Jasmine & Gino
On to a 90 Day Fiance Before The 90 days recap. This season is crazy. I can’t wait to chat with you about this, I really need the distraction. I already feel like I have forgotten most of the last episode. They are fighting and Gino has left the hotel. I thought she she said “kids” last week but it was “tits.” They are still fighting about his ex girlfriend. I don’t understand Jasmine’s tears. Gino is no prize. But, she says she loves him. And that is sweet. She cries in his arms and apparently they are in love. Ha! She loves him from bald head to toe. Aw. That is sweet. Gino cries tears of joy in his confessional.
They have a sweet couples confessional. He is leaving to go home tomorrow. So, I guess we are almost done with this season. She continues to say she loves him. They have a romantic date at a spring. And yes, he swims with his hat on. We do get a glimpse of his bald head. It’s really kind of nice. I think he is overly self conscious about it. Then, he gets down on one knee in the rain and proposes with his $200 engagement ring. She says yes. I feel like she really loves him. I happy with this relationship. Who knew this would be the most in love couple? She loves her ring which may not be a diamond “screams Gino.” And yes, Gino. You are the luckiest man in the world.
Kimberly & Usman
Kimberly wants to go home and Usman needs his meal ticket. Are these friends the same friends who were on the season with Usman and Baby Girl Lisa? This is like Baby Girl Lisa part two. Kim Buh Lee is packing her stuff. She is done. I don’t believe her.
These two meet up at the beach. Why is she still there? He apparently wrote a song for her. HUGE EYEROLL. Again, has she not watched this show before going on it? He professes his undying love. Now she is all back in. Good Lord. Women are stupid. She is going back to Nigeria with him.
Memphis & Hazma
The wedding is supposed to be tomorrow? How do I not remember this? Memphis apparently went to a hotel. But, the pre-wedding celebrations have started. His female family members and singing and ululating. When I lived in Libya, my mother was invited to a local wedding. It was fascinating. Anyway, can we talk about how dumb Memphis is? She’s worried about a prenup like she is Martha Stewart or someone. Also, as anyone who has watched an episode of this show knows that she or someone in her family is obligated to financially support Hamza for TEN YEARS whether they stay together or not.
Memphis finally shows up to her own wedding celebration and is embraced by Hamza’s entire family. But, Memphis has other plans. In other language weird news, “Thank You” is different in Tunisian Arabic? than Libyan Arabic? Oh Lord, now she wants a post-nup instead of a pre-nup. Seriously, what kind of money is she trying to protect? Her mom wants the pre-nup. So she tries to get him to sign a post-nup. If she is all lawyered up, should someone tell her that she is responsible for him for ten years? Hamza is offended that she is already talking about divorce. The sister tells him that she would not marry anyone who does not trust him. He says he will sign the post-nup.
Ben & Mahogany
Mahogany talks to her dad about Ben. She is pissed that Ben wants to talk to her parents without him. She is questioning the relationship. Her father wants to know how things have been going with the two of them. Not great actually. The word on Twitter is that no one believes this relationship is real. Her dad says that she deserves more than Ben. Are they acting? Mahogany feels like Ben is a different person than she met online.
Ben meets with her parents. But they don’t show up. They send a letter instead. The dad had some sort of urgent phone call. But in reality, he is upset with how Ben treats his daughter. Also, WTF is Ben wearing? Mahogany thinks Ben is immature. She thinks he is different in person. She bails. The grown man acts like this is all Mahogany’s fault. REALLY? Ben is an idiot. Mahogany has left the building. LOL. Good for her. Why the hell is Ben so confused? Also, he may need a bra.
Ximena & Mike
First of all go watch the Kempire post about Mike here. It’s not good. Ximena tells her family that she is not sure about marrying Mike because he is creepy and has bad habits regarding cleanliness, and that he stares at her when she is sleeping. Um, if she is sleeping how would she know that. Her family all want her to marry Mike. Wow. It seems to be a “secure the bag” type of situation as he pays all of her bills. They basically say she is not perfect either. WAIT WHAAT!? Juan comes manazas is my Spanish that I have learned on Duolingo. It means Juan eats apples. A totally useless phrase. But then her gives him apples and it wasn’t MANZANAS! Now all forty sever Spanish words I have learned are called into question!
WTF is wrong with Mike? I don’t care how desperate you are, when someone says that they are repulsed and disgusted by you… um… shouldn’t that be a deal breaker? I’m just saying. The mom is totally on his side and knows that Ximena is a bitch. She says basically that Ximena has never had a serious relationship. Mike didn’t know that. She is also his first serious relationship. Wow.
Later, they meet up. Mike wants to try one last time. Seriously? Why? Apparently, Ximena thinks she is too young to be in a serious relationship? She has half grown kids! She was obviously serious enough to have kids! Mike may have some shit to answer for but she’s a manipulative bitch. She is literally SO HORRIBLE to the man paying her bills and supporting her children. TT HINT: If you want the dope to keep paying your bills BE NICE. Who paid for all those ugly tattoos. She doesn’t even give him the common courtesty you would give a blind date that you at no interested in!
Mike is finally getting ready to bail. He knows she is a gold digger. She claims she will pay for everything on her own. She’s full of shit. She already has more guys in line to pay for her. MIKE STOP ASKING TO BE HER FRIEND! Ha! He wants to take the things he paid for back with him! LOL! And she dumps him on camera. He literally runs though traffic.