I haven’t really been doing 90 Day Fiance Before the 90 Days Recaps this season. I haven’t seen all of the episodes. It’s kind of become one of my Saturday show I don’t really pay that much attention to. But someone asked me and I was getting ready to watch so I will just do some commenting on the couples without the full blow by blow. Page views are ABYSMAL today, because I don’t really do more than an open forum on Saturdays. So if you are reading this, I really appreciate you. Frankly, these couples are just horrible pairings.
Usman & Kimberly
Where do they find all of these old white women willing to go to Nigeria for some black “Sojaboy” dick. Why do they all call themselves Soulja boy? I don’t get it. She finally got laid. Now he is her “boyfriend.” She is super happy. Usman says they had sex four times the night before. Where are they? I guess they went to the beach to film his video. Usman has a secret. Oh Lord. OMG! I just realized that THIS IS THE SAME USMAN! What happened to Baby Girl Lisa? I thought they go married! Sorry, I’ve been only half watching this season. It never occurred to me that the catfishes would be allowed to catfish again!
Later, these two go to a spice farm. I would love to go to a spice farm in Zanzibar. Since the baby title was already taken by Baby Girl Lisa, Kimberly is Queen Kimberly. Usman wants to tell Kimberly something he has been keeping from her. Like he was just on this show with another older white woman from the US doing the same thing? No, he wants to tell her that his song Zara is actually about his ex-girlfriend who is black and beautiful and age appropriate. I presume he will leave off those last bits. Was Zara before or after Baby Girl Lisa?
Ben & Mahogany
Good Lord, Ben has a makeup artist? He’s way too effeminate for me. But, Peru is beautiful. I watch these shows for the scenery and the fish markets etc. Ben is certainly attractive enough to date plenty of AGE APPROPRIATE women. The “boardwalk” however is more like a pier. Ben goes to Mahogany’s house to meet her parents. Only to find out her parents don’t live with her like she said. Here we go with the lies. There is a surfboard there. She doesn’t look like a surfer. She says it is just for decoration. Then she has a room with two bunk beds. Hmm. Ben knows she is lying. He doesn’t think this is where she lives. She did keep saying things like, “this is my house” and “this is my bathroom.”
Eventually, the parents show up at whoever’s apartment it is. During the conversation Ben learns that Mahogany is only 22. Not 24 as she had previously told him. Now he is even more concerned about her lying. She is busted and she knows it. Ben says needs to go back to his hotel. He has a daughter who is 22. He is sure that is not her apartment. He doesn’t trust her at all anymore.
Gino & Jasmine
Neither of these two have any redeeming qualities AT ALL. Panama is beautiful though and a great place to retire on a budget apparently. Neither one of these awful people can pack a suitcase. Later, These two fly inland so Gino can meet Jasmine’s Mother. She also has two kids who will stay with their father during his visit. While she takes a nap in the hotel, Gino goes jewelry shopping. Oh Lord. At least he buys super cheap one. Gino doesn’t even have a job. Jasmine is going to be pissed. LOL.
Gino is nervous about meeting Jasmine’s mother and her sister. They need the mom’s blessing to get married. Jasmine is trying to forewarn him that her mother is a bitch. Apple. Tree. Jasmine tells Gino she told her mom that she met him through a work conference from her job. Gino is bald and never wants to be seen without at hat. Jasmine’s mother is very religious and will probably want to pray and for that he will need to take off his hat. He says he will not do that.
Mike & Ximena
Ximena is a nasty excuse for a human who just wants Mike to pay for her plastic surgeries. She clearly can’t stand him and they are going wedding dress shopping. Someone needs to tell this female that models are not supposed to have big boobs. Mike is starting to figure out that all Ximena cares about is him paying for her plastic surgery.
Apparently, Mike and Ximena have been sleeping in the bed with her kids every night. So there is no intimacy at all. On this night she wants him to sleep in the other bedroom. He asks for the kids to be excused so they could talk. He asks if they are going to be intimate on this trip. She says no. That’s fine but you need to stop leading him on and asking him for thousands of dollars. Then, she tells him that she thinks he is weird. WOW. She’s basically annoyed by how kind and affectionate he is. I get it. He hovers. I hate that too. But, this is a conversation she should have had with him early on in the trip. And, she should never have asked him to pay for her surgeries.
Hell. She isn’t even dumping him. She’s saying she wants to wait to get married. He asks her if she loves him. She says no. He just needs to go to a nice resort forget all about her. Find someone age appropriate.
Next week: Things get even worse for all the couples.Hamza & Memphis
Ah Tunisia, such a beautiful country. Hamza needs to run away from this one. He tells her that he doesn’t trust her. He reluctantly agrees to sign the prenup so they can get married. But wait, Memphis has another secret from him. She spent four nights at her ex husband’s house when she first started “dating” Hamza. But, “Nothing happened.” So why tell him this? His response was “fuck this shit.” He did the real housewives reunion storm off from filming routine.
Finally, we are back in Tunisia! Hamza is still pouting. Memphis goes into the living room and Hamza’s mother tries to comfort her. His mother goes to talk to Hamza to find out what is wrong. The mother basically says, “I told you so.” She goes back to talk to Memphis. Hamza comes out and they start using the translator again. One or both of them needs to learn the other’s language if they want to be together. This is getting ridiculous.
Memphis goes to talk to him about whatever her personal issue was that required her ex to comfort her in private. She takes off her microphone. Twenty minutes later, they leave the bedroom. Hamza has both fists clenched. She’s crying. Apparently, the trauma was failing a state board test for something. I don’t believe her. She says her husband took care of her and the kids when she had bad depression.
Thanks for reading!