I’m under the weather today. A small fever and I am probably just dehydrated I tend to throw up a lot when under stress and the hosting situation has been a disaster. But, I MIGHT have made some progress today. Anyway, enough about me. On to tonight’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap! We get a hot new recap. I am so pissed that Gabby is gone.
Daisy feels like she failed Gabby. And she is kind of right. She tells Ashley to respect the new stew. Well, that is too little too late Daisy. Is Gary flirting with Daisy ( I have changed the name back and forth because I need to see hair and clothing due to my annoying lack of facial recognition skills. He jokes with her about screwing the new deckhand because his heart is devoted to her. What a fucktoy. I’m more worried about him screwing the new stew. Daisy is a “man down.” So she won’t be taking any breaks this charter. Ashley will be on rooms. Which she sucks at.
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The new deckhand is Barnaby Birkbeck and he has a sexy British accent and is cute a pretty young thing. Maybe I should just call him PYT. LOL. I feel like a perverted old lady. But, I can still look! LOL. Ashley says he has Jesus hair so it is a no for her. First of all, Jesus was likely not white and even in the fake pictures of him his hair looks nothing like Barnaby. But, I am happy she won’t be raping him. He is not quite as cute as I thought. But, honestly all I need is the accent. LOL. He is bunking with the Captain. I hope he is not a puker. He also teaches wakeboarding to the rich and famous.
The New Guests Arrive And I Hate Them Already
The guests arrive and one of the guys calls Captain Glenn a little fella. I already want to smack him in the mouth. Is that wrong? You can tell the level of guest assholery by their amount of luggage. And, I already know these people are assholes. Maybe they will like Ashley, birds of a feather and all that. Their drink orders are already ridiculous now Marcos, has to make bacon and shrimp for a bloody mary. Why can’t they just order a bloody mary? Why is he cooking the bacon on the stove instead of in the oven or microwave? Then they complain about the shrimp not being jumbo. Even if this is a production stunt, these people are going to be DRAGGED!
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Now they want all eleventy billion of their suitcases steamed. If I were not recapping this I would turn it off now. I despise the entitlement of these morons. Now they want six loungers. They are ridiculous! In more personal blathering news I am feeling better and the fever seems to be gone. In more good news, Barnaby seems to be a great deckhand. Gary is already talking about screwing the new stew and how it will piss off Daisy because she is into him. I really, really, hate Gary. What a fuckwad he is. It took Ashley 210 minutes to steam and iron their stupid clothes.
The Anchor Is Dropped
YAY! Maybe we can send them on some water toys and get a break. Or not. Now they want snacks like Clams Casino. Good Lord. Did I mention I want to punch them all in the face. They will never make dinner at ten. They will all be passed out. And they are passed out already But rebounding at 10:30. Bless his heat, Marcos is cooking his heart out. But when he goes out to talk to the guests one of the women has her boob out and he gets flustered. LOL. At least they loved the dinner. Hopefully they will go to bed soon. The booby later wants to hire Marcos for her “personal chef.” I bet she does.
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They want blankets and music in the interior. I want to stab them in their eyeballs. It’s basically a nightmare. One of the guys tries to tip her a hundred euros but she can’t accept it. This is really bad. They don’t go to bed until 3 am Only to have to wake up at early. But the guests sleep in until almost 2 pm. At least toys are out. Wear them out! Gary needs to STFU about Kelsie. She should be lead deckhand. Marcos serves them Japanese sushi. That is not hangover food. I must confess that I often sleep through breakfast when traveling. The hotel I stay at has like two or three bottles of champagne that are always gone by 9am. I am NOT a morning person.
Daisy It At The End Of Her Patience
This one guest keeps requesting a drink that has grape juice. Daisy has repeatedly said they have no grape juice. PICK ANOTHER DRINK DICKWAD! So she has to juice grapes. It is not working. But, the drunk guy loves it. These drunks want dinner at ten but always pass out before dinner. Some people have literally slept all day. So they want dinner at 11pm. Dear Lord. I get it. You chartered a yacht. You want to eat when you want to eat. But the crew has to sleep at some point.
Next week: We get Scarlett a hot blonde stew and Gary is already ready to screw her. And he is concerned that Daisy will be pissed. Ya think? Other than Kelsie, is there anyone he hasn’t screwed?
These guests are totally trashy new money. Maybe that’s all Bravo can get for half price. I did not like the drunk guy putting his hands on Daisy before he threw the money at her. What a wad. This episode has production all over it. Some people really should not drink. When I was in college, we had a saying instant ass just add alcohol. Whatever the tip, it will be like getting filthy money you found in a garbage can under cat litter.
There was a lot that was hard to watch in this episode. The guests were terrible and what a waste of an experience when they are so drunk, they can’t remember eating dinner, WHILE they are eating dinner! Kelsie looked like she tried to get that little sailboat thing onto the pier, but unfortunately the pin was still over water. I felt so bad for Daisy — she handled them well and so politely the whole time. The grape juice scene was pretty funny — tell them European grapes are sweeter.
Were the women from Spain and the men from New York? We kept thinking New York when they spoke… both in accent and attitude. (No offense to New Yorkers… obviously everyone isn’t like that.)
I’d guess they’re all from Florida, a mix of Cuban / Latino immigrants plus New Yorkers plus a vaguely European couple.
I still think Barnaby is cute. Maybe I need new glasses.
And then there was that fiasco where the deckhand took whatever that little sail board thing was out of the water to disassemble it, and Gary told her specifically to do it on the upper deck. So she ignored him and lost a piece when she dropped into the water, because she wasn’t doing it on the upper deck. She was so blasé about losing a key piece of the rigging and not following instructions. As much as I don’t like Gary, he knows what he’s doing on the boat and she blatantly disregarded specific instructions then laughed about it. Ugh.
she had had about 2 hours of sleep, so I sympathize
I don’t, really. She was given very specific instructions which she ignored then laughed about it. That wasn’t an “oops!” mistake.
I have not watched this, but now I Have to!! I didn’t know that Gabby was gone! Damn I am behind on this! Thank God for you!! You have absolutely the best recaps, and I have looked elsewhere (not that I would ever leave) but no one does it better than you.
Bacon with a Bloody Mary??! Jesus, what a pain in the ass these people have to be! I am glad you are feeling a little better. Is it weird I am missing the Depp trial? Yes Nancy, you are weird. I look forward to reading more comments. Thanks TT!!
Depp trial has a week off. Judge had commitments.
If you need your Depp v Heard fix, there is a SHIT TON on YouTube of experts and “experts” dissecting body language, testimony, and LIES.
That one Bloody Mary motherfucker needs to have his comeuppance. He did NOT say “jumbo” shrimp, he said “grilled” shrimp.
Your fucking JUMBO shrimp is COMING!
Not the one in your pants, that’s a brine shrimp! (Aka Sea Monkey.)
These guests are HORRIBLE!!!
Daisy DID fail. She failed to lay down the law once Gabby told her about the Ashley problem (after trying to solve the IMPOSSIBLE herself). Daisy failed Gabby and the entire crew.
When it comes to fuckboy Gary problems, by all means, let the stews work it out themselves. Until it has an impact on the crew and, more important, service. But the professional problems, that’s one of your responsibilities as a manager.
Karma stepped in to take over. Ashley with the steaming — it could have been a TEAM project. And Daisy with the service — wouldn’t it have been half as difficult with Gabby there to bartend while you did the other crap for these motherfuckers? LOFL!
I really don’t see that Daisy’s handling of Ashley is any defence for Gabriella being a very, very mean drunk.
Gabriella said she didn’t feel like she fit in. They show her sober having fun with everyone, including Marcos. Then she drinks and gets weird and passive aggressive. “Now get out of my house.” What? She grabs the paella spoon and serves herself. “Me first.” Then again, “you can all leave now.” You are alienating everyone. Plus, a shit move to leave right before a new charter.
I liked Colin telling her what a great person she is and a hard worker. Sober. And Gabriella knows this and hopefully will get help. I’d love to see her again on a new season.
It was better for everyone that she left when she did I guess.
Here is what gets me about guests like these: they seem to forget they are on a sailing boat/yacht with limited crew, and not a five star restaurant, hotel, and bar. Restaurant, a chef and sous chefs, not one person. A hotel with many maids and a concierge and many people to steam your skanky wardrobe. A bar, which I doubt has “jumbo” fried shrimp and bacon at the ready for your weird bloody marys.
Even when Daisy replied because they commented on service that they were a stew down (and the other one was steaming your clothes that you will make her stuff back in your suitcases) they didn’t stop being dicks.
Definitely new money trash pretending they know how the rich live.
Id like a dry martini with a side of beef and slow roasted baby tomatoes in it infused with the oil of virgin bellboys. Who orders a drink with food floating in it? Disgusting. Also someone should look directly at the Drs nipple and ask her if she is enjoying her pizza.
I didn’t think it possible for a group of guests to actually be worse than Erica and her group, but I stand corrected. These people are just awful in every sense of the word. I hope they are mortified by watching themselves but sadly assholery seems to not come with self awareness. With all that luggage you’d think there’s room to pack some boob tape or a pair of nipple covers, lol. And I’m betting that they will be shitty tippers as well.
Also, what is the point of a preference sheet? If you didn’t put bacon/shrimp salad for cocktails and grape juice on it then you are SOL. What part of being on a boat and Ltd provisions do they not understand? And the ugly American stereotype continues…
I think these guests are totally unreasonable. That said, I don’t think Daisy should have mentioned they were down a stew. That is NOT the guests’ problem. Even unreasonable guests are paying for a certain level of service.
Just when you think you’ve seen the world’s worst charter guests, Dr. Nipples says “hold my beer” and shows up with her crap fest group of jerks. It’s horrifying to think that people actually act like that.