I am so not ready for back to back recaps tonight. I wish they would spread out them out over two nights. The good news is after being down for a bit, my DVR stuff is slowly starting to come back. It still doesn’t show the show names, they are all TBA, but I am currently watching Big Brother while preparing for this Below Deck Med recap. So YAY! The bad news I still feel like shit and am popping Motrin and aspirin for pain and small but annoying fever. However, I am starting to see a teeny bit of relief with the back pain. It’s been a long week.
ANYWAY. This season of Below Deck Med has an almost entirely new cast. Captain Yawn has her a new female bosun, Raygan. There is another female deckhand, Storm, and a guy named Jason who seems pissed already he is the only male deckhand. But, MZI is coming he’s just stuck in Maltese quarantine. I’d love to be in a Maltese quarantine, I’m just saying. American’s living in Libya when I did went to Malta a lot. They all speak English and have some American candy. They also have good medical care and dentists. It’s pretty. And the teenagers got American music and posters for their rooms there. Oh and Captain Yawn, I’m pretty sure the mega yachts have been there since the 70s.
Our Chief Stew Natasha, is friends with the Chef Dave. Is Ragan wearing a wig? I don’t really get all the girly hair stuff. So, I am just asking. It seems like Jason is not going to do well as a deckhand working for a female bosun. I guess that is why he was hired. The boat is really nice even the crew quarters. Wel fuck. There are two girls who were apparently born as identical twins and one was given away and they don’t know it. This is going to suck for me. The crew deck is down two until after the guests arrive. I love Kyle already. The guests are wanting JAPANESE FOOD, and some drag queens. Natasha and Dave are roomies. There are EIGHT! crew members.
What The Hell With Raygan?
It’s literally day one and Raygan hasn’t done shit. She already sucks as a bosun. Now some of the drama makes sense. They are down TWO DECKHANDS and Raygan is constantly on shore texting people. She’s going to be a problem that will probably not last the season at this rate. I already hate her. Even Captain Yawn goes to help him carry in a large carpet of some sort. Raygan can’t carry any suitcases. Jason is already annoyed and I don’t blame him. I already can tell the chef is the usual arrogant type, but he seems highly qualified.
Even the obnoxious guest are pissed at Raygan. They complain to Captain Sandy who actually tries to pitch in. Now that I am not a waitress anymore, I kind of love asshole chefs. Jesus. Some fucktard in the hood has a fucking motocross bike or something with no muffler. They have literally just been joy riding around the block for days. IT’S SOFA KING ANNOYING. Finally, Mzi and Storm? arrive. The primary is a dickhead who keeps sending food back. I generally order my steaks a bit on the well side than I want and it works out fine. I’m more in the medium family. My parents ordered everything well done so it took me a while to evolve. I remember spending a night with my friend and Mama asked what was for dinner. She seemed displeased when I said steak. My parents were depression babies so I am kind of a miser too.
The Table Settings Are GREAT!
And as we all know that is what Captain Yawn focuses on. Raygan continues to take smoke breaks. Mzi and Storm tackle the mess she didn’t bother to deal with. Uzi and Storm have know each other since childhood. Drag queen arrives, she is better than I expected, death drop and all. That said you are on a boat and can ask for pretty much anything, and you ask for a drag queen? Natasha and Dave may be a bit more than friends. Especially by the end of the season. They kiss.
Captain Yawn is starting to get Raygan sucks. She doesn’t have a watch schedule, she is not getting the toys out. Or the tinder. Then everything goes to hell. Something about stabilizers malfunctioning and shit is flying everywhere. I need Dramamine just watching this. Even the crew is screaming. On to the next… recap.