90 Day Fiance Recap: Three Episode Catch Up!

Y’all, I am so behind on 90 Day Fiance Recap and still not feeling that great. So I’m just going to rely on the Sidebar post for views today and take it slow. Y’all got me hooked on this show but you seem to not be that interested anymore. I’ve honestly already forgotten who is who on this show except for Ari and Beni.  I want see the guy get to see his son for the first time, and how that one girl deals with being picked up in a white work van and taken to a house that needs a lot of improvements as a “joke.” It’s more like a test. I’d be pissed. So, let’s get to it.

Ariela & Biniyam

Oh now I am excited. It’s finally time to take Bini to America. I love how baby Avi is such a great traveler. I think Ari is taking the nanny with here! The drama between Ari and Wish goes on to this day. You can catch up on what is going on in real time here. As you can imagine her version of events is very different than what we saw on TV. It’s also interesting but also kind of weird. Bini is upset that  Ari won’t come to the goodbye lunch with his family. I know she is a bitch. But, I kind of agree with her on this one. Finally, we get back to these two. Bini and Avi go to lunch with his family. They are all crying.

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It’s finally time for them to get on the plane. Ari doesn’t let them kiss Avi goodbye. Again, I don’t blame her. I do feel really sorry for the sisters. I know what it is like when your brother leaves and gets married and moves away to start his own life. Oh, they have to leave the nanny behind. Ari cries. They don’t even sit next to each other on the plane? They are across the aisle and Bini has Avi? When does Ari take care  of the baby and braid her own hair? They finally arrive in NYC. Bini still has Avi. He doesn’t seem to mind a bit. Her parents meet them at the airport. They also rented an expensive for them and expect them to take over a rent and utilities. Ari is already stressed.

Bini Has Dreams And Ideas

Bini wants to be an MMA fighter. At least she takes Bini to see her hometown. She just drives him around telling him how rich the people are there. Bini wonders why she would bring him to a place they can’t afford to live in. So much for her financial planning skills. I think she expected her parents to pay for everything. These two decide to take a train to NYC for the day without the baby. Bini is super excited. He absolutely loves it there. She should take him to a Broadway Musical with lots of dancing. He didn’t know what a water fountain was. This is fun to watch kind of like that Crocodile Dundee movie. They get a couple beers at a restaurant and now he wants to move to NYC.

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Ari is stressed because her ex paid for everything and now  she has to figure how to support herself, Bini, and Avi. She’s used to her parents or her ex paying for everything. Bini begs her not to ruin his day. But, she doesn’t care. Then, she says maybe we should not get married.

Kobe & Emily

Speaking of bitches, Emily refused to let Kobe see his son until they got a hotel room for the night to have sex. I hope she was using protection. She can’t afford the first baby and now she is financially responsible for an adult as well. Kobe is sobbing before he even goes into the house. They make us wait until the end of the episode to see him meet his son. Kobe breaks down crying hysterically. He hasn’t even gotten to hold him yet. She breastfeeds him and she smacks his hand away when he was trying to touch his son’s feet! Who does that! He is touching his son for the first time!

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Okay, I am on to the second of three two hour episodes! This is going to take all night! Kobe freaks out because Emily is still breastfeeding at 17 months and she does it in front of her whole family. Seventeen months is a long time to breastfeed. But most people in the US think two years is about as long as you should go. Still, a small percentage breastfeed until KINDERGARTEN! I say when they have teeth, it’s time to stop. So they had their first blow up on his first day at the house. Later that day, Emily and her father tell him to help her mother with cooking while Emily sits on her fat ass. Who treats guests in your home this way?

For The Love Of God Put Away Your Tits

Look, I am all for breastfeeding in public, around your family, wherever your baby needs to eat. However, Emily’s tits are literally always hanging out. Kobe still hasn’t gotten to hold his kid. They are all having dinner at the table and her tits are just hanging out. No blanket no nothing. And she doesn’t seem to change diapers or do anything but breast feed and then pass him off, but not to Kobe. Then, Emily complains about her fake engagement ring. Later, she keeps bitching at Kobe not to get him wound up before bed. Does the boy not have a crib? Does she plan to sleep with the baby and her husband in the same small bed? That is VERY dangers for infants! Then she throws Kobe out of bed.

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Thais & Patrick

I haven’t seen this couple before. Patrick is former weightlifter who can no longer compete do taking banned drugs. So, now I just he is just a meathead. She was briefly married previously to a female weightlifter. After she left him, he was all alone in a big house and moved his brother in with him. He seems to have money from somewhere so it was only a matter of time some hot Brazilian girl got her hooks in him. Can you tell I don’t see this working at all? But she is moving in in a week. Le Sigh. The two lovebirds talk FaceTime. She hears his guy friends getting rowdy while playing some type of game. She quickly lays down the rules. No parties in her house. She wants to kick his Brother out of the house. He knows better at least.

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Patrick and John go out for drinks. They both work for the same security company. He sells security systems door to door. Who still goes door to door anymore. Thais has Patrick on a tracker on her phone. She is not going to like this bar outing. Patrick is the one who told him how to locator. He also shows her his home security tapes. He’s also not allowed to train new female reps. Well, this will go well. Patrick bought Thais a puppy. He’s adorable. But I’m not sure Thais will feel that way. She isn’t planning on telling her dad she is moving. She is telling him she’s going on a trip.

These two go on a tour of the town before heading to the house. They share a champagne toast with John who is trying to be nice. And then they go straight to bed and suggest he turns on the TV, loud. The next morning, Patrick makes her breakfast. John is playing video games and having a breakfast beer. She is offended by the beer. It’s HIS HOUSE. You are going to have to learn to deal. Then, she is pissed that Patrick made John breakfast as well. John made a steak to go with the eggs. When he tries to flip it, it misses the pan and lands on the floor. He thinks they should still eat it. So do it.

Thais Arrives with Many Demands

She hasn’t even made it to the house yet and she is already bitching about his brother living there. In a talking head she says if it doesn’t work out she will go back to Brazil “no problem.” Seriously, how many red flags do these people need? The three of them go out to play mini-golf. Patrick is hoping this with bring John and Thais closer together. John is drinking a lot and getting nasty with Patrick. Then, they both start crying. They hug it out. Progress?

Miona & Jibri

These two are already married and apparently have been for two years before the show. This whole storyline is bullshit. All she wants is to meet the Kardashian and have a beach wedding. She doesn’t seem that into him. She also joined Cameo after the season ended. She is very materialistic. She is helpless. Miora doesn’t cook or clean and she makes Jibri make her breakfast. She also doesn’t want to unpack. She seems to think she is going to LA. She doesn’t understand that he has no money. But, he has told her that, more or less. Miona is an awful person. Going to a market in another country is so much fun. I could spend hours in there. They needed groceries to make dinner because it is their night to cook. Neither one can cook.

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Miona and his best friend and bandmate, David don’t get along. Their chicken Alfredo is terrible. Miora is stuck at home without Jibri for the first time as he goes out to practice with the band. I thought that when Jibri’s mom came to chat with her, she was going to offer to show her the town. Instead, she wants her to do laundry. Good Grief. She’s a houseguest. She confronts Miona over skimpy clothes. She does tend to run around the house half naked. She says she will think about it. Jibri speaks privately with his mom about the tension in the house. But, he doesn’t seem to be getting it.

Kara & Guillermo

Guillermo has just arrived from Venezuela and Shalanded in Virginia and he is already in love with the south.  He reminds me of when I went to Romania and saw their hay bales. I forget what the look like, but they are not like ours. He didn’t have hot water in his house. He’s in love with hot showers. Now he wants a computer. Kara doesn’t think that is necessary. He doesn’t even know how to use one. She has a computer. But he wants his own so he can flirt with his girlfriends. He’s only 23 and doesn’t understand finances. Or how to feed himself.

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In the most recent episode Kara takes Guillermo out to meet her friends. It’s another interrogation for him. Her friend asks if there is anything about Kara that he doesn’t like. The answer in this situation is no.  But, he is honest and says when she drinks too much and blacks out. WOW. There is some news.  But, this is something they needed to talk about privately when there are no cameras or others around. She responds with “I usually remember the beginning of it.” She continues to justify it in their talking head. Apparently, they both go through each other’s phone.

Shaeeda & Bilal

I forgot I already saw these two move in to the real house. Bilal’s family is coming to meet Shaeeda, his mother, sister and brother. It’s day two! Can you give Shaeeda a little time to breath? Dude! It starts off okay. But, then the conversation of children comes up. This is their big point of disagreement. She is loving the fancy house though. Later, she meets Bilal’s kids. They are cute and polite. I’m sure he is thinking this will be enough for her. They ask her if she wants kids and things get tense. That Friday they go to the Muslim worship service. They argue all the way there because Bilal is being a dick. Then, when she pats in on the head and tells him to stop, he threatens to pull over and call her an Uber.

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And then he pulls over. I would take the Uber straight home, pack my shit and get on the next plane home to Trinidad. He really doesn’t treat her well. Shaeeda feels like she is constantly being lectured by Bilal and she has no voice. Bilal is too old for this kind of crap. It seems like he thinks he bought a wife and now he can treat her any kind of way. He’s an asshole and she needs to get on the next plane out.

Yve & Mohamed

Mohamed is pissed that he has to cook his own breakfast. He has no idea how to do that. His mother catered to his every need in Egypt. Welcome to America, kid. Then, he tries to install his bidet. I have no faith in him for this task. He’s not a man, he is a man child. To be fair, it does look complicated. He was quick to give up on the task. Yve finally comes home with her son, Theron, who has multiple special needs. Theron loves Mohamed. And vice versa it seems. It’s nice the two brothers get along. She plans for Mohamed to babysit him every day. While Mohamed likes the kid, he doesn’t want to be a stay at home dad. And Theron is a kid that needs lots of attention and a medical nurse would be more appropriate.

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A few days later, Yve hires someone to install the bidet. But Mohammed gets pissed because his woman is not allowed to be in the house with another man. He is home and so is the kid. What do you think is going to happen? Do you want the bidet or not?  Yve is already concerned about this relationship.