MAFS Australia Recap : Catching Up

Tamara & Brent

I am literally eight episodes behind on MAFS Australia Recaps and have no set ups, so it will probably take me the weekend to get caught up. So this recap is just going to be things that stand out for me. Mostly that I hate Tamara and that is the couple we are starting with. Tamara screamed like a mad person in the middle of their honeymoon night. She was apparently having a nightmare. Also, MAFSA has an obscene amount of tattoos every season? I’m not a fan. Maybe she is getting better. Maybe she was just super nervous at the reception. Later she tells Brent that her only imperfection is one of her toes is wonky Girl, there are many more egregious ones. But, Brent then says he has a phobia about feet. Sigh.

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These two get the honesty box. It goes well. But, I hate how they say my name. Oh they haven’t even kissed yet. So on his free question, he asks for a kiss. She says yes! But, Tamara cracks up during the kiss. These two watch each other’s audition tapes. Tamara’s is awful. Just like she is. Brent was disgusted. However, he is still all in. Silly boy.

Selin & Anthony

There are ELEVEN couples. And I don’t know who any of these people are just yet. Selin apparently isn’t into Anthony. It seems he makes her feel awkward. He’s trying too hard. But they do seem to have fun on their pottery date. Maybe Whoopi Goldberg will show up. 🙂 But, then Anthony starts playfully throwing clay at her and she had a hissyfit. She has anger issues. But she blames him for being cranky? He is so cute. He should have been paired by someone who is not so hostile. These two go glamping. They are not happy glampers. She says she is not feeling the spark and not feeling protected by him. He feels rejected. He says basically that she is playing it up for the cameras.

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That night they had a huge fight and she took off. She kept goading him and calling him “princess.” She maybe even worse that Tamara. Eventually, he comes back and apologizes to her! And she just makes it all worse. Nothing is her fault. Good for him. He is leaving. When move in day comes they live in separate apartments. For confessions week, they have the letter writing challenge. Anthony goes to Selin’s apartment so they can exchange letters. She reads her letter first. Hers was all about he very difficult delivery of her son and her postpartum depression. For some reason, we did not get to see his letter.

Selina & Cody

Cody has apparently told Selina that he doesn’t find her sexually attractive.  What a dick move. You have known her for five whole minutes. She is beautiful. Cody tries giving her a back massage.

Ella & Mitch

Mitch seems to really be into Ella. Ella is trying to hold out for her three date rule. But, Mitch makes it hard with all of his romantic gestures. Also he is funny. But these two did the deed on the next night. They seem very playful and happy together.

Domenica and Jack

I love these two. They seem very compatible. Mostly because Jack is so easy going. Domenica and Jack have a home cooked dinner. But the Honesty Box is looming on the table. They both feel sexual chemistry with each. Domenica is asked about her insecurities. She has a fear of failure surrounding her failed marriage. Jack’s fear is that someone might just cut and run on him. He is dependable and plans to stick things out until the end. He is worried she will see one thing wrong and turn and run. She was dreading that question. She feels triggered because he thinks she is talking about her two month marriage. He reassures her that is not the case. Jack smooths it all over.

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Holly & Andrew

Holly and Andrew have already done the deed. These two seem good together. Oh no. They got the honesty box. It is about first attraction. He thought she was beautiful. Her question is about sexual attraction to him. She says She is physically attracted; however, she needs to make an emotional connection before having sex. That is a good answer. Except they have already had sex.

When he is asked the same question, he says he is very good at sex. /eyeroll  But, he said that when they had sex she was not “physically there.” He said it was not enjoyable for him because he didn’t feel any intimacy. Basically he told her she is bad in bed. Ut Oh! He just won’t shut up! He says he has had one night stands where his partners were more into him than she was. Brutal!

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Holly is much more able to control her anger and keep the temperature down than I would be. And Andrew just keeps going on and on being a giant asshole. Did he just say he is ENTITLED to good sex? Yes. Yes he did! Followed by, “If I just wanted to get off I could do that by myself.” Obviously, she is hurt. They spent the day apart the next day. Andrew starts to realize that he could have addressed the situation with more finesse. He apologizes.  She forgives him. But, she is not over it. On move in day, he moves to their apartment alone. I think I might have missed the episode where they ended their honeymoon a day earlier than planned. Apparently, he left the honeymoon early. Yet they still moved in.

The Confession Letter

Each partner is tasked to write a confession letter to their spouse. Andrew says that he loves sex and has had nearly 350 partners in the past. For the last seven years he has slept with at least one new partner a week. Holly isn’t as phased as I was. In her confessional letter, she says she was too busy with work to have a child. She is terrified she will never have one. She is worried that her childbearing years are nearing an end. Then, she cries. Andrew was actually kind to her. The next morning things are not going well. Andrew got up at night and slept on the couch.

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Andrew doesn’t want to have kids. He says he doesn’t want to waste her time. She needs to find someone who wants to have kids. That’s fair actually. But then they have to do the photo ranking exercise. She picks Brent as her first choice because that is what she would usually go for. He is hot. She then has to place Andrew. She said he would have been first if he didn’t make her feel so unattractive. He bites back saying that he has been his authentic self. He says she can put him last in the rankings if she’d like. He’s such a dick. He keeps on interrupting her as she tries to speak. When she points that out, he leaves. She says, “GOOD”! She needs to flee from this one. Andrew tells production he is going home.

Olivia & Jackson

On the next episode, these two are getting married. Did I mention there are way too many couples this season? I’m going to TRY and make it brief. Olivia was her father’s caregiver for seven years and he recently died of cancer. It might be too early for to take this risk. Jackson grew up without a father and there were lots of step-fathers in his life. He took care of his sisters. Olivia has had surgery to lose weight. I am already getting the last two weddings confused. Olivia is thrilled he has blue eyes. Really? Olivia’s mom is going to be a problem. She interrogates him. He is a plumber. He seems to be in a bit of financial difficulty. His Mom was not there but wrote a letter. It was very sweet. Why wasn’t she there though?

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Jackson and Olivia seem like a good match, SO FAR. On their honeymoon she talks about her weight loss surgery. Jackson is very understanding. He says she’s a ten! Olivia and Jackson already feel connected. They consummated their marriage.  For confessions week, these two have to watch their audition tapes together. He talks about a man being violent to his mom. He is very protective of his sisters. It was sweet. Jackson cries. Olivia is very understanding.

Sam & Al

Samantha and Al  are the youngest couple, both are in their mid twenties. Way to young to be getting married at first site! Al thinks his best qualities are his body, his smile and his face in general. So, yeah, way to young to get married. He’s not nearly as cute as he thinks he is. He has never been in a relationship or been in love. This will be a disaster. She is too good for Al I already know. Sam knows immediately from his vows that is is too immature to be married. She has a successful career and and he does not. She knows immediately that he is VERY self-absorbed. Sam already has one foot out the door.

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At the reception, his mother only reinforces the fact that he is man child who apparently lives with his mother. He can’t cook or clean and plays video games when he is not working. She cooks for him and packs his lunch every day. I TOLD YOU SO! Why would any “expert” think he was ready to get married?  Of course he wants to know if she is attracted to him. She says she needs more than just looks. He seems confused by that. At least Al seems to want to try to grow into a man. But, can you do that in eight weeks?  Sam wouldn’t kiss him during wedding photos. She seems nervous around him and won’t kiss him on the honeymoon. They are not vibing at all.

Nevertheless, They Move In Together

She has to explain to him how to use a washing machine. Then they get their confessional assignment. They have to put the other brides and grooms in order of who they are most and least attracted to.  Al starts his rankings from worst to first. Again EVERYTHING with this manchild is about looks.It looks like they don’t have each other as a choice. In fact there are only like eight options. Then, they each actually do say where they find each other on the attractiveness scale. She says he is as attractive as Jack, her third or fourth choice. He’s pissed. He put her at the top.

It’s 5 am and I am still recapping. I have three more episodes to get through tomorrow. Stay Tuned.