First of all, I didn’t realize I failed to do a RHOSLC recap for the finale until last night. My Spectrum DVR keeps listing new shows as old shows so they don’t record. So, not only did I not do a recap I didn’t see the show. I’m watching now on demand. I dislike watching things on demand because you can’t fast forward. We’re having yet another Celebration of Life memorial? I’d love to move on. I just didn’t want to miss how the season ended. So far, it looks like a dud. Another, photo shoot? Is Meredith’s vocal fry even worse that usual? Why is her hair long again? When can we stop talking about the sexual preferences of real housewives offspring? Make it stop!
Where Is Mary? Booking a Trip To Hell?
Okay, enough about this idiotic episode. Every scene is worse than the one before. Okay, here we go. I watched the first hour and a few minutes of American Idol and it has me all in my feels. Also, I’m not sure if Banjo has been out more than once today so that’s concerning. Wow. We start with Andy telling Jen that people said that Erika Jayne knew the questions in advance. That was not true. So, He just wants to let her know that in advance. No one gets the questions in advance. Especially not #FelonsByBravo. Meredith only watched the last two episodes the night before. That is when she saw Lisa Barlow’s insane rant against her.
Andy makes a joke about Meredith taking a long soak in the bathtub and she points out that Bravo put them in a hotel room without a bathtub. Are they at the Motel Six? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a hotel without a bathtub. Sadly, I’m more afraid of taking a bath these days than taking a shower. #OldPeople Problems. Somebody reminded me what racist stuff Jennie said to get fired? I need to work up some hatred for her apparently, but… she looks so innocent. 🙁 Why is Whitney only wearing one glove? All of these outfits are odd. And by odd I mean ugly. I’m starting to think it is the sound of my fast typing of recaps that makes Banjo have to pee. I just let him out. Sigh.
Andy Goes Right In on Jen Shah
Andy turns to Jen and starts right in saying she is facing charges of conspiracy to commit wire fraud with a 30 year maximum sentence and conspiracy to commit money laundering with a maximum of another 20 years. Jen says that this has been devastating to her and her family. She didn’t see the footage of the incident at her house (that she was hiding from) until it aired (actually, she saw it when they get the episodes sent to them prior to airing). Andy asked if she considered quitting the show (he never asked Erika that, IJS) and she said the family decided for her to continue. She claims she is innocent and needs to tell her story. Did she though?
Andy asked how her lawyers felt about her being at the reunion. She says they were “ecstatic.” I laugh along with a few of the housewives. Then, she admits they weren’t thrilled about it. Then, we go to a montage of all of Jen’s apologies. A “viewer” asks Heather how she could keep being kind to Jen after she called her “Shrek” and “Honey BooBoo.” Heather said it was just a bad joke and Jen apologized. Jen says plenty of people have said things and she is always the one getting the heat. Lisa is used as an example of saying crap behind people’s back and she denies it. PULEASE.
How Can Lisa Barlow Not Understand She’s A Bitch?
Remember when the show first started and Heather came on the show, wasn’t it Lisa Barlow who is Mormon related as double cousins on the father’s side or some shit and Heather wanted to be her friend at BYU but Heather thought she was too good for her? And wasn’t Lisa slamming Heater from day one? Is that a valid memory or my Covid brain? Heather feels like the hot mic incident is proof of Lisa Barlow’s character.
Meredith gets very emotional talking about Jen and her many betrayals. Meredith said that last winter she had a lot going on well beyond losing her father. She says the last time she say he father was on Facetime. She was fighting with her family. They couldn’t have a funeral. She had a nephew with mental health issues she could not talk about it. She was going through a lot. Then, there was all the drama about her father’s memorial. Meredith says that Jen was actually the nicest to her. Lisa Barlow says she has been rewriting history. She says she has to be perfect all the time or she is held to a different bar. Well, I get how she feels, but maybe she could be nice SOMETIMES?
On To Jennie, But Not In The Way You Think
Okay, again, there have been so many people fired and cancelled on these shows that is hard for me to remember who did what. What I do know is that Jennie was fired. But, at this point, Andy Cohen is asking Jennie, what it is like to be a POC on this show and in Salt Lake City. Jennie feels like people don’t accept her because of her Asian accent. No, honey. That’s not why. Lisa Barlow thinks Jennie is great! Jennie’s husband adjusted one of her kids AT TWO MONTHS OLD. WT EVERLOVING F? Andy Cohen seems mortified. Everyone else thinks that Jennie was a minion to Lisa Barlow. Lisa Barlow goes off because everyone thinks Jennie was a minion to Lisa because they know each other
Andy moves on to all the racist crap that Mary said this season. We all watched so I am not going to outline it and want to get back to singing to Banjo while watching American Idol. Jennie says talks about dealing with all the Asian hate during Covid and how it affected her. Jennie is pissed that Meredith didn’t stick up for her enough. Meredith hates Jennie. Meredith says that Jennie was so judgmental about Mary giving everyone expensive gifts she thought were regifted. But, she gave Meredith’s husband used golf balls as a gift. That’s kind of hilarious. Jennie says she will donate them to the clubhouse. He says they are not “Iconic enough” for his ratchet little TV show where he gets less views than most podcasts I follow.
Jennie & Mary’s Ignorance
Another “viewer” asks Lisa if Meredith was tolerant of Mary’s ignorance. Lisa said she was a bit shocked that Meredith wasn’t as vocal as she would have expected her to be. Meredith claims she did it behind the scenes. Now Banjo is throwing up. Or not. Just a weird noise? Not sure what is happening right now sorry. Next question, Jennie gets called out for using a “blaccent” when calling out Mary. I hate that neck rolling or finger waving is somehow suddenly a racial thing since RHOA. I’m eleventy billion years old and trust me, plenty of people, at least in the south roll their necks and wave their fingers. It does seem kind of weird to me that an Asian in Utah is doing it. This is an overreach.
Jennie doesn’t think her accent is black. I’ve never thought that. This is news to me. Her accent in my opinion is Asian. Why do I feel like I am defending the person who was literally fired for racism? I’m NOT. I was shocked by her behavior I just had to reread. We now move on to calling Mary racist. Heathers says that she didn’t think black people could be racist. Le sigh.
The Racism Issue
Everyone can be racist if that is what is in their heart. But every little thing is not racist. Sometimes people just don’t like someone! Racist people use racist slurs. They are not shy about being racist. Rolling your neck or your eyes is not being racist. Andy says that speaking with Mary she said black people cannot be racist. Apparently, Mary (who I think is a self-hating black women is totally racist against black and Asian people). Racism is everywhere. We don’t need to go looking for it around every corner and making mountains out of molehills. If you clicked the link, Mary wants to be white.
Andy says that he spoke to Mary and she told him that black people are incapable racist. ROFLAMO. Asians are racist, white people is racist, black people are racist. People of all races is are racist. It’s been this way from the beginning of time. I don’t get it. I live in a very mixed neighborhood and gets along. Love watching all the kids play together outside my window. We have a lot of kids here and skateboards are still a big thing.
By A Show Of Hands, Who Thinks Lisa Barlow Is the Pot Stirrer in The Group?
Andy asks who is the pot stirrer on the show? Jen says there is one on this couch and one on the other couch ( Whitney?). It’s time to go in on on Lisa. She denies having the caterers cancel Angie’s party. So sorry this recap is taking forever because I need to keep checking on Banjo. He’s acting weird. Anyway we are reminded that Lisa Barlow told Angie not to acknowledge her as her cousin ON CAMERA. Lisa Barlow tries to pull out receipts and hand them to Angie. Lisa Barlow is called out for calling people “inbred polygamist cousins.” There are receipts.
Heather and Angie just celebrated Angie’s birthday in Cabo. Seems like Angie is like the rest of us and prefers Heather. Andy points this out to Lisa Barlow and she says she’s happy. Heather says that John Barlow fronts having money. Lisa is a horrible person. She was always mean to Heather.
They ask about Jen Shah and her assistant’s accusations against her. I can’t even believe that was just last season Also, did Jen get a boob job? They are gross. Everyone says that Jen tells everyone not to talk about things on the show. Her boobs are AWFUL. I’ve never seen a worse boob. And finally it is Finish ED. I had a Killing Ever recap to do tonight but I am sorry, I am going to have to watch the rest of American Idol with my dog. And try again tomorrow. I love you all and thanks for always being there for me.