I got really far behind on MAFS Boston recaps with all that is going on in the world, and in this house. So I’m going to attempt to fly through two episodes and keep it to the most salient points. I always say that but rarely do. 🙂 I have no idea what is going on with Spectrum, but their programming guide is wrong all the time. The first episode I’m going to recap is called, Is Love On The Table and is two hours long. But the programming guide is describing Keisha Knight Pulliam’s after party show. I pay $300 a month for this garbage? That includes Internet and a landline (look it up it’s a phone you can’t take everywhere you go). 🙂
Katina & Olajuwon
How are you old enough to get married but too ignorant to shop at a grocery store? I’m not on Olajuwon’s side, but come on. Did you think your looks were going to feed you your whole life? It seems like Olajuwon is finally tired of Katina acting a fool at the group events and they fought all night. Katina is not happy with having to cook and clean and participate in the house. Apparently, Olajuwon wanted some help cleaning up after the housewarming and she offered to sweep half the floor. At this point Dr. Coles who is a licensed marriage and family therapist comes on to explain marriage to us. What we need to see is more of her actually counseling these couples. But apparently, she is just sending them a bottle of champagne and some talking points.
While the topic should be communication, unfortunately it is about falling in love. Katina asks her husband what it takes for him to fall in love. He says devotion, commitment and loyal. Katina has a whole long list. Olajuwon says that Katina never shows emotion and never cries. Because, she didn’t cry at the wedding or at any other time. She basically says that is a protective mechanism.
Love Is Not On The Table?
Olajuwon say love is not on the table for him. But, I think he misspoke. He meant he doesn’t know her well enough to know that. He says the connection has to grow and standards have to be met. Katina says she will do more cooking and cleaning. Or you know, start cooking and cleaning. Olajuwon said he will believe it when he sees it. Olajuwon tells the guys that if this was anyone else, he would be done with the relationship. Later he takes Katina out to cook seafood together with a chef. Not very subtle. Olajuwon is trying to train Katina to be a wife. She is not having it. He is pissed that her girlfriends brought the food for it. He says she doesn’t have enough life experiences for him. She cries in confessional. Later, Katina sets up a movie night at home with candies and a movie. He really liked that.
These two get an intimacy basket with all sorts of kinky toys. Katina is the dominatrix. It’s been a month. They kiss. Will they actually have sex? He gives her an intimate massage. It looks like tonight is the night!
OH Look! Dr. Coles Finally Makes A Home Visit
The the therapist finally makes a housecall and the first things she wants to know is why are they arguing about food and cooking? She wants to know how he fed himself before he got married and where he got his opinions about what it takes to be a good wife. Olajuwon just continues to discuss her unsatisfactory wifely duties. He basically calls her stupid and lazy. Katina cries. Dr. Coles is basically worthless.
Noi & Steve
Noi has apparently planned some sort of scavenger hunt for Steve at a park. This might be nice if it is all romantic and includes a blanket, wine and cheese, and a decent attitude. But, really, how likely is that to happen? And, as I predicted. She was just swinging on a swing set. We aren’t getting much between these two except for the scheduled scenes. They have dinner and answer Dr. Coles questions. Noi has been in love once. Steve has had five serious relationships and was in love with all of them. This is awkward. Noi already told him that she is falling in love. But, I don’t see it. She keep pushing Steve to say he is in love with her. She’s too childish to be married. On their three week anniversary, they have a picnic on the beach. HE TELLS HER HE LOVES HER! YAY! She loves him too. She’s still a problem though.
Steve and Noi talk to the therapist. She shuts down and leaves when things get tense. Steve says that response really needs to change. Then, Noi brings up that “Steve doesn’t want to work.” Really? Steve is doing just fine. Someone needs to explain that to her. But, therapist just takes that as fact. Le sigh.
Noi invites the whole group to do yoga. Actually, while the girls do aerial yoga. While the girls do that, guys seems to be just chatting in the gym room. Then they play ice hockey. Wow, it’s Michael’s first time. Not bad for a first timer. Steve seems to be fairly good at it. They are all going to be sore the next day. The girls bitch about the guys. Katina seems to be the most disgruntled. Lindsey says at least they are having sex again. Michael tells the guys things have been bad. But, now he is at a seven. Katina seems ready to bail on Michael.
Steve and Noi play a sexy game. She apparently learns what a body shot is. Then she suggests that they should try and have sex in a public place. Steve is shocked but very excited about it.
Lindsey & Mark
Lindsey is still pissed at Mark for not standing up for her on their last group outing. I understand her need to feel like he supports her. But, I also understand that Mike is embarrassed by her sometimes. He is also overwhelmed by her trying solve his problems and taking over his personal life. Lindsey thinks that Mark is negative. He not. What she should say is she expects to be supported when out with the group and if he is upset they can talk about it when they get home. Something about Mark’s eyes when he is frustrated reminds me of Jersey Shore’s Mike the Situation. These two need counseling from someone not on the show.
Lindsey has been in love right after high school. They lived together. Mark was in love with someone and still may be. He has dated other people and compares them to the one he loved. Mark says he needs time to fall in love. Lindsey needs consistency and for someone to be patient and show they care. Mark is such a good guy. Lindsey needs to tone it down. When it comes to the are you following in love question, Lindsey says that if she had been asked that a week ago she would have said yes. She feels abandoned by him. I am actually learning a lot watching this relationship. I’m a lot like Lindsey. Once I feel abandoned I shut down and I am done. I don’t take into consideration why I was “abandoned.”
Lindsey Is Unhappy With Her Sex Life
Poor Mark. He takes Lindsey out for sushi because she loves it. He hates it and she keeps trying to force feed him. Mark thanks her for all the kind things she does for him. He apologizes for making her feel unappreciated She is appreciated. They make up. Again. But, don’t think either of them really knows why the other was angry. So, the cycle will probably just keep repeating. Later, she takes him to a batting cage and he teaches her how to play baseball and ride go carts. As we begin the next episode, Lindsay in on a huge facetime screen telling her friend all the details of her sex life, or lack thereof with Mark. Well, dear, you and Mark were great until you got too comfortable and embarrassed him in front the other couples. Her friend tells her she needs to tone things down. She’s not going to listen.
It’s time for an visit from Dr. Coles. Lindsey immediately starts trashing Mark’s sexual abilities. The therapist tells Lindsey she is being super rude. The both think they trust the other, but their spouse doesn’t trust them. The therapist says she sees a lot of hitting below the belt. She doesn’t mention it is just Lindsey. I’ve never seen Mark do that. On the next episode, Lindsey sets up a nerf gun fight in the house. They loved it. Then, they get a gift basket from Dr. Pepper with a silent game to work on their intimacy. Lindsey takes a ball gag out of the basket and puts it on him and one on her. Lindsey tells Mark as she is lying in bed, she wants to be “wooed.” In my opinion, she doesn’t deserve to be wooed right now.
Jasmina & Michael
Michael takes Jasmina for a picnic and brings gifts. They are all for Mr. Feeney, her dog. Wahwahwaaaahh. Mr. Feeney is the best thing on this shit show. Then these two try to talk about the apparently theme for this episode, communication. It causes them to not be able to talk. Michael is actually trying. Jasmina is overly sensitive about Michael at times. Probably because he can be very aggressive at times so his tone makes her defensive. Michael tells Jasmina that it was the anniversary of his brother’s death. Jasmina says she has been in love three times… and a possible. Michael says one and a possible. His possible was in high school. The other was his last girlfriend. When asks what it takes to fall in love, he says, it would take him to be vulnerable with someone. Jasmina asks what is stopping him from doing that. He says they need more communication.
Jasmina set up “a gym” in the apartment to connect with Michael and the last station is about vulnerability. Michael tells the very sad story about how he found out his brother died. Later, Jasmina says that she needs Michael to communicate with her more. Jasmina laughs when Michael shares an embarrassing childhood story. He looks hurt and sorry that he even tried to be vulnerable. When the therapist arrives, we find out these two are not having sex. And this causes them both to be angry. The therapist suggests Michael journal to get his feelings out. Have these two not even kissed? The therapist seems to think she has cured the problem.
After she leaves, Michael says that journaling seems to be a good idea. He wants to write things down and share with her. She says she doesn’t want to journal but he can. They fight about that. Michael is trying to introduce a new tool (that was suggested by the therapist) to help their communication. She turns away, rolls her eyes, and literally leaves the apartment to stand in the hallway. Apparently, Jasmina is not only not the problem, but she is unwilling to try a possible solution. The producer went out get her and she told the producer she was fine with the whole journal thing. Then, she goes back in and tells Michael she doesn’t want to do the journaling.
Jasmina keeps accusing Michael of what she is doing. And her tone is way worse than his. She is bratty and immature. But later, the therapist had another plan for them. Jasmina and Michael go to do tantric yoga. This was Dr. Coles idea to spark their intimacy. Then, they ask each other questions about their vulnerability and feed each other strawberries. Jasmina admits she needs to open up a safe space for Michael. The exercise goes very well and a later that night the have a good conversation in bed.
That was way too much to recap at once! Off to watch the afterparty shows. Or at least the first 30 minutes. The rest of the season looks dramatic! Do you think any of them will make it?