It’s Summer House recap Monday y’all! We are still in Happily Ever After at Lindsay’s party. Austen is still staining our tv screen. Austen and Lindsay hook up about a million times. He tells Andrea, who tells him that he’s just enjoying the drama. Andrea doesn’t think it’s nice. Ciara and Austen have a drunken chat at the birthday party. Austen shuts Ciara down when she wants to bring up serious matters. Lindsay tells Danielle that Austen has told her that he’s tired of drama with Ciara. Ciara cries to Paige about Austen. Paige feels bad for her friend. Paige tells her that if a guy doesn’t like her, he must have had a lobotomy. Ciara, a nurse, doesn’t know what a lobotomy is. The whole Austen thing is making sense now. Kyle makes a costume change into Prince. Kyle is such a fun drunk at these parties!
Drunk And Drunker
Austen and Lindsay continue to flirt and make out. Ciara continues to scowl and pout. Ciara pulls Austen aside to talk. Again. Austen clearly doesn’t want to talk. Ciara tells him that there is weird tension with her and Lindsay. Austen, being scumbag of the fucking year, tells her that LINDSAY KISSED HIM. Not “Lindsay and I hooked up”. Nope. Squarely places the blame on Lindsay, just to piss Ciara off. THEN he tells Ciara that she should tell him to fuck off. Ummm…SHE SHOULD! Of course she doesn’t. He has this fucking smirk on his face while telling her that he and Lindsay will kiss for the next 25 years. At this point Ciara looks so pathetic still being in the same room with him. She tells him that she likes him. I’m so fucking angry I just can’t.
In better news, Mya and Oliver hit it off! They were so cute together. She breaks down talking to Paige and Amanda. Her confidence is crushed. She made me tear up when she said she didn’t like anything about herself. It breaks my heart that she doesn’t know how amazing she is. Ciara and Austen go to Andrea’s room to talk. Austen wants Andrea to be there to witness the conversation. Paige knocks on the door to gather everyone for cake. Austen tries to lock her out. Paige loses her shit! She lets him know that this is HER house and he is not allowed to ever lock her out of a room. She walks through the house yelling how Austen is a loser. Poor Carl has the candles all lit for Lindsay to blow them out. As soon as he hears the yelling he and the cake turn around.
Let Them Eat Cake
Lindsay gets her cake. Ciara cries to Paige. Paige just wants Ciara to move on. Paige and Ciara want to make Lindsay the bad guy. Amanda makes it clear that AUSTEN is the problem. Austen talks to Paige. Ciara tries to make Lindsay talk to her. Lindsay wants to enjoy her birthday and not have Ciara drama. Then she and Paige start arguing. Paige calls her diabolical. Danielle is pissed because Ciara called Lindsay a sucker ass bitch. Austen sits there with a shit eating grin, loving every second of this. Paige is going OFF! She can’t believe this is all happening over Austen. Danielle enters the chat. She tells Ciara that she cannot believe two beautiful, strong women are fighting over Austen. Luke is upset. He sticks up for Ciara (who wasn’t so nice to him). Luke tells Austen that he shouldn’t play the women. Sweet Luke.
In the kitchen, things escalate AGAIN with Lindsay and Paige. Lindsay is so drunk. All she hears from Paige is that she’s a bad friend. Paige tries to tell Lindsay that Austen is the problem. Lindsay will not hear that. Amanda, Danielle and Mya try to calm Lindsay down. Lindsay is adamant that Austen didn’t do anything wrong here. I’m trying to give her grace because she’s so wasted, but girl. Knock this shit off. Austen is a horrible friend. Lindsay and Ciara aren’t friends, I get it. But this is all over Austen. It’s just gross. Lindsay and Austen go to a club after the girls go to bed. Ciara feels such disappointment with Austen. I don’t know how she ever saw a different version of him, but ok. Lindsay comes home with a different guy, leaving Luke and Austen to arm wrestle.
Next time on Summer House: Kyle has the prenup talk with Amanda. Mya goes on a date. Ciara and Danielle fight. Paige and Craig are on WWHL. I’ll give the highlights. They look great. Craig says he and Austen didn’t speak for two months after Austen and Paige fought. Paige is still friends with Austen. Craig says Austen did soul searching after this summer. Mmmmhmmm. Craig and Madison are getting along now, which is big news. They play some games with Andy. No other tea is spilled. Phew what an episode! Let’s talk in the comments!