Houston, we have a problem! Andy Cohen continues to tag his show onto the housewives for ratings and that means I can’t record to night’s show because of a double conflict between The Bachelor Finale that I will NOT BE MISSING and This Is Us at 9 o’clock. So this is going to have to be a speed recap where everything must get done in 60 minutes or less. So I’m not going to be very chatty tonight. And fuck you, Andy Cohen. So here is the rapid fire RHONJ Recap for tonight.
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We begin tonight with Bill leaving the Guys night out because Evan was insulting his wife. Frank is very sweet trying to get him to come back, but Bill is not having it and leaves. Then Louie shows up for his interrogation. He denies all claims about assaulting women in previous relationships. Then, he claims the woman making the claims stabbed her husband with a butcher knife. All of this raises concerns with Joe Gorga. But, Teresa has made it clear she wants to be with Louie so he is going to keep his opinions to himself. Oh, and Teresa called to check on Louie on guys night. I’m half blind. What does Marge’s Joe’s arm tattoo say? The next day, the wives are all irritated that Louie deflected and basically blamed the victim.
Family Drama And An Anniversary
Bill seems unable to communicate with Jennifer and the marriage is likely to get worse because of it. Meanwhile, Dolores’s kids are moving into the newly renovated house. Dolores is very concerned about her mother’s surgery. Dolores’s daughter still talks to David every day. That’s kind of weird. There are tons of 30 second scenes with each family that makes it kind of hard to recap. Marge is going to throw a spa day with the girls to help Dolores relax during this difficult time. She is not going to invite Jennifer just to keep the peace. Oh lord, Gia doesn’t think her mom went to jail because she did anything. Girl, read some documents. Aren’t you going to school for some sort of legal major? Study harder.
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Gabriella is so pretty. Melissa’s daughter Antonia is pissed that they moved during the middle of high school. She doesn’t want to cheer anymore after tearing her ACL. Ugh. I hate sitting through commercials. Maybe I can start my Wordle during them. Next, we get a ridiculous scene with Teresa and Louie on a boat ride for their anniversary. He has a guy playing saxophone. Teresa played sax in elementary school. Ha! There is a chef making them dinner. She gave him a bracelet of some sort. It’s time for his big gift reveal. It’s a giant scroll with twenty reasons why he loves her. One is her “bashfulness”? These two both have the mentality of third graders. They are a perfect for each other. Finally got Wordle. I hate when the word uses a letter more than once.
Spa Day
I love Marge’s reaction to the Louie scroll. He loves her honesty? Literally none of the 20 affirmations were grounded in reality. They all talk about Jennifer behind her back. At least Teresa says that Traci needs to stop trashing Jennifer (in confessional) because she doesn’t even know her. Stop making me agree with Teresa. After some of the girls go into treatment the others feel bad that David is comforting everyone in her family except her. Traci just doesn’t fit in with these women. That could be a good thing for her. Melissa feels terrible for moving Antonia during high school. She had miserable experience changing high schools herself.
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I just taped the 3:30 am rerun of WWHL because Loni Love is on with Teresa Giudice. I love Loni. When Traci’s group goes back for massages, Teresa says that she’s annoyed with Traci. Delores sticks up for Jennifer. Meanwhile, Jennifer goes out for bagels with her brother. Jennifer had to call their mother in Turkey and tell her about Bill’s affair ten years ago. Her brother seems like a great brother. They talk about her marriage and he is very supportive. And that hits the 9 pm mark. Off to watch this shit show of a Bachelor Finale. So excited!
Yikes. Whenever I contemplate how much of a mess my life is, I can always return to RHONJ and feel better about the state of my life.
Bitchy Evan breaking bro code. Lol. Acting just like his wife.
Yes! And he sounded like a 10 year old: “go, goodbye, leave, go ahead.” I could smack him.
He and whatsherface are a horrid couple.
And I think he did cheat. More seems to be coming out about the woman etc.
I think he cheated too! And HIS wife dragged in a young lady (Gia) into her fight and said she did coke! Screw you Jackie!! I cannot stand either of them…and then there is Joe B. He is more gossipy than his shit stirring wife! And then just sits back and lets it roll out! Evan needs to SIT DOWN! He just made Bill look like the victim…he is not, but bad move Evan, get over yourself!
Thank you for the recap. I only saw about 15min of this before my satellite cut out. And btw on WWHL Andy did announce that Katie and Tom are separating officially, so shocked, let’s all raise our glasses for Tom’s freedom🤣
As I am watching the episode before this new one I thought about how Traci added nothing and adds nothing to the show. Thank you for mentioning, thought I was just in bitch mode (since Melissa is her friend)
Thank you for the recap, sounds like a dull episode. Which is the norm lately. Ugh.
TT, have you tried Quordle yet? Sorry I know that’s not related to the recap! But you need to try it! You have 9 attempts to solve 4 wordles at once. I promise it’s more fun than it sounds lol.
I love Quordle!!!! Also Semantle where you have to guess words and it tells you how close you are to the target word. Parts of speech matter, so song, sing, and singing would rate differently. Tonight, I got it in 36 words. Last night it was more like 300.
Also love Nerdle which is like Wordle but with math problems.
Okay just tried Semantle and it was so hard, but I loved it! It took me 130 guesses!
I don’t even want to know what that is. Quordle is hard enough. I almost always get Worlde on my fourth guess sometime three. But I always think I’m not going to get it and clearly don’t know the word.
Do you guys have a constant first word guess? I do.
I always use the word “ADIEU”. It has a lot of vowels and really helps.
HA! That is my word too! 🙂
I fucking Quordle every day. I need to go do today’s really fast because it is a busy day. I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME. LOL.
Me tooooo!!! I also quordle…
My favourite is Heardle! You have to guess the song.
Googling NOW!
I just did… Got Madonna Like A Virgin in 1 second… I’m so hooked, thank you!
I was also surprised that Gia thinks her mom went to prison as an innocent victim ? I really enjoy Gabriella.
But yet gets mad at her Uncle Joe for basically saying the same thing and being angry about it. I’m just wondering if Gia thinks her father was innocent as well 🤷♀️
One thing I hate is how Teresa makes them agree over and over again how perfect Louie is and hear how she’s never known love before him. That doesn’t offend them on their dad’s behalf?
Hypocrisy and double standards run deep in that family .. as does delusion.
That scene in the bathroom with both girls was so insulting to them. Making them agree that Louie is the “best guy ever” I forgot how hideous that bathroom is. She must own every makeup or skin care product known to man there wasn’t a clean spot on the vanity. The one thing I did notice was when they showed pictures of her coming home from prison she really looked pretty so natural. It goes to show how much work she’s done and how it’s really ruined her looks
I always thought she was cute and definitely looked younger with less makeup and less work. There’s sledge they all teeter on and it sad to see those that fall off it. Jen just did. Delores I think hasn’t but she’s on the ledge. Margaret looks like Margaret only better. And Melissa…she’s very pretty but it’s sad to see her old nose on her daughter. I hope Antonio isn’t affected by that!
The Wordle today took forever!
Because the reused letters!!! I HATE THAT.
I am so glad you told me about Wordless. At the time, I had my dog’s impending death on my mind. Now, it takes my mind off that. I couldn’t get the answers not even guesses at the beginning. I often get them in three now. I might be healing a little bit.
Quordle is annoyingly hard. Four Wordles at once. https://www.quordle.com I think I missed todays. Let’s just say lots of us, including you my friend, need love and prayers right now.
FYI the Quordle words are less common than the wordle words.
They are also big on double letters… grrr.
I know! I hate that!
I actually got the Quordle today. Actually it is the one for Thursday. It was close but the words were not that hard.
I have to brag but I got yesterday’s on the second word! I have only done that twice! I wish that Wordle did duplicate letters like Wheel of Fortune!
I wanted to add that I was upset by Melissa’s comment about Delores mom. She flatly stated that her heart condition was because of her poor diet. It seemed judgmental and shaming. I didn’t like that.
Agree. I immediately thought of Bob Harper from Biggest Loser. I think he would disagree with Melissa.
I worked with a guy who ate McDonald’s for practically every meal. The other guys were always giving him a hard time about his cholesterol. Of course with a bunch of guys in their 20’s a bet had to be made. Guess who had the lowest cholesterol. The McDonald’s eater.
(I’m not advocating eating junk food 3 times a day, but there are so many other factors to consider too.)
Delores has been on her mom about her diet so I think that’s where the comment came. That Delores has warned her mom and done everything to change it so it’s sad. I could be wrong but I took it as Delores’ worst fear came true.
I think you are right. On the show, Delores has talked to her mom about her eating habits, making better choices and eating healthier in general.
Yes this is all true she has pointed out that her mom eats poorly frequently and has been so worried about this. What I am saying is that Melissa has no place judging the mom for a triple bypass. It takes away compassion and love to patients who suffer when others judge and blame them. It was a thoughtless comment. Bodies are complicated things and it’s not so simple that a terrible diet directly caused a blockage
I think it was last weeks episode she was feeding her Mom and Dad all kinds of take out foods. Cheese, Fried something or other etc. Considering she gives them a hard time about their diets, I thought that was odd.
100% this.
I agree about Gabriella. She is so pretty.
Am I the only one who thinks Louie is a bit, well, slow? He reminds me of Doug, Lucys big brother in 50 First Dates?..
I also am fascinated with his skin colour that looks like he’s just had a relaxing spa session in a nuclear reactor. I thought his head was about to explode tonight..
Luis seems to have a processing disorder based on reading that scroll. What’s funny is that I’ve wondered if Teresa has one herself
I know, what a pair those two…
Margaret continues to be a bitch. There isn’t anyone she won’t make snarky remarks about, especially behind their backs like in confessionals. She makes me sick. And her weiner boy husband too.
I don’t know how I feel about Louie. He is different, that’s for sure. But I don’t think he was victim blaming when he made the stabbing statement. I think he was just saying that the woman was an unreliable source (is that the same thing?)
I feel like Louis is in the live-bombing phase. That being said, the whole boat scene was so cheesy and cringy. I felt the saxophone players 2nd hand embarrassment when the scroll was rolled out. That was peak cringe.
Love-bombing phase! Don’t want any confusion with an actual war going on now.
Agreed. Louis reminds me of Brooks, his first season on RHOC and his “daily affirmations”. 🤮 And we all know how that turned out.
I found this episode very touching and relevant to me. I recently found out my husband has been cheating. I understand all the emotions Jennifer is going through. It also helped me to hear Delores say she has always handled things alone. It may be a cliche, but it does help to know others have gone through what you’re experiencing right now.
My heart goes out to you. Please know it will get better
Sending lots of love to you, Audrey. We’re always here for you.
I was surprised to hear Evan tell Bill “Your wife is not a good person.” Um, yeah he’s going to leave! That’s just flat out wrong. You could say, What your wife did is wrong, but not your wife is not a good person. No man is going to stand for that. But that was the closest to pissed that I have ever see him get.
I LOVE the relationship between Delores and Marge. They seem to really IRL like each other. Like I think they talk a Lot. Very odd situation with David. Was he just looking for an extended family? It seems cruel, and now that she needs him she has no power, she has to let him help her mom, no matter what. I have never liked him, never saw what she saw in him, he has the personality of a pencil.
Gabriella spoke!! I really love the relationship with the girls, Gia is amazing even after being raised by wolves. I feel badly for Antonia, my girls were lucky enough to go straight through 12th grade with the same kids. We knew the principle really well, and many teachers had kids our kids ages, it was like Mayberry. They both cheered and played multiple sports, plus we coached baseball with our son for 10 years. They would HATE to be moved mid HS to another school. But it’s all about the Gorga boys playing for Bergin County apparentl!! I know people who will keep a male back a year so he will be bigger for sports than the other boys. Football is like a religion down here.
Traci(y)? Who cares? She’s got to be a one and done. I love Jen’s brother, and I really wish Marge had kept her big fucking mouth shut. Now I don’t trust her and she turned Jennifer into a sympathetic character. I have see Bill and Jen have great conversation, I hope they stay together.
Great recap! My sister is obsessed with Bachelor, she gave me a precis’ and I still forgot to watch! She basically said he was a dick.
Did anyone see the ring on Teresa’s ring finger on WWHL? She has to be engaged. The ring was big and gorgeous. She drives me nuts how she wants to control what people say and think about Louis. She can’t relax in her own relationship now what will it be like when she is married?
They came out with their engagement a while ago I think. Good thing he got her a nice ring because I don’t think she’s going to be happy with scrolls as a present for many years. All she ever talked about with Joe was diamonds
Bare with me and hear me out. I could be seeing things incorrectly but Teresa strikes me as the type who would turn a blind eye to the red flags about Louie rather than admit there is an issue. Teresa also strikes me as someone who would rather in a marriage than be single no matter how bad things are. I mean, hello, Juicy Joe. If she gets a wedding special of spin-off than she’s banking more of the Bravo bucks. If she ends up divorced I’m sure that will secure her either a special or a guaranteed spot for whatever season they’re on at that point.
Winner, winner .. chicken dinner! You nailed it!
She’s certainly giving them great flashback footage of how she’s defended him and how much in love she is 🤮
ABSOLUTELY Louie is JUST as smarmy/sneaky/agenda-driven/fame-oriented as Brooks!!! Douchy ^2 (squared). Theresa and Louie deserve each other, and I PRAY Bravo doesn’t whore itself out AGAIN for another spin-off wedding bullshit tacky RIDICULOUS spending for a wedding of douchy-douches eating ‘sangwiches’. Please. In the midst of this whole Ukraine mess and loss of life at the hand of that LUNATIC Putin (curious that BIG BERNIE is so SILENT on the ABUSES of the GOVERNMENT and country he Honeymooned in…).
Theresa is such the entitled narcissist, but aren’t most of them (Nene, Kenya, Luann, Ramona, Van der Pump, all of VPRules, ShaCriminal, lyin’-thievin’Mary, Meredith, Lisa, Tamra, HEATHER, SHANNON, Cynthia, Porsha, Erica, dorit, Rinna,etc.)???
i just like a reasonable girls’ show without feeling as if who these girls were when they started has morphed them into fame-beasts whoring themselves out for a storyline to ‘make’ them relevant.
Hearing Theresa say she didn’t want to spread rumors….blah blah. Does she REALLY think we are all as SIMPLE as she is?!!
The first scenes after the men’s night and hangover morning when Jen and Bill were sitting outside made me laugh, the editing! One shot Bill has the frizzy hair, next shot flat hair, then frizzy again, then flat again.
They show Frank’s version of a finished “enough” house, it looks like he used every leftover material he had in the boring 70s layout bathroom. I see four different stone-like materials and I’m sure there’s at least a fifth if I could see in the shower. There’s even gold shit in the wall grouting. Resale? Deduct 30k unless Kim Zolciak is the buyer, then add 10k.
Melissa’s daughter, Antonia, asking for Taylor ham (pork roll) is such a specific east coast thing! I loved it growing up and then didn’t have it for 20+ years and hated it when I had it again. It’s up there with scrapple with likes and dislikes. I also agree her parents should not have moved her mid-high school, who does that to a kid? Melissa is so selfish.
I love that Teresa is still impressed by stretch limos, she’ll never give up her ‘90s ways. Who trusts limo drivers these days? Hello??? Oh, dear lord, just saw Luis’ rent-a-boat. Barf! No. Awkward! Poor sax guy. Time to FF.
Stopped the FF at the indoor pool crap when Teresa came in… then I hit FF again. Love Jen’s brother! He makes a Bacon/Egg/Cheese… if I could have only one food for the rest of my life it’s BEC! Jen looks really good post-op, she just needs to round out the slope on her nose tip.