It’s going to be a busy night! First, we have a RHOBH recap and they are in La Quinta so you know things have only begun to heat up. Then, immediately after it’s the premiere of Real Housewives of Dubai. What is the abbreviation we going to use for that? RHOD is already taken (even though it was cancelled). It seems it will be #RHODubai. I can’t seem to type a single sentence these days that doesn’t have a missing word, or a random word other than the word I meant to type. My brain is disintegrating every day along with the rest of my body. 🙁 Well, I am ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s get started!
Erika Goes Off The Deep End
Did Lisa Rinna just compare her mother’s encounter with a serial killer to Dorit’s “robbery”? Yes. Yes she did. Then, Erika tells Rinna hold my beer! And starts saying that the victims, orphans and widows could all be lying about not receiving their money. She also say she was not allowed to have empathy for them according to her lawyers because “every word counts.” But she can say that they might be lying? Girl, shut up! BTW the preview for last week was actually the preview for this week. So, I pulled photos from the same preview twice. I hate whoever runs the Bravo website. They are completely incompetent! Garcelle is completely shocked she could say that about the widows and orphans.
Finally, Crystal arrives to break up all of this nonsense. But first, we check in with Sutton and Dirty Diana. Sutton has ordered brunch that is big enough for a football team. It sounds like she is going to take the rest of it home with her. These two seem oddly cordial today. Back with Crystal tries to explain what triggered her the night before. She cries. She feels like last year during the coat incident with Sutton, everyone invalidated her feeling of being violated. It felt like everyone was attacking her. She feels like her feelings are always dismissed. Kyle says that she is a fixer. Everyone else thinks Kyle stirs the pot. Crystal says that Sutton said some really dark things to her. But she won’t say what is was. Garcelle’s son Oliver just called to tell her he got a job working for LVP. YIKES!
Back To Beverly Hills…
Dorit and PK talk about Dorit’s “trauma” and he suggests she and the girls go on a trip for a few days to Punta Mita, Mexico. Didn’t they just come back from one? ! If I was a mother, and a robber had been in my house holding a gun to my head. You could not peel me off my children for quite a while. Let along leave them to go on two back to back girls trips! I also would not leave my kids to go to a party. But, it seems that she is going to do all of the above.
Sutton is excited to have her fashion party featuring looks by Alexis Mabille, a French designer. Meanwhile, Alexia is telling her glam squad that she has never been to a store before. She just went to Kyle’s store a few days ago and said the same thing. She is a liar who lies. Also, there are so many famous people praising her on social media. Mostly men. It’s sickening. How can they not know her background. RHOBH watchers dug up all her dirt immediately. Allegedly, she was a sex trafficker and a madam. That fills in a lot of holes about her rags to riches story.
Lisa Gets The News That Lois Had A Stroke
Rinna texted Dorit of all people to tell her that she won’t be going to Sutton’s party because her mother had a stroke? Is that really who she is closest too? Dorit and Kyle ride to the party together and Kyle gets a text that there is a man at her house taking photos over her fence. That’s scary. Erika is not going to Sutton’s party. I am sure that Sutton is relieved. It makes no sense that these two would want to even be around each other. Good and Evil don’t mix well. Yet they still film with Erika. Dorit and Kyle arrive at the party and Dorit is pissed that Sutton invited the press. Really? Sutton has to stop doing PR because of Dorit?
Has Crystal always been so tall or is she wearing super high heels? Kyle starts stirring the pot. Then Garcelle tells her to watch her back with Crystal. I hate Sutton’s backwards coat dress, couture or not. Kyle and Garcelle try to get Crystal to say what Sutton says. Then, Sutton shows up. She tries to just put the past behind them and move on. But, Kyle won’t stop stirring the pot. What is going on with my girl this season? Then, Dorit and Diana show up to the fight. Diana is busy fixing her fugly dress, but Dorit jumps right in the middle. Crystal says that she and Sutton have resolved the issue. Why is that not enough for everyone else?
I can’t even with Dorit and the therapist. It’s all bullshit. Dorit is a bad actress. Almost Amber Heard bad. But she does produce tears.