Y’all I am a hot mess today. I wish it was Saturday when I didn’t have to recap. See Open Forum for my full on meltdown. I am so not in the headspace to recap this stupid show. Nevertheless, I persist. But, I will be going back to bed the second this ends. I’ve has several unwatched episode of Kandi and the Gang on DVR and have been watching them. It really got a lot better. I’m totally hoping for another season. Moving on….
First of all I hate that no one told Drew to say edge of your seat. Seats are not hairlines. It irks me. We start with Sanya telling us she has move 9 family members living in her house. Including her brother his wife and two kids. Clearly, they are just living there for filming. Pausing tape. When I was 19 I worked for the now defunct Eastern Airline and could fly for free We went to Jamaica. And on the very first night it did not go well. There were men pounding on our door saying we has a phone call. Literally no one knew where we were. The next day we moved to a fancy place we could not really afford. And there we met a “tour guide” who chaperoned us. I guess we and by we I mean I paid for him. We stayed out to long one night in a sketchy neighborhood and the older lady I went with was dumber than a bag of rocks.
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I somehow had an ear for Jamaican and knew we were in a bad spot. Our guide knew I knew and she did not. Sorry. Random thought. Also, we were flying first class and on the way back I was crying in couch because apparently they could tell I might have snorting some things on my visit. Shut up, it was the eighties! LOL. I can also tell I am going to overshare and make this recap about me. Sorry. I hate Sheree, the bone carrier. I do love Kenya reading Marlo. I hate the forced relationship between these two. But, Kenya has to do to get camera time. I despise Sheree she is too stupid to live.
Drew’s Marital Problems
I don’t care. Ralph is a douchebag. End of story. Did he just say he can’t be fucking her because she is a 50 year old woman. Do you have any idea how many… never mind. Let’s move on. All I am saying is that 50 year old women still have sex. I mean I haven’t had any in years but let’s just say a lot of hot younger guys don’t care. They will put their dicks anywhere. Ralph is a gaslighter. It also says something that ALL of the gay men in production love him. I’m just saying… I get gay guys sometimes hit on straight men, but…
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Brooklyn is ADORABLE. Meanwhile, Kandi gets all the bags. I have so much pride in Kandi. Todd may be straying? He can’t handle her success. Todd has a condo with his ex in New Jersey? Story line? Sorry this is half hearted. I don’t even know what this Halloween thing is. Marlo doesn’t know what she is doing and neither do I. I am confused about the whole story. I am so distracted by all the weird makeup I have no idea what is going on but apparently Marlo and Kandi are bonding. Ralph is obnoxious.
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Not so allegedly, Blaze has failed their health inspections more than once. Oh now, the guys are going all RHONJ. I do not care about these guys. The RHONJ seem more familiar with each other. AMIRITE? The topic is about Drew and the massage situation. Ralph is a dick. Why do I like Marlo this season? She is such a good “mom”. Meanwhile, Ralph on a ” I really need to show you I am not fucking anyone else” date and she falls for it. She has the coins he does not. He is full of shit. End of recap. I am off to bed.
Sanya family breakdown was wrong. Sanya’s sister, Shari her husband and their 2 kids moved in.
How does Sheree afford that house?
Good question!! That house looks great and all that furniture looked expensive!! I wanted to not like her house but it looked stylish.
Agree!
I wanted to dislike it too but even Kenya had to say BRAVO. That basement with those high ceilings and the massage area are EVERYTHING!!!! HOW DOES SHE PAY FOR ALL THAT VERY STYLISH FURNISHING AND THAT BEAUTIFUL HOUSE?!?!? Inquiring (or nosy) minds want to know.
Fuck you Ralph. I’m 54 and my husband of 30 years and I had sex today, during the day on the couch and on the livinrg room floor. We have more sex now that the kids are gone.
Get it Gurl! Get it!
Was Ralph this big of a kerk last year? He is unbelievable. Drew is trying to keep the marriage intact and he seems to almost mock
Sheree is in, what appears to be, a nice house. I wonder if Bravo rented it for her? Or was Tyrone’s alleged money used?
I forgot to add- I like Kandi’s show too. I like seeing real relationships. Kandi is such a sweetheart and a great business woman at the same time. It’s good to see another side of Todd and Mama Joyce.
I like Kandi’s family and the restaurant staff.
I was waiting for Drew to break out in a tap dance based on that lime green fringe number. It looked like a recycled dance recital outfit from 1992. Starlight Express vibes!
Great description.
In her defense, she didn’t pick it out, the stylist brought it over… But Drew should have definitely refused to wear it, it was only missing the twirling baton that they use in the parades,
Am I the only one who caught the whiff of WannaBe NJ HouseHusbands ?
Yah. I don’t need that
And what the ugly circus dress is drew wearing ??
Anyone want a massage?
Kidding. However, if my husband ever had text messages to that effect, I’d be GONE! Actually – he’d be gone, I’d take him for every last penny to his name.
Bravo to Shree’s house. It is beautifully finished. Where Shree get those coins from??? 😒
I live for your recaps because I just can noooot watch the show!!!
Thanks Lolo!
Sheree’s house was actually very nice, though I know you hate her. When Drew was calling Ralph a “Maniac” did she mean “manic”? What she should really learn is the word “asshole”. Remember last week when he said he was writing a book about being a stepfather, but he flipped out at his wife and left her for a while? Writing about being a stepfather???
I dont care if Sanya’s family came in for the show, I am in, they are interesting to me
As much as I hope this is Drew’s final season, I’m pretty sure I see a third in her future and the focus will be their separation/divorce which will most likely be announced at the reunion.
It’s only the second episode and it’s already so uncomfortable. This may also explain the tension between her and Sheree since she can’t take it out on Ralph because he’s a child (definitely not a man). I was not a Drew fan from early on last season but I do give her credit for realizing she needed to be on Kenya’s good side now that her ally, Porsha, is out of the picture.
This is as bad and as boring as I can remember this show being in years. All the storylines seem fake OR too cringey (e.g., Ralph being a complete scumbag) to even watch.
I really feel Drew’s storyline is orchestrated. That’s why we are not seeing the complete picture on things because there’s nothing there. I think her husband is just a run of the mill asshole and not the super asshole we think he is. Lol. Drew is the friend in the group who goes too far with things. Her life is probably interesting enough on its own but she has to throw some sauce on it just because.
*thinking to myself* How much money would it take for me to act an ass on TV? Hmmmmm
Watching Drew practically beg to be properly loved while that AH makes a fool out of her is hurtful to watch. She obviously didn’t get the memo that SHE’S THE PRIZE. That “gay man magnet” she’s married to is NOT. I almost felt like a peeping Tom watching that awful “dinner” scene with them and I, for one (unlike many folks on social media), don’t believe it’s staged. She’s hurt for real it’s uncomfortable to watch it. Sheree’s house is gorgeous. It’s actually more tasteful and classy than Sheree herself….go figure. I would LOVE to know how she affords it. Marlo’s townhome is actually kind of gaudy, but those nephews of hers are ADORABLE and worth dealing with her pretentiousness to get a chance to see. I’m really enjoying being exposed to Jamaicans up close and personal through Sanya and after this episode, I’m going to have to go to a Jamaican restaurant and try some of those beef patties that they were fighting over. Anyway, it was a pretty decent episode, but all in all the franchise itself seems stale, reworked and overworked to me. I think most of these housewife franchises have seem their better days.