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You are here: Home / Summer House / Summer House Recap: Happily Ever Never

Summer House Recap: Happily Ever Never

March 22, 2022 by tamaratattles 27 Comments

Summer House recapBY: POPCULTUREKELLY

It’s Summer House recap Monday y’all! We are still in Happily Ever After at Lindsay’s party. Austen is still staining our tv screen. Austen and Lindsay hook up about a million times.  He tells Andrea, who tells him that he’s just enjoying the drama. Andrea doesn’t think it’s nice. Ciara and Austen have a drunken chat at the birthday party. Austen shuts Ciara down when she wants to bring up serious matters. Lindsay tells Danielle that Austen has told her that he’s tired of drama with Ciara. Ciara cries to Paige about Austen. Paige feels bad for her friend. Paige tells her that if a guy doesn’t like her, he must have had a lobotomy.  Ciara, a nurse, doesn’t know what a lobotomy is. The whole Austen thing is making sense now. Kyle makes a costume change into Prince. Kyle is such a fun drunk at these parties!

Drunk And Drunker

Austen and Lindsay continue to flirt and make out. Ciara continues to scowl and pout. Ciara  pulls Austen aside to talk. Again. Austen clearly doesn’t want to talk. Ciara tells him that there is weird tension with her and Lindsay. Austen, being scumbag of the fucking year, tells her that LINDSAY KISSED HIM. Not “Lindsay and I hooked up”. Nope. Squarely places the blame on Lindsay, just to piss Ciara off. THEN he tells Ciara that she should tell him to fuck off. Ummm…SHE SHOULD! Of course she doesn’t. He has this fucking smirk on his face while telling her that he and Lindsay will kiss for the next 25 years. At this point Ciara looks so pathetic still being in the same room with him. She tells him that she likes him. I’m so fucking angry I just can’t.

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In better news, Mya and Oliver hit it off! They were so cute together. She breaks down talking to Paige and Amanda. Her confidence is crushed. She made me tear up when she said she didn’t like anything about herself. It breaks my heart that she doesn’t know how amazing she is. Ciara and Austen go to Andrea’s room to talk. Austen wants Andrea to be there to witness the conversation. Paige knocks on the door to gather everyone for cake. Austen tries to lock her out. Paige loses her shit! She lets him know that this is HER house and he is not allowed to ever lock her out of a room. She walks through the house yelling how Austen is a loser. Poor Carl has the candles all lit for Lindsay to blow them out. As soon as he hears the yelling he and the cake turn around. 

Let Them Eat Cake

Lindsay gets her cake. Ciara cries to Paige.  Paige just wants Ciara to move on. Paige and Ciara want to make Lindsay the bad guy. Amanda makes it clear that AUSTEN is the problem. Austen talks to Paige. Ciara tries to make Lindsay talk to her. Lindsay wants to enjoy her birthday and not have Ciara drama. Then she and Paige start arguing. Paige calls her diabolical. Danielle is pissed because Ciara called Lindsay a sucker ass bitch. Austen sits there with a shit eating grin, loving every second of this. Paige is going OFF! She can’t believe this is all happening over Austen. Danielle enters the chat. She tells Ciara that she cannot believe two beautiful, strong women are fighting over Austen. Luke is upset. He sticks up for Ciara (who wasn’t so nice to him). Luke tells Austen that he shouldn’t play the women. Sweet Luke.

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In the kitchen, things escalate AGAIN with Lindsay and Paige. Lindsay is so drunk. All she hears from Paige is that she’s a bad friend. Paige tries to tell Lindsay that Austen is the problem. Lindsay will not hear that.  Amanda, Danielle and Mya try to calm Lindsay down. Lindsay is adamant that Austen didn’t do anything wrong here. I’m trying to give her grace because she’s so wasted, but girl. Knock this shit off. Austen is a horrible friend. Lindsay and Ciara aren’t friends, I get it. But this is all over Austen. It’s just gross. Lindsay and Austen go to a club after the girls go to bed. Ciara feels such disappointment with Austen. I don’t know how she ever saw a different version of him, but ok. Lindsay comes home with a different guy, leaving Luke and Austen to arm wrestle. 

Next time on Summer House: Kyle has the prenup talk with Amanda. Mya goes on a date. Ciara and Danielle fight. Paige and Craig are on WWHL. I’ll give the highlights. They look great. Craig says he and Austen didn’t speak for two months after Austen and Paige fought. Paige is still friends with Austen. Craig says Austen did soul searching after this summer. Mmmmhmmm. Craig and Madison are getting along now, which is big news. They play some games with Andy. No other tea is spilled. Phew what an episode! Let’s talk in the comments! 

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Filed Under: Summer House Tagged With: Amanda Batula, Andrea Denver, Austen Kroll, Bravo, Ciara Miller, Craig Conover, Gabby Kniery, Jason Cameron, Julia McGuire, Kyle Cooke, Lindsay Hubbard, Luke Gulbranson, Paige DeSorbo, Summer House

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. tamaratattles says

    March 22, 2022 at 4:27 pm

    I just had this on in the background and wasn’t really paying attention. But who was having sex in the bed at the end?

    Reply
    • Mike b. says

      March 22, 2022 at 4:30 pm

      Lindsey and a hot bar pick-up, it was her birthday gift to herself.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        March 22, 2022 at 4:41 pm

        Oh wow!

        Reply
        • Mike b. says

          March 22, 2022 at 6:27 pm

          There’s no shame in her game. The guy’s face wasn’t even blurred out.

          Reply
  2. Mike b. says

    March 22, 2022 at 4:34 pm

    I was a top 10 bravo fight, Luke’s costume won hands down and Cira picked the wrong time and the wrong place. Come on – Austin is just icky poo.

    Reply
  3. NancyintheSmokies says

    March 22, 2022 at 4:42 pm

    Great recap!! I actually enjoyed this episode, why IDK. But yes, fighting over AUSTEN?? ok. I do place some of the blame on Lindsey, she is such a bitch. Who acts like that? Because it’s your birthday you can kiss whoever you want, piss off whoever you want, and apparently bring a guy home (I have no problem with that it was just what happened beforehand) and don’t even cover the cameras? I cannot stomach her.

    I was Very impressed with Craig’s new squeeze. She is perfect for him! Is he perfect for her? We shall see.

    Reply
    • Mike b. says

      March 22, 2022 at 6:29 pm

      It was all very high school I was getting flashbacks.

      Reply
    • Deb in SF says

      March 25, 2022 at 3:24 am

      Ciara…cringe worthy. No self respect. And I’ve so been there. Painful to watch. And Lindsay is such a narcissistic bitch. Austen is an abuser. Toxic. The whole episode was devoted to them. Ugh. Paige is a sweetheart; I hope Craig is worthy of her.

      Reply
  4. Lisa Cantu says

    March 22, 2022 at 6:59 pm

    I thought Paige looked beautiful on wwhl. Her and Craig look happy

    Reply
  5. KaraW says

    March 22, 2022 at 7:19 pm

    How in the world is it that Austen, Craig, and Kyle are hooked up with someone (or more than one someone) and Luke and Andrea who are so great at taking care of everyone are not? It just shows that most of them aren’t ready to settle down.

    I will say this for Lindsey though — she thought she was with Austen when they were in Vermont and then Ciara swooped in. So at this point, she doesn’t care about Ciara’s feelings at all. Yes, very high school!!

    Did they say on WWHL that Ciara got a different version of Austen in Vermont and now she’s seeing the real Austen? Or did I make that up?

    Reply
    • LadyRoyale says

      March 22, 2022 at 7:48 pm

      Kara, I remember Paige saying that on SH during one of her “talking head/confessional” moments. Austen has turned into a horrible person. His parents always seemed nice when I saw them on Southern Charm.

      Reply
      • Deb in SF says

        March 25, 2022 at 3:31 am

        Austen was never a good person. He is who he was. I’d like to knee him very hard in the groin. More than once.

        Reply
    • Mike says

      March 23, 2022 at 11:53 pm

      I feel the same way! I have yet to see the redeeming qualities in Austen or Craig. They seem like pricks that come with a ton of drama that is not worth it.

      Paige had a really nice guy in Andrea, but she goes for Austen, the guy that treats her worse. Everyone on the show must have low self-esteem to make such poor relationship choices.

      Reply
      • rhi says

        March 24, 2022 at 1:08 pm

        Honey. Paige was not interested in Austen. Ever.

        Reply
  6. CC79 says

    March 22, 2022 at 8:20 pm

    These girls fighting over AUSTEN KROLL is mind boggling. Lindsay was a straight up batch and Ciara looked embarrassingly desperate.

    Loved Paige tonight. Go offff sis.

    Lindsay coming home to fuck the random guy from the club was hilarious 😂 😃

    Reply
  7. MHP says

    March 22, 2022 at 9:42 pm

    Paige also made it clear on WWHL that Lindsay told Ciara the weekend before this that she and Austen were platonic. Then this birthday wknd came and she was saying he was sleeping in her bed and she was making out with him.

    Also! Paige said that in Vermont Lindsay told Ciara that she loves all her guy friends and that’s what she meant when she told Austen she loved him.

    Lindsay kept walking away bc like Paige said, Lindsay is diabolical. Lindsay wanted revenge on Ciara for Austen picking her instead. Austen picked Ciara in Vermont and on WWHL. They stopped being friends after that, right? But was she with Carl already? So why did she care if he picked Ciara again?

    I would not be surprised if Lindsay is with Carl bc she is a desperate “Pick Me” girl. Just like Amanda.

    Reply
    • Ninnyro says

      March 23, 2022 at 3:33 pm

      Not sure if i heard wrong, but I thought Paige said at WWHL that Lindsay and Ciera talked in Vermont not The Hamptons and Lindsay gave Ciera her blessing to go after Austen, that they were just pals. That totally changed my opinion on the whole situation and Ciera, because this whole time I was thinking, well Ciera, Lindsay had a thing with him going into Winter House and you disregarded it.

      Reply
      • MHP says

        March 23, 2022 at 4:10 pm

        Lindsay and Ciara spoke both in Vermont and the Hamptons according to Paige. On WWHL Paige mentioned in Vermont the love conversation and in the Hamptons the wknd before the platonic conversation. Then Lindsay flipped the narrative and was dismissive of Ciara during the birthday wknd. That is probably why Paige called Lindsay diabolical. And also probably why both Amanda and Paige sat by the pool and commented how Austen and Lindsay did not seem platonic straddled in the pool. Bc they were probably referencing the platonic conversation Lindsay and Austen had…

        Reply
        • MHP says

          March 23, 2022 at 4:20 pm

          **platonic conversations Lindsay and *Ciara* had** (twice)

          Reply
  8. memyselfandi says

    March 23, 2022 at 2:48 pm

    Do not understand how anyone can find Lindsay in the wrong here.

    Lindsay and Austen had a thing prior to Vermont and she tried to get serious with him there and he told her he did not see a serious relationship for them and started hooking up with Ciara. Lindsey did not spend the whole Winter House season pouting about it, whining about Girl Code, or try to cockblock them based on their past hookup not working out. She just accepted his fuckboy-ness, moved on to a new guy, and partied it up.

    This season Ciara has flirted with several guys yet it was only after Lindsay insinuated Austen might stay in her bed during his visit for her birthday weekend did she get so possessive and jealous over a guy she had just hooked up with on a vacation months prior and then not seen since. She had no business to dictate where he slept or try to cockblock Lindsay from resuming a friends with benefits situation. It was also B.S. try to make Lindsay the bad guy if Austen wanted to be with her. I don’t even think Ciara likes Austen that much she just hates thinking someone prefers Lindsay to her.

    Now all that said… wow Austen is a freaking psycho mindfucker with these two and it is for the best they have nothing to do with him. I just keep thinking about how this Summer House drama with him choosing Lindsey over Ciara was filmed in real time before that awful cringy WWHL episode some weeks back where with Lindsay in the audience he answered all the questions as if he liked Ciara way more than Lindsay.

    Reply
    • MHP says

      March 23, 2022 at 4:22 pm

      Lindsay is a young version of Ramona (when it comes to men).

      Reply
    • Anne Marie says

      April 4, 2022 at 10:49 pm

      Agree 1000% with @memyselfandi
      Linds was not to blame here. I think Austen felt guilty about what happened over Lindsey’s birthday weekend because everyone got mad at him (Craig said he didn’t speak to Austen for two months because of how Austen had treated Ciara). So I think Austen tried to redeem himself on WWHL by speaking so highly of Ciara. Even though Lindsey was there in real time, he knew he had to do something to make Ciara feel better. So it actually explains the whole terrible WWHL.

      Reply
  9. Ninnyro says

    March 23, 2022 at 3:37 pm

    Agree 1000% with all of this. Not a Ciara fan at all but Austen is the worst. He loves the two ladies fighting over him. Watching him sit there trying to bait Ciara into freaking out on him over kissing Lindsay was nuts.

    Reply
  10. Kris says

    March 23, 2022 at 4:53 pm

    Omg. Austin!!! He’s a villian. Lindsay was not being sensitive to Ciara but sges no villian. In fact Ciara was not sensitive to Lindsay in Vermont. Austin played those two women with glee. He has no excuse unless he’s an active alcoholic which could be true. I mean how old is he? How many relationships or potential relationships has he thrown away for partying? At what point do these guys grow up? Does he really not want a a real job and a family? I guess he’s the new Thomad R.

    Reply
  11. Cheryl B. (cherylannburke1) says

    March 23, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    Thank you for the recap, as always….😊
    I’m so lost with the interchangeable make outs.
    And who would believe the mush Austen spews, gagggg. Lol.
    Trying, but it just lost its fun.

    Reply
    • Cheryl B. (cherylannburke1) says

      March 23, 2022 at 6:09 pm

      And Ciara’s voice and pitiful Austen begging bugs me.
      And Mya and her long sad “woe is me” weekly just sucks. But she’s really pretty.😊

      Reply
  12. Gingerella says

    March 25, 2022 at 3:52 pm

    I feel Luke is getting passed over this season. He’s such a good looking man (when he makes effort) and I think he’s genuinely a nice guy. They hardly show him at all this time around. Always in the background and not really the focus. He’s way better than the overrated f-boys who get all the air time.

    Reply

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