First, thanks to everyone for the love and attention (which clearly I shamelessly asked for) in my poor pitiful me post. Most of you have been very kind. It’s great to have a tribe. I’m super excited about this Below Deck Down Under Recap. The problem is that Spectrum lists them as reruns since the show aired on Peacock first. It took me a minute to figure out when the “new” episode was. The other problem is that so many of my readers have some sort of allergy to shows set in other countries. We learned this with Ladies of London. That was a great show that we lost. Dubai is not pulling ratings either. We have the everso hot Captain Jason now, and crickets.
I get that some people have already seen the whole season, but even they are commenting (without spoiling anything). But, this recap is for the few of us who know a good show when we see one and realize there are actually other countries in the world. Also Bravo gives us NO PHOTOS.
Good GRIEF! I am watching AGT while waiting for this show and crying over every act. WTF is wrong with me? (Don’t answer that). Snap out of it Tamara! Oh God, now it is a Ukrainian woman who is performing for her father who is fighting on the front line. I can’t. stop. CRYING. My mama would bitch slap me into next week for this stupidity. Finally, it is time for the “new” episode. We start with Jaime trying to get Benny and his reluctance to work under control. Benny guesses that Jaime used to be a cop. He’s right. But who cares? Just do your damn job or get fired, Benny! Captain Jason picked up the whole tab for the night out in absentia. Hot and generous. I need to move to Australia whenever I get off this couch of shame!
Back on the boat it is a night of hot tubbing. I keep zoning out because I still don’t know who is who quite yet. I miss being young and hot. It’s true youth is wasted on the young. Suddenly, the guys are all pissed because almost all the girls have boyfriends. Um, that sounds like a guy problem. Actually apparently two of the girls are single. Just not the ones that the douchebag was trying to get with. I think it might have been Jaime. Yes, it was Jaime.
Captain Jason Is NOT HAPPY
The boat is a disaster the next morning and Captain Jason is cleaning things up himself. He’s PISSED. He sets off a “general alarm.” He reams everyone out. At the preference sheet meeting he tells them that if they make a mess of the boat they have to clean it up BEFORE going to bed. But, this never happens on any franchise. IJS. The guests are erotic dancers and one couple wants to renew their vows. They all seem to work in the adult entertainment world. They want a pirate themed party. Um, WHY? They like Vietnamese food. What even is that?
I feel like I must have confused Ryan with the chef from Below Deck Med. It’s this one who is the asshole. Apologies. As Rush Limbaugh (I know, I know I listen to talk radio in the car. I just want to hear someone talk, sometimes I listen to NPR instead. Depending on my blood pressure. 🙂 Plus, I like to know what the other side could possibly be saying. I don’t think he is even on anymore. He may have died for all I know. Anyway, my point is and I am kind of remember it, “I am doing this recap with half my brain tied behind my back.” Or I am using whatever brain cells I have left to do it. Apologies. Moving on.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THE SCANDALOUSLY HIGH BRAVO CON TICKETS FOR ALL THREE DAYS SOLD OUT IN HOURS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU COULD FLY TO PARIS FOR THAT!
The Strippers… I Mean Guests Arrive It’s Like Trying To Herd Really Horny CATS!
There seems to be a big crew on this show. I hope we get to see Daz nekkid. He’s HOT. They are all literally humping everything on the boat. It’s kind of hysterical. Brittini is really stepping up as a deckhand. She is over Benny and his whining. So, is Captain Jason who is fucking with him. Benny is such a whiner. And after all my recent whining I know a whiner when I see one. 🙂 Also, Captain Jason is a bit of a micromanager. He should probably step back and let Jaime lead the deck crew. He’s giving me Captain Yawn vibes at this point.
Next, Captain Jason wants to give some of the stews a chance to go out on the water with the guests. That’s a new thing! There are so many sharks out there these days (CLIMATE CHANGE IS A REAL THING) I can barely enjoy the scuba diving scenes. Culver gets a phone call from home. Then, Captain Jason tells the stews who got to go to wrap a towel around their asses that are hanging out in their bathing suits. LOL. He is also washing down the board they used. Shouldn’t he be minding the ship?
It’s Dinner Time
One of the guests is hitting on Ryan hard. Why? He’s making pizza for dinner? That not Vietnamese. Jamie is over Benny and his insubordination. He is more concerned about his hair than answering his walkie. It seems that Ryan is also making Singapore street noodles. Um still not Vietnamese? Meanwhile, I feel like Captain Jason is Captain Yawn on steroids when it comes to micromanaging. Chef Ryan doesn’t seem to understand he needs to communicate with the chief stew.
The renewal of the vows was lovely. Benny continue to whine. I mean I am not one to judge but he is whining about being a deckhand on a TV show. COME ON, DUDE. Everything went great. UNTIL… Something happens with the … Toilets? I dunno but there is water everywhere. Tamara and Vicki are on WWHL if it taped I will recap it tomorrow. It’s been kind of long day over here