I’m trying to get through the latest elementary! school shooting. But, I’m not well. First of all the Sandy Hook killer killed his mother before killing children. This piece of shit killed his grandmother before this rampage. He clearly wanted to be like the first scumbag.
I had nightmares last night about my former students who I all still remember as my babies. One of them is my neighbor and she is a full grown adult now. It’s so crazy. I also sometimes get hugs from former students when I am at the grocery store. I am really bad with names so it is very confusing especially now that they are all adults. I think of them all as being seven or eight. In my nightmares I am at the school next door when it happens to a particular cast, hell they might be jumbled up I don’t know I just know they were MY kids. I spent way more time with them than their parents.
Parent conferences, especially with my hispanic parents were in disbelief when I told them their kids were angels. I had rules. I also allowed them to write in their journals at any time during the day. This is how I knew what was on their minds. They could miss any lesson the wanted to as long as they were writing or drawing in their journals. Most kids paid attention to the lesson. The ones who did not an chose to journal had very sad stories about their home life. But they would eventually join the class. At that age girls against the boys was a big hit so they wanted to represent their gender. Except for my one kid who was genetically a boy but always went to the girls team. And no one cared.
I just can’t imagine. Even back then we did lockdown practice and I had to explain to my kid what to do and where to go if a “bad guy” came in. It was heartbreaking. How do you tell 7 year olds they may not be safe in their classroom? Sorry I am blathering. I had nightmares all night probably because I slept with CNN on. Today, I can’t even drink water without throwing it up immediately. It’s a thing I inherited from my father. He would throw up in a crisis too. Y’all know I have a beautiful niece who had a very bad allergic reaction to a childhood vaccine and has been having grand mal seizures ever since. My daddy could not handle it and would be in the bathroom throwing up. It’s really hard to watch. And it still happens frequently.
I just need a minute. I am so not interested in trying to recap RHOBH. I may get to it later. If I am still awake I may watch some of the Survivor finale because I need a break. I doubt I will make it through all three hours. But, I’ll be really pissed if I get spoiled.
I just want to lie down and not feel the pressure of recapping. I might put up a RHOBH discussion post or something in between vomiting. And tomorrow after I finish Survivor ( I already know I can’t make it through tonight). I just need some sleep. I promise to try to catch up tomorrow but I also don’t want to miss the trial. 🙁
Thanks for hopefully understanding we all need a mental health day here and there. I haven’t been able to take my depression meds today because I am throwing up a lot.
Thanks for hanging in with me. xo ~tt