So because you are all my friends, I need this open forum. This should probably have been a private email to JustJenn who, btw, is the nicest person in the world. She recently sent me A LOT of groceries. We talked a bit of what I needed. First of all, It seems you can send me beer and wine. I just have to show my ID to the super cute delivery guy who could be my grandchild. And he did some kind of thing with a barcode on the back of my ID. That was sort of freaky. I mean what is in there?
But I had wine for the first time in months. And may or may not have bought a very expensive thing and annoyed the holy fuck out out my gay husband. Not to be confused with my gay boyfriend Marc with a C. Sorry, I am not sure he knew about being marriedish.
So there was some …or a lot of extra stuff. Jenn sent me a dozen eggs. I get this is sort of a staple, But what do I do with a dozen eggs? Can I tell you a little story about my best friend Leslie? Leslie was 11 and I was six. My mother hated her. For one she was CANADIAN. I never really got what was wrong with CANADIANS other than the fact the were not southern Baptists. At any rate she didn’t like Leslie or her whole entire family. I get it, where the fuck are you going with this story Well Leslie taught me a lot of things like “if we don’t start using our toes we won’t have toes anymore (something about evolution).And then she told me that eggs where EMBRYOS and went into eleven year old details. SEE? I GOT THERE! So that is why I don’t eat eggs.
HOWEVER if I had a pie crust. Hmm I do have a tiny can of biscuits… So what do i do with all of these embryos?
Also there are little bitty bottles of some hippy dippy shit. Something about digestion I think? It looks very expensive. And where the fuck is this shit in my hillbilly Publix? Anyway, it took me a bit to get it all put away. To be honest I still have the canned stuff to put away. I don’t have much energy these days and I sleep more than I am awake.
But Just Jenn is very, very, very kind.
So what should do with all these eggs?