If it’s Monday then you know it’s Summer House recap time! This reunion looks to be a hot mess. Just like we love! To preface this recap, I will try my best to make it as cohesive as possible. It’s hard with the back and forth. I will forever bow to our fearless leader Tamara for making it look so easy. It’s not.
We begin with everyone arriving. It’s nice of Amanda and Paige to arrive with freshly washed hair. No time to dry and style it? Paige arrives with a full-on stank face that never leaves the reunion. Andy hopes that Paige didn’t take any reunion advice from Craig since he’s not good at them. Paige proves that she is just as bad, or worse, than Craig at reunions. Andy rolls the clip from his visit to the Summer House. He found Paige and Ciara’s room disgusting. No surprise.
Hot Hubb Reunion
We get right into Lindsay’s miscarriage. Andy thanks her for sharing that with us. A viewer asks why Lindsay was slut shamed as the guys skated through with nary a question of who they dated. We see how this reunion will go from the jump. Amanda, Paige and Ciara (with Mya as light backup) against Lindsay. Awesome. Lindsay points out that Luke was single and never questioned. Paige yells “Well Luke didn’t have a miscarriage!”
I’m never one to say so and so should be fired as it’s entertainment, but fuck. Paige needs to be fired. Or demoted. Her ego is so out of control. Amanda pipes up to defend that, because of course. And honestly, I think Amanda had good intentions at one point with Lindsay. I don’t feel like that anymore. She’s up Paige’s ass and is shoveling shit for Paige’s agenda. It’s obvious and it sucks.
Carl Defends Lindsay
Next, Carl steps in to defend Lindsay from the onslaught of attacks from Paige and Amanda (and a little bit from Mya). Carl points out that Lindsay is open and honest on the show. Paige doesn’t share her full life with the show. Paige says “what did YOU do this summer?” Carl tells her that he stayed sober while processing his brother’s death, you spoiled, useless piece of shit. He didn’t add the last part but God I wish he did.
Paige doesn’t know how to process anyone not dropping to her level so she sits there and pouts. Mya and Oliver are still kind of together. Andrea is with Lexi and very happy. Oooh we get a Marshalls commercial starring Danielle and Lindsay! And it’s not that cringe! This is the real reason Paige hates them. Little miss wannabe fashionista didn’t get the Marshalls commercial. I’m cackling.
The Premeditated Gang Up is Real
Ciara still doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. She’s happy in New York. Hopefully crawling out of Paige’s ass is on the list. It’s all the same rehashing stuff. We do learn that Carl told Austen not to come to the Summer House because it looks thirsty to be on three shows. Here’s how I wish it would go. Ciara: Lindsay, I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings in Vermont. I was caught up in Austen but should have had a real talk with YOU, NOT AUSTEN, about it. I’m sorry. Lindsay: Ciara, I’m sorry I took out my hurt feelings on you this summer with Austen. I should have just let him be and went on my merry way. I’m sorry that I hurt you in return. Let’s move on, live our best lives watching Austen’s comeuppance together. But no. More back and forth ensues.
Mya and Alex are astounded that anyone is fighting over Austen. Alex rightfully calls Austen the honda civic of male attractiveness. Lindsay apologizes to Ciara for hurting her. The apology isn’t up to Amanda’s standards so Lindsay does it again and again. Jesus. No apology back from Ciara though. We visit the fight between Danielle and Ciara. Craig says Ciara was mostly pissed that she didn’t get a reaction out of Lindsay. Truth. Luke is completely right when he blames Paige for revving Ciara up into a fight. Paige doubles down and says she would do it again. Perhaps if she has a glass thrown at her she would think differently? Danielle cries. She tells Ciara that she’s grown to hate her for not calling her when the shows aired. She’s super hurt that Ciara threw the glass at her then never called her while it was airing. End scene.
More To Come Next Week
Next week: on the Summer House reunion: More gang ups against Lindsay. Kyle is married to his job, per Amanda. Paige blames Lindsay for the Craig/Krisitn thing somehow. Wow. I have so many feelings! Paige has surpassed Hannah as the worst person on Summer House. Tough competition but she wins. Kyle even seems to be team mean girl. Alex, Andrea and Luke chime in when the gang ups are happening, which I appreciate. But ugh. Let’s discuss more in the comments!