on the most are the ones that do nothing for you when you need them. I’m going through that right now so I get it.
THIS.
You young lady can count on me til we are both decrepid old biddies ! In the meantime you are not an alcoholic you are a writer & all writers tend to drink & smoke to get the creative juices flowing. You are so much more than you think you are ! Granted you are not conventional ( & neither am I ) therefore as an artist ( & we both are dear twin ) we have some bad ass habits quirks & foibles just like tbe rest of society. Please do not label yourself as anything less than FABULOUS ! It takes one to know one & I KNOW YOU very very well. Mirror image dear twin. A bit insecure at times ( who wouldnt be during this time on planet earth Christ knows I am ) a bit unsure at times ( the future is scary to contemplate especially post Trump post pandemic post apocolypse but remain FABULOUS nonetheless ! Considering pandemic lockdown fear isolation & general angst anxiety depression you have managed to continued to blog continued to be compassionate & kind to others while struggling yourself. Never doubt your numerous gifts bawdy sense of self & humor & try to accept the love care & concern we all have for you which we will always have regardless of Bravo attrocities time space & unfortunate circumstances. I for one ADORE you as adoration lasts a hell of a lot longer than mere love !
Always ( you are stuck with me ) FOREVER ad infinitum
xoxo Marc with a c
p.s your gay husband is one lucky smart & fortunate man. I your twin / side chick is more than willing to be that soulmate twin flame partner in crime LAVERNE to your Shirley eternally no matter who what where why & when # rant over LOVE YOU SOUL SISTER 😘😘😘
Marc with a c, what a wonderful post. I for one want the best for our TT. It’s been Interesting,and that is the quote,
I’m sorry you’re going through bad stuff right now, TT.
Sometimes we just need people to listen. Vent away. We all need to do this from time to time.
You do have people who care about you. We do. Hugs.
I really very sincerely care how you’re doing TT, and I wish every day that things were easier and gentler for you. I’m sorry they haven’t been.
I read your comment as a concerned comment not as the above implies that you called TT an old alcoholic which you did not. You offered your number and support.
TT I’m so sorry about your fall and that you haven’t been feeling well.
Was supposed to be in reply to Daintyfeet. Gremlins
it makes me sad that you turned my comment into ammo for others to attack me. but thanks for telling them to be kind to me. I was sincere and I thought you were sincere in your reply to me. guess not.
You were absolutely right with what you said then and now d.
Your comment was spot on
I don’t need anyone to tell me to be nice to you … I would be anyway. I read your comment and thought it was very honest and caring. The truth can hurt but it’s necessary.
Lots of Hugs, TT. and compassion & empathy & all the other ‘I SINCERELY WANT YOU TO BE WELL’ pretty synonyms that I’m too tired to come up with right now.
this is a community. And it’s nice to be a part of a bunch of ppl who are just nice people. It’s nice that you are always here to provide that space. it makes me feel good if I can make someone else feel a little bit of a giggle on any given day.
Oh
And making fun of a few housewives along the way doesn’t hurt any 🙂
Nice people ROCK ! We are a community of nice people. I think that being non judgemental & supportive is what this place here is all about !
I hear you. Remember that you’re a good person though T. You’re not a bad person at all. You do so many good things for others. To give you feedback as a reading observer for a long time, I’ve known alcohol has been a problem in your life. I know this because of the signs. But you know what’s really strong? You are a sharp woman and realize it in yourself which most people can’t own up to. You can do this. Alcohol just makes people pissed off all the time. It makes people unable to execute their responsibilities and to be able to live a moral value life they really want and have in their hearts. I wish you to have every peace that you deserve
Honey, I didnt report it here, but my brother in law drank himself to death just last week. It was horrible, painful, physically and emotionally. He was there for 2 days before anyone found him. He shut himself down from everyone but it took many years to go. What my family has had to go through this past week I would not wish on anyone, especially on Chris, the one who died alone, in a high rise apartment with a doorman, surrounded by garbage with a recently amputated leg. As I was going through his stuff in front of my house yesterday (I cant bring it in until I clean it), the mailman delivered his ashes. This was a man who has an antique and classic book collection that would cause any librarian to swoon. I dont know what to do with all of his treasures. What could have gone differently in his life? He had a job, he had a normal life up to one point, then it all fell apart. I am proud of Dainty trying to help, because all we want to do it help, and it all of our nudging, praising, forcing, colluding, can get you a few foot steps into the open air with the people you like, not the ones who bring you down. I was out with three good friends last night. We arent best friends, but we love to hang out together and we laugh so much about out stupid lady shit that goes on in out lives that our cheeks hurt! It helps our psyche so much! You can reach out to me any time, too
thanks for the support. alcoholism is a disease of isolation. we isolate ourselves from all others and then cry about how alone we are. there is help out there, but nobody can do it for you.
no…there really is NOT a lot of help for those of us who anxiety keeps us from doing most things. I know you want to help but saying there is help out there is not really true for people with monetary and insurance and other limitations.
So true. We are all doing the best we can to survive this world. Never meant to put myself out there for constant judgement. So I am going to drink whenever I want to. And if that for some issue you have annoys you, too bad for you. I am going back to bed now, CHEERS!
Amen Sister!
Exactly. Unfortunately especially since COVID 19 not many caregivers health providers are well enough themselves to truly commit to a high level of concern or patient care whilst struggling themselves !
I don’t pretend I know what it is like to know what it is like to go through this, I know I don’t. I know anxiety for sure, but I don’t live with agoraphobia. I don’t have alcoholism, I just know firsthand the effects of it on loved ones. I can’t give advice on things I don’t live with myself, I can just talk about my experiences on the periphery.
I am so truly sorry – for him and for your family. It’s horrible to have someone you care about get to such a low place that nothing brings them out. My uncle was an alcoholic & tried rehab multiple times, would not stay. He could not stop drinking. His wife told him it had to stop. Six months after my daddy killed himself, my uncle did the same. He left his wife a note saying it just stopped. He was a really intelligent man, he had had a great career at one time. This breaks my heart for you and your family. It’s a really helpless and heartbreaking feeling.
Sending you love. I wish I could help you because you’ve helped me. I don’t expect anything from you, but I always love to hear anything you post. But only if you feel it.
I’ve been forty-fucking-four for almost a year and the journey I have been on has been a total mind fuck and it comes down to this. I have struggled my whole life with feeling worthy, accepted, loved. This year I have realized I deserve and want love…. From no one but myself. It was the best moment of my life when I felt that and I wish that for you. Love and acceptance starts in your own heart and I pray you discover that soon. All the love and room to grow!
good for you! I’m glad you came to that realization while you are still young. go get em’ and live your best life.
💗💗💗 truly a gift!
I took it as TT is processing the comment and being introspective. Sounds like your comments came from the heart and from place of concern. If I read correctly, she said you were right in some aspects. I thought she was saying don’t attack you for speaking honestly, not ammo to attack. Send positive vibes to both of you.
This was reply to DaintyFeets. Wrong place! Wi-Fi gremlins.
I had a had very hard fall,Then suddenly everyone goes in.
I can’t get over the number of people who died after a fall. I haven’t been able to walk to the bathroom without fear of falling. I still can’t feel my legs. Suddenly everyone is falling and dying. BTW I read Ivanka’s bio. She was not a bad person. I enjoyed her book. I appreciate y’all… or most of y’all.
I am more used to everyone being an asshole to me. Thus the title. I am going to try to get to DOCTOR #3 today. Or tomorrow or spring summer september.
i don’t feel well and maybe I should just checkout until all the judgemental people are done bashing me.
Tamara, it’s weird how we can hear multiple words and prayers and thoughts of encouragement, but the one we hear is the negative comment. I Always focus on that one thing. I guess it is human nature.
I have a good job, kids, grandkids etc. But I feel So Alone in this world. So alone. I actually went to an AA meeting Saturday just to maybe make some friends? And not feel so alone? I literally do not tell this to Anyone. Anyone. You are not alone and fuck those who think they need to give you advice when all you asked for was support. This is My support group too! I feel ya girl. Much love to you xonancy
Much love to you TT and to you Nancy! We are here for you and will support in any way we can!
Nancy, I feel alone too these days. I used to go with birders and walked the parks. Covid hit and I’m isolated. I’ll say something positive, in that I love your posts.
Thank you belladonna! I needed that! And Mecle also, I really appreciate the support.
I miss my trial friends 😘
I miss the trial itself! And only got into it halfway through. The OJ trial, which was very eye opening for me (You mean I am not the only woman who was abused by their loved ones? I know, I was young and extremely naïve.) was 11 months long and I could watch this trial unfold for 9 more months. With the same underlying current about abuse, the AH trial was also very personal to me. I was heartbroken when OJ got away with murder literally, and obversely thrilled with the outcome on the Amber Heard trial. I hate when people call it the Johnny Depp trial, She was on trial not him! I’m a lawyer in my mind. 🙂
And now a word from our sponsor: clicks are Important! Click on every post, make a comment. It serves Tamara and us. Go back and read old posts. That also helps especially if you comment. Tamara needs and deserves our support!!
Nancy! I had just moved halfway across the country and didn’t have a job yet when the OJ trial came on so I literally watched it everyday! Got my new job when verdict was read and was in conference room and was devastated. I’m sure people I worked with couldn’t figure out why i was so invested!!
I just can’t handle injustice of any kind!!
XoXo
This is so true Nancy. Why do we let the bad shit be louder in our minds than the good stuff? It’s validating to know others do the same though.
And I miss my trial friends too., Melcle. All of you are awesome. It’s so much fun to follow along with all of y’all. I still watch Emily d baker’s replay to keep up with the AH and ELAINE desperation . I’m starting to get interested in the Murdaugh cluster too bc it’s insane. That kind of stuff is an awesome distraction. I literally bought a roku solely for court tv, lol.
😘😘
Omg yes the Murdaugh case is crazy!!!!
Tamara – keep Murdaugh case on your “things to post about!”
I was an avid pothead for most of my life. The only way I could cope with my life and all the things. I always had mid level management positions in big corporations. Always an a+ employee. Never not offered a job if I wanted it. I budgeted the weed so why not. And cigarettes and the occasional opiate. Thank God for the pot. Now 65yo,disabled with COPD and isolated. Forced to stop smoking and cannot drink or take opiates. BIG BUMMER &adjustment. Everyone has betrayed me. Family friends. But not hubby.
You are gone figure it out TT. I just know it. People are overrated and some love to see you suffer. Evil. But, there are those few who get it. Much love to you. God’s speed. 💙
can you do edibles?
Hi Tamara, I’m so sorry you are going through physical hardships 🙁
A couple of ideas come to mind:
*What about getting a couple of moderators to help you throw away the negative comments?
*what about getting either 2 kittens, they are so much fun! They play together and can cuddle with you and are very self sufficient! The best for us that have some sort of anxiety etc
*If cats aren’t an option, what about another dog? There are so many out there that will love to be your sidekick!
*Also, you not feeling well and falling is not good at all being that you are by yourself. How about getting an aide that can come help you? Can do the things you aren’t able to do.
I live in AZ but am willing to offer my help by calling certain programs etc to help you with what you may need. Please let me know what I can do 😉
I don’t know why but people have changed and not for the better. I thought after all the quarantining and businesses being closed etc people would come together. People would start to care more about each other, but I was sadly mistaken. Those I thought I could count on in my most darkest hours are too busy. I find that so odd, as I’ve never been too busy for anyone who needs help stranger or friend.
Don’t let the f*ckers get you down or run you off YOUR OWN SITE! Life is sucky and hard but we get through it our way with the help of our friends. We get it through by b*tching and venting. We get through it by pulling the covers over our heads. We get through by drinking. You hang in there and do what YOU need to do for YOU! You know you have a lot of friends here rooting for you and pulling for you. You are loved.
PS – Agree about the WLS.
You got this Tamara!
We need you. We love you.
We want to help and be supportive.
Let the others go kick rocks.
Hugs
I AM an old alcoholic! Granted, I’m sober now at 71, quit 2 years ago. Well, California sober anyway. I’m not JUST an old alcoholic and neither are you. I have many other good qualities and accomplishments and so do you. I come here every day to read your insightful, funny, and personal posts. You’ve created a thriving community here and that’s outstanding work.
I’m the last to judge whether you have a drinking problem or not. You do you and drink whenever you want. I quit because I had some bad falls and my husband of 30 years got himself a girlfriend because “I drove him away with my drinking.” I quit drinking and filed for divorce. Now I’m alone and went from devastated to looking forward to my new life.
Lisa, you’re awesome.
TT, have you ever tried CBD? I take CBD gummies daily and it changed my life. My stress level is more controlled. The ache in my knee and my body aches in general disappeared. I have more energy, and I sleep more soundly. I have it shipped to me and I take it religiously. Once I stopped taking it for a couple of months, and the body aches came back, along with the anxiety. I’m back on it again, and I will make sure I never run out of it! I highly recommend it!
Victoria G,
Can you give me a few details about the CBD? For example, how much and how often?
I’m interested in trying it.
Thank you! 🙏
Barb
Hi Barb!
It’s great! I take 3-6 sour bear gummies every day.The gummies are 100% CBD, which means it doesn’t have the THC, which is what makes you high and/or paranoid. It’s also the reason you can have it shipped pretty much anywhere in the country. It just gives you a feeling of well-being. I purchase mine from Diamond CBD (google it). I get the maximum strength Yum Yum Gummies Sour Bears. You have to take them consistently to get the most benefit.
I had been on anti-depressants for years, and once you get on them, it’s hard to get off. But I was able to wean myself off of them by taking the CBD. It also lessens body aches.
I highly recommend it!
Thank you Victoria!!
I also am on antidepressants (as are most people I know). And at my age, 67, various aches and pains.
I’m going to try the CBD.
(I live in Nashville now, but when I lived in Colorado, I tried THC for sleep help. It did help but also made me barf in the middle of the night. So done with that).
Tamara I need your help and advice asap … please come back so I can be a selfish cunt and ask for you … I don’t even mind if this happens in email Xx