YAY! It’s time for a RHODubai Recap! I love this show but it is really hard to recap because I only know two people so far Chanel Ayan, (who they call Ayan) and Caroline Standbury. I think Nina might be my favorite, but I still am not 100% which one she is. Or maybe it is Nina, I dunno. Let’s try to figure this out together.
It’s fashion week in Dubai. That world be a great time for me to visit depending on when it is. Lesa is doing her own fashion show for her maternity line. It is her first fashion show and she is expanding her row, Nina Roe, to include non-maternity wear. Ayan is there to be her muse and help her pick models.
Meanwhile, Caroline Stanbury is taking her kids to the Atlantis hotel. That’s the place with a huge aquarium wall in every room. It’s very fancy or as LVP’s former designer would say, Chi-chi-chi or is it She-she-she? You get the point. Caroline is having a slumber party with one of the pretty brunettes (which hardly helpful. I am going to guess it’s Nina and I’ll trying to confirm that later. Caroline tells Nina that people think she is standoffish because she has social anxiety and hates small talk. My God at the amount of food in this hotel suite. Whoever this is, they are besties. Caroline’s fifteen year old daughter arrives and makes it clear to her mother she doesn’t want any more siblings especially a baby Sergio. She says he already acts like a manchild. I think I am going to love Yasmine.
Ayan, Brooks and Lesa go out to a nice restaurant. Ayan brings lemons in a big pot to give to Brooks when she arrives because she is so bitter. Lesa seems to have her housewives Chanel earring on the wrong ears. Too bad Dorit is not there to help her. Lesa tells us that she did manage to find her goat after posting it on the Dubai version of NextDoor. Which was a good thing because there was a panther on the loose. Say what? How would a panther get to Dubai? And why? Someone’s pet maybe?
Making Lemonade From Lemons?
Brooks arrives and takes it well. I feel like she took lemons to Caroline Stanbury as well. Where is she getting all these lemons? This lunch is very awkward between Brooks and Ayan. They had a falling out at the dinner with all the ladies when Brooks supposedly called her to let her know Stanbury didn’t think she was important enough to be invited to her party. She had her first panic attack. Brooks claims she said that Caroline was only inviting people who were important TO HER. Ayan was quite hurt by the exclusion either way.
Lesa tells Brooks that Caroline owes her an apology. Good GRIEF! Does everyone on this season have to have six or seven wigs an episode! I GO BY HAIR! Unless you have a third eyeball or a giant mole, I can’t recognize you in a new wig! GRRR! They end the whole debate with Ayan making a toast, “Wakanda For Life!” Um okay. Moving on.
They are wearing long sleeves to the fashion show fittings so apparently fashion week is in winter. PERFECT. I am already thinking about buying gold bangles. The problem is I can ask how much something is but I can’t understand the answer. Numbers over ten are hard y’all! Sara, who is stunningly beautiful used to be in the fashion world but now owns four tech companies, a skin care company and ten other companies. Um, one dinky website takes up ALL of my time. How do people do this??? Today she is doing a fashion suit for something.
Caroline Stanbury is partners with a cosmetic surgery place in Dubai. It looks super high end. She is paid to advertise their treatments. Brooks is tagging along for the day. Caroline Stanbury is in for a tune up for her wedding. She suggested Brooks come along for some body work. While Stanbury is getting her work done, Brooks recounts every second of her luncheon with “her friend” Ayan. She also says that Lesa says that Stanbury needs to apologize to Ayan. Stanbury says hell will freeze over first. Then,Brooks has some thing attached to her already flat tummy and starts screaming! She’d rather be “fat”! LOL.
Husband Or Manchild?
Caroline talks about Yasmine and her sons relationship with Sergio. To me it looks like they are playmates. We got a quick glimpse of the goat in a montage of the houses! THAT IS THE STAR OF THE SHOW! Lesa and her three sons are adorable. Lesa takes a taxi. I read an article recently that the taxis are cheap, but unless you are going to a major attraction, the driver probably will not know how to get there because they are all foreigners who turn over quickly.
We have that in the US too. The Yellow Store, my corner store has people from another country I have forgotten. It’s not India, but maybe someplace like Pakistan? When I asked they didn’t really want to tell me. The go home after about three years and then I have to fall in love with new friends all over again. 🙁 They also are very fluent in English and Spanish, and of course their native language. I imagine they speak at least five or six languages. I should try French or Arabic next time. 🙂
Lesa’s Big Fashion Show
Everyone is coming to the fashion show except for Stanbury. She texted the day of the fashion show, that she can’t make it, because she is too busy preparing for her wedding. She can be such a bitch. Lesa’s husband seems like a great support system. Why are these women so obsessed with French fries? IDGI!
Behind the seasons, there is a lot of chaos. But, on the runway everything is lovely. It was a great show that showcased all sizes. Or “supersized” as Ayan calls plus sizes. The fashion show was a big hit! She cries during her interview because she was so proud of the outcome. She is so cute. The women finally get French fries and want Ketchup. That may be a bit harder in Dubai. Everyone celebrates with Lesa after the show. Switch to Caroline Stanbury doing absolutely nothing but drinking champagne with Sergio.
This was a great episode. Next week Caroline forgets her lies about why she could not be bothered to attend the fashion show. Lesa’s supportive husband, suddenly is not so supportive and he controls the finances. One of them, wants to open a spa and salon. Stanbury has a fight with Sergio and when Lesa supports Sergio, Stanbury tells him that he hopes Lesa is going to suck his did. Good Grief. Have I just forgotten how awful Stanbury was? I‘m putting this link here to remind me of Ladies of London and my thoughts.
WWHL Mini Recap
As I was stealing pulling Twitter pictures, I discovered that Kyle was drinking a bit too much on WWHL and said the word FUCK on live TV. She doesn’t get drunk that often so I am going to go take a look. That was the 250th episode of RHOBH! WOW! Crystal is the drinking word. Maybe that is why Kyle and Chloe both seem to get drunk. The bartender is a hot dog trainer. VERY HOT.
Everyone is on Sutton’s side, by 76% over Crystal. I thought it would be higher than that. Kyle already seems a little punchy as she goes in on Crystal for lying about Sutton. She says Crystal is a rookie that didn’t realize production would show the flashbacks. Then, she came on WWHL and lied again saying it was something much worse. Kyle says NOPE! If Sutton had said anything worse, it would have been show because production does them no favors. BOOM! Only 56% are on Sutton’s side over Dirty Diana. These aren’t real fans who know the truth. YET!
We Move On To RHODUBAI
The poll question is “Is Caroline Stanbury Standoffish” 88% say yes. Andy asks Kyle if she has met her. She said she bumped into her only one time and lent her a jacket she never got back from her. YIKES! She is letting it all out tonight. Ayan wins over Stanbury with the fans. Kyle loves Ayan as well. Kyle says she is not upset with Rinna coming for Kathey because it is something that plays out on the show. WOW so she did say racist and homophobic comments in Aspen. Kyle says the situation between Garcelle and Kathy is off the show and coming on WWHL and saying she was closer with Kathy than she was is a whole different thing.
Kyle says the situation with Rinna and Kathy is complicated and she is not looking forward to the upcoming reunion. It sounds like she will be backing Rinna over her sister. Chloe says that Kyle made her get drunk. Chloe also points out that Lexapro wipes out your sex drive, not enhance it. I love this Chloe chick. I think they said she is or was on SNL. That show has gotten so bad. I used to watch the host opening bit and then FF to Weekend Update but even that sucks now or did last episode. Kyle points out she did not bring glam to Punta Mita.
UT OH! IT’S SHOTSKI NIGHT!
I have so much to say about this epic episode of WWHL! And the trolls are coming for my girl Kyle on social media! Kyle says that Erika was trying to get back at Sutton for her discussions about the NYT piece last year. I love Chloe’s very nasally impression of Erika. This episode is EVERYTHING. Finally, something worth watching on this ratchet little show. <<< Must see link! Apparently, Erika is saying she can’t pay her taxes but she has the full glam squad every week. Actually, they are probably a tax write off for her. Kyle says for her entire twelve years on the show she has never brought a glam squad.
Andy says, “Okay! She turned it into a pat on the back for herself. Kyle screams FUCK YOU! At Andy and immediately has this reaction!
Kyle is also pissed with Andy showing clips from everyone’s audition tapes. She says it is embarrassing. Andy literally says, “This is what’s embarrassing?” It was right after Kim’s tape when she called someone a fat cow for insulting Paris. DID I MENTION HOW GOOD THIS EPISODE IS? Kyle then randomly apologizes for saying the F word again. She’s dying inside.
Sorry this took so long. I am almost at 2,000 words. The whole hour and a half was AMAZING! I might not even delete it! Chloe does great impressions. Andy’s Mazel goes to Kyle who is the only full time housewife to have appeared on all 250 episodes.
UPDATE! Andy Cohen reveals that Kyle had a breast reduction on the After Show! I wish I had the never to get one. Kyle says she will never wear a bra again! Damn this was a long, but exciting recap. Thanks to all of you who made it through all two thousand words. And if like most of the RHOBH you didn’t, you can still count on Sutton to give you the key points. She’s really good at breaking down long articles for her friends who don’t have that much staying power. 🙂