It looks like we are getting the last two killing Eve Recaps all in one. Also, my brain is not working and I seem to have deleted my category opens so this post won’t be listed with you click on Killing Eve recaps. I don’t know how that happened and can’t figure out how to fix it. It’s a real problem. But I don’t have the mental energy to figure it out today. So I am just going to try to recap two hours of a very difficult to follow season. I’ll be counting on you guys to explain things to me in comments.
Last week, we ran up at least three kills that I can remember. Eve killed Lars. Not sure what the point of that was. Villanelle killed Helene. And Pam killed Fernanda after having some qualms about going through with it. Click the link if like me you need a reminder of where we left off. I’m totally not expecting a happy ending to all of this.
Making Dead Things Look Nice
We begin on Gunn’s Island where Villanelle is waking up in barn full of animals. She finds Gunn “fileting” an old man who has been killing her fish and trespassing on her property. So, three minutes in we have our first kill. Even is appalled by how brutally Gunn chops up the body. Then, just like that two of them decide to go hunting. Because, why not? Why are all the scenes with Villanelle so funny?
Gunn killed a boar and violently dismembers it at the campfire with Villanelle. She asks about the woman cradling her body after she was shot by an arrow. Did I miss how she knew about that? Was Gunn the one who shot her? Villanelle tells her she was nobody. This puts Villanelle in a funk. Gunn offering her some worms to eat didn’t help either. She does drink the moonshine though. Then, she asked why she wanted Helene dead. Gunn tells a story about her home village being destroyed by poisonous water. I’m missing the relevance of that. Helene gave her the island. But, she eventually learned that Helene was using her.
Then, we get the first girl on girl action between Gunn and Villanelle. Eve is not going to like this when she shows up.
Eve Has An Existential Crisis
When we first see Eve she is posing as a limo driver. The car is very expensive and so are the shopping tastes of her female client. There is also a male who is acting as sort of her valet of sorts. Next we see her back in the hotel room with Yusuf. She tries to get out of the assignment but apparently she was their only option. Yusuf now that Helene is dead, Eve needs to find a “new ordinary.” He takes her to karaoke to remind he what fun is like. It’s hilarious but Eve can sing! That is until she starts seeing dead people in the empty room. She freaks out Yusef tries to comfort her. But, Eve seems reluctant to change her life. Yusuf walks away from her.
Next, Eve meets up with the shrink that specializes in psychopaths. Eve talks about her former life playing bridge, having a husband, and singing karaoke. But she quickly admits that she recently watched a woman (Helene) bleed to death and then she killed a man (Lars). This makes the shrink really uncomfortable. She says she wanted to kill the guy. He tells her to find he joys in life and be around the people that love her, and understand her and know her soul. That is a group of MAYBE one (Villanelle) at this point. Later, Eve takes down all of her maps and notes about the twelve. Then, the phone that Yusuf had gotten into rings. It’s a photo of a swallow.
Eve takes the phone to Konstantin and asks about the bird. He replies, “I swear to God you women will be the death of me.” That better not be foreshadowing. He is shocked to find out Helene is dead. He tells her to find Villanelle and tells her where she is. Konstanin tells her whatever she is going to do, don’t do it alone.
We move on to the English seaside seaside town of Margate where Konstantin is woken up by a phone call. It’s his daughter, Irina. Apparently, Helene got her out of the nut bin before she was murdered. Irina is now mixed up with the twelve. Well, she would fit right in. Konstantin is heartbroken. Later, he meets up with Pam for hot chocolate. I’ve always thought it was weird that he name was Pam. She doesn’t look like a Pam. Pam asks Konstantin what is wrong because he looks like “an angry Santa Claus.” He tells Pam to take the day off and go have fun.
So Pam heads back to the carnival to see Darren, the Carny with a crush. This time he is working in a small food truck and trying to cut up a large pig to serve the customers. Pam stops him and teaches him how to cut up a body. lol. The she says the titular line, “It’s all about making dead things look nice.” Because, she’s not creepy at all. Later, Konstantin goes to the pig shack and tells her that things have changed and he needs her. She says she can’t. But, she will come to the hotel later. Konstantin drinks and dances in the hotel room.
While Carolyn did finally flee Germany, it seems she only made it just over the border to Austria. While Carolyn tries to decipher Lars’ notebook, an eccentric old man shows up with a drink for her. He’s clearly trying to flirt with her. Then Vladmir and a couple of other men in black show up to greet her. Vlad says that she has betrayed him and everyone around her and now she is completely alone. Then he notices she is not drinking her sherry. She says he is welcome to it. However, she suspects the bird watching guy that bought it for her is an assassin sent to kill her.
She has deciphered from Lars’ notebook that the twelve, while normally working in separate cells with little communication. They do occasionally meet. She thinks that they meet at Barn Swallow Pub in London based on a drawing of a swallow from the notebook. So she is heading there. There are a lot of bird references in this episode.
Pam Makes Dead Things Look Nice
Pam shows up at the hotel to get her next assignment and finds a happy, drunken, Konstantin having his own little party. She has brought a pizza for them. When she arrives she notices that Konstantin has packed her bags. Perhaps over the guilt of his own daughter, Irina, being in the twelve now, he wants to protect her from that life. They sit down for pizza and she removes something metal off the top of the pizza and lays it on the table. What was that? He says that everyone he has ever worked with has been one step from killing him. She says she doesn’t want either of them to live like that. She hugs him tells him she is grateful to him for helping her start a new life.
Then out of know where she starts killing him with a pizza cutter! NOE!!!!!! She immediately regrets it and tries to stop the bleeding. He tells her to stop. He tells her that he has a letter in his bag that he wants her to bring to Carolyn. How the heck would she know where Carolyn is? Aw, he says to tell her that he always loved her. He tells her he is proud of her Then she finishes him off and apologizes and cries some more. She made dead things look nice and dressed him in a suit and laid him on the bed. He looks dead, but I don’t want to believe it.
Meanwhile, Back on Gunn Island
Gunn has chopped up Villanelles boat “for fire wood.” They are literally living in the woods. Clearly, she doesn’t want her to ever leave. But Eve, is also on the way. Gunn also moved all of her things into her cabin. Once inside they end up in a huge fight. One of them is probably going to kill the other and my money is on Villanelle being the last woman standing. Eve is on the island! Villanelle ran out of the cabin and Gunn is chasing her down with a machete. But Gunn finds Eve first and begins chasing her. Gunn catches her. But, Villanelle sees the whole thing going down. Gunn pins Eve down and says, “You can’t have her. She’s mine!
Eve gets away by smashing Gunn’s head with a rock and starts running frantically. WITHOUT THE KNIFE! Villanelle goes after her. Eve hides in a tree and then jumps down on Gunn and they get into another brawl. Eve is basically gouging her eyes out! It’s brutal. Villanelle is loving watching all of this. Eve finds Villanelle watching after she may have killed Gunn. She immediately starts telling her about the encrypted email invite. Gunn is not dead. She is screaming for Villanelle and heading to the cabin. Eve and Villanelle quickly head for Eve’s boat. Or Gunn’s boat. It’s a boat. Villanelle waves good bye to Gunn. Eve flips her off. I’m so going to miss this show.
I did in fact Google it and it is a small hut or cabin in Scotland. Back on the mainland, Villanelle and Eve ran into a couple hiking and invited them back to their “bothy” to escape the thunderstorm. The couple is very touchy feely and Villanelle and Eve are decidedly…NOT. The hosts ask them how they met. Eve says, “Oh she stalked me, drove her husband away and left her with nothing. Villanelle says, “She stalked me. Put me in prison and tongued my boss.” Perhaps they could of made up a better story. They met in a hospital and she donated a kidney to him. These two actually need killing they are so annoying.
While the couple reads tarot cards, Villanelle and Eve both seem to agree with me. They need killing. Villanelle agrees to a tarot card reading. It seems that Villanelle has a sunny happy future. Eve demands a future card for herself. She gets death. The chripy woman is not so chirpy anymore. As the rain continues to pour, Eve is not happy with her reading. Neither are happy with the couple. They end up having to share a sleeping bag. The next morning, Villanelle slips her hand under Eve’s shirt and rubs her back and touching her scars. Then. Villanelle asks if they should steal their camper van and GTFO of there. Eve says yes.
So off these two go in their stolen camper. Where are they planning to go? How did Eve plan to get home? So many loose ends. They are going to stop at a truck stop. Clearly neither of them have ever been to one. They flip around on the radio and land on Don’t You Want Me. They are having the time of their lives. At the truck stop, Villanelle sit at a table for two occupied by some random dude. They argue over who is the psychopath. Villanelle thinks it is Eve for putting mustard on her curly fries. Then Villanelle, cracks the code. and get the address for the Barn Swallow Bar. Oh apparently, she stole the dude’s phone charger. These two are having the time of their lives. But, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
After a roadside pee break, the two finally make out. Have they really ever done that before? Then, they head back to rock the van.
Pam Meets Carolyn
Meanwhile, early in the final episode, Carolyn arrives in London where Hugo, remember him? Picks her up. Carolyn is all the way over Hugo but a ride is a ride. He takes her to the M16 safehouse. It’s quite lovely. Hugo starts accusing Carolyn of loving the unsavory things her job entails. Her response is “Unplug the listening devices.” Carolyn tells Hugo that his nice new girlfriend is actually a Russian spy. She doesn’t believe him at first, but then he realizes she is alone in his going through all of his “sordid little bits” as Carolyn put it. When he comes back he asks Carolyn what she wants. She says, 24 hours and a taxi ride to Hampstead.
Nevertheless, the two meet up on a remote park bench. Carolyn has no time to waste. She only has 22 hours left to take down the twelve. Pam says that Konstantin is dead and she is the one who killed him. Carolyn responded with her usual feigned indifference, “Is that it?” Pam said he wanted her to tell he that he always loved her. Then she gives her the letter. Carolyn stops Pam from leaving and counsel her on leaving emotions out things. Then, Carolyn fully clothes jumps in the lake for a swim. WTF? Pam goes after her. I don’t get the point of this scene. Dead man’s float maybe?
The Barn Swallow
It’s time for everyone to convene at the Barn Swallow Bar. The first two we see there are Carolyn and Pam. Are they besties now? Carolyn hates everybody. The place is totally empty. Then Villanelle and Eve walk in. Villanelle runs up to Carolyn like she is her long lost friend. They chat about missing Havana. But, Eve hangs back and asks Villanelle and Pam to give her a moment alone with Carolyn. I’m not really following the dynamic of the conversation between Eve and Carolyn. So, I will focus of Villanelle and Pam shooting darts. Pam tells Villanelle Konstanin is dead and like the rest of us she gets teary-eyed. She says in Russian, “Good-bye you old bastard!”
Eve gets a message on Helene’s phone that says, “New destination.” Carolyn says “finally, all the heads of the twelve in one room. You can have this one Eve.” Eve says, “It’s always been mine. I presume that Carolyn knows that the location was changed as well. She tells Pam they are going for a walk. The meeting has moved to a cruise ship. Pam and Carolyn sit out side to chat. Pam asks her if she misses M16. She does. But, she can’t go back empty handed. Carolyn asks Pam if “she wants the job.” I presume she means killing Eve and Villanelle because that seems like how it all ends. Surprisingly, Pam says no. Pam walks away. Maybe Konstantin got through to her?
On the cruise ship, the person checking people in to the wedding asks if Eve is the officiant. Apparently, it is a wedding. And how the hell are they going know who the twelve are out of all of these people. Eve pretends to be the officiant and Villanelle kisses here and tells her to “distract them.” I should point out that neither of them are remotely dressed for a wedding. Eve has no idea how to officiate a wedding. Villanelle storms through the cruise ship looking for the twelve? She did something in a boiler room or something? Now, she is back at the ceremony. Eve is much more comfortable when she sees Villanelle.
Villanelle apparently killed everyone working in the kitchen, then when in a back room and gave the titular phrase for this episode. “Hello, Losers.” While Eve and the wedding guests are upstairs, Villanelle goes on a murderous rage in a room right off the kitchen. She takes a gash to the gut. Is she going to die while Eve dances her ass off? Nope she goes upstairs and see Eve having the time of her life doing the electric slide with the guests and storms out. Eve goes after her. They both go outside and hug. Villanelle told her she did it. Eve says, Don’t you mean we did it? Villanelle says, “Yeah, but mostly me.”
Suddenly, Villanelle is shot by someone on shore with a sniper gun. They jump in the water to avoid the bullets. Eve is hit! Villanelle is hit by several more bullets. It looks fatal. Eve tries to save her but it is too late. It is then we realize that Carolyn was the sniper on the shore. Or at least she was the person literally calling the shots. “Jolly Good,” she says. To Pam maybe? Eve manages to swim to shore screaming all the way.
I’m a bit disappointed, but not super surprised by this ending. What did you guys think?