After last week’s episode hopefully we won’t have to even discuss Alyssa on this week’s MAFS recap. However, in the past some of these bad pennies just never go away. Maybe she could hang out with Todrick Hall. They both seem to share similar self-delusions. Well hell, five minutes in we already see the bitch. Chris has to tell his mother about the divorce. I hope that so many lovely and kind girls are sliding into his DMs. Later, we see Alyssa lie to her friend. Production posts the receipts of her hideous behavior.
Noi & Steve
Steve has been becoming the homemaker now that Noi has gone back to work. Steve tries to get Noi to calm down about his self-employment. He has resources. He can can do freelance work whenever he wants to. But, Noi still feels financially insecure about it. She has never been without a job. Steve and Noi bond in the kitchen about eating chicken feet growing up and how everyone thinks it is weird. Because it is weird. I feel weird trying to find fat back or hog jowls in the grocery store.
Anyway, these two are both cooking foods from their cultures for the housewarming party. Everything looks AMAZING. I had forgotten that Noi and Steve got each other the same gift on their wedding day. Noi’s conviction of having three kids comes up. Noi talks to his friends about the work issue. I think Noi is kind of missing the point when his friends point out that he has a network of people who want to hire him. Clearly, he is financially responsible and has the means to support himself. Why is she so tied to a forty hour work week working for someone else. When I stopped doing that, it was amazing. Self-employed people are employed people.
It’s Not About The Pasta!
Are these two really going to fight over a pot of noodles? Apparently, Steve has been doing all the cooking so Noi volunteered to make dinner. She is gluten-free, so he put on a pot of water for his regular noodles. But, Noi put her noodles in her pot and didn’t put his noodles in his pot. So he put them in. Then, he comes back and his pot is boiling over and over cooked. Noi takes he dog and leaves without telling him where she is going. She just says “Fuck this.” Really girl? Steve tries to text her and she is not responding.
Noi comes home with an attitude. The only contact they have had, if you want to call it that is Noi posting on her Instagram about how not settling for less than you deserve basically. WOW. She tells him that this was the first time she cooked for him and she found it to be really rude that he was pissed about his noodles. Really? You were the one “cooking” you couldn’t have watched his pot of noodles? That’s something that sends you running back to your apartment? How old is this one?
Katina & Olajuwon
Olajuwon meets with his friend to discuss Pastor Cal’s suggestion he consummate the marriage. His friend is very shocked that Olajuwon is so hesitant. He also mentions that Katina apparently doesn’t know how to grocery shop. His friend says he needs to quit overthinking everything. I feel like someone tells him that every episode.
Katina meets with her friend, Ariana. People are still freaked out by Olajuwon’s lap dance on the reception. Ariana said that he talks a lot. Like a lot a lot. That’s true. Ariana wonders if he talked so much at the reception to keep them from asking him questions. Nah, he just loves to talk about himself. I can’t believe that he has never dated a black woman. Apparently, he is biracial. I am so bad at knowing things like that. I would never have guessed he was half Irish!
Katina’s friends are coming in hot. They are not really fans of Olajuwon. Is one of them wearing an Olympic Medal? What is that? Katina tells her friends they have not had sex yet. His friends tell Katina that she’s doing the right thing by staying calm when he gets hot-headed. The friends on both sides are optimistic.
Lindsey & Mark
Mark and his male friend hang out to talk about Lindsey. Mark is getting a bit tired of Lindsey’s over the top personality. Especially when they are with the other couples. His friend tell him he needs to calmly explain to him that he would prefer they are more reserved in public. Then they invite everyone over to a pizza/housewarming party. They play a trivia game with their friends. Mark asks her friends how to rein Mark in public. Lindsey talks to Mark’s guests about how to get Mark to let her help him. Maybe back off from trying to take over his life all the time?
Jasmina & Michael
Michael goes to his sister, Claire’s apartment for advice on Jasmina. I have a problem with the way that Michael demands random apologies for no reason. He tends to misunderstand things here and there. Claire gives great place. She says Jasmina doesn’t trust him enough to let him in. Jasmina gets advice from her friend, Sam. Basically, it is exactly what Claire said. Jasmina doesn’t trust Michael. Also, Sam says that Jasmina always thinks she is right. So does Michael. That’s going to take some compromise.
Jasmina and Michael are having a taco night/housewarming. Michael is basically making what we used to call hunch punch back in the day. It’s mostly alcohol. He also wants to play games. Both Michael and Jasmina are VERY competitive. Overall, things seem to be going well. Michael seems to be genuinely interested in advice from Jasmina’s friends. So far, this housewarming is going the best.
The Group Event With All The Cast
It looks like everyone is going out together. Once again, Chris has to admit is he filing for divorce. Noi is acting like a petulant child. This should be interesting. It looks like they are going bowling. I’ve never seen bowling pins like this. Clearly, they have had liposuction. Lindsey announces that Mark had a taco for the first time. He didn’t know what it was. Someone asked if she blindfolded him, she said no, but she would in the bedroom.
The one that doesn’t look like Cynthia Bailey, Katina? says that Lindsey is always being inappropriate. Good Lord. It was a joke. Lighten up! Then they start talking about men leaving the toilet seat up. Lindsey wants to chime in but then Jasmina shuts her down. Clearly everyone hates Lindsey. I think she is hilarious. I guess it is an acquired taste?
Then the bitch arrives. Le sigh. They all show what they learned from Pastor Cal. Katina is kind of a bitch. Lindsey says that she’s learned you can’t have intimacy unless you have had conflict first and learned how to resolve it. Katina rolls her eyes. Lindsey asks why she is doing that. Katina says, “I’m not fixing to have conflict with you on camera again, girl. Stay over there.” Mark can’t take conflict. He just wants Lindsey to shut up around the group. Way to have her back Mark, she didn’t say anything outrageous.
Another Couple Down?
Then Chris, dropped the divorce bomb in the kindest way possible. Alyssa fake cries and said she tried her best. BITCH YOU DIDN’T TRY AT ALL! I’m waiting for the “I’m a good person” comment. No one believes her. Later Mark tells Lindsey that she should not have called Katina out for rolling her eyes at her. STAY OUT OF WOMEN’S BUSINESS, MARK! Mark has the nerve to say they are a team. Lindsey points out that she has been a team. Though all his bed bugs, homelessness and hazmat suits. It doesn’t look like he is on her team to me. Sorry NOT SORRY. I’m Team Lindsey. Mark seems to be out.
Lindsey retreats to the bathroom. At least two producers follow her. She says she is not coming out of the bathroom. She hates her husband. Then, she tells them that no other woman would put up with this treatment. She calls him a “pathetic loser.” She says she was all in until she is out. And once she’s out, she’s out. Again, I am Team Lindsey. But, that is a very unpopular opinion on Twitter. She is so loud that Mark and Chris can hear her shouting from the bathroom. She also insinuated that he sucks in bed and has small balls. But on the previews we see them going out to dinner together and getting along. Sort of. And every marriage seems to implode. Is this a season where no one stays together?
The After Party
I love Keisha Knight Pulliam. Tonight we have Chris, Katina and Steve. Chris is fine with his decision to divorce. It’s the best thing for him. Steve talks about his work life. I love that Keisha said self-employed and unemployed are two very different things. I believe I said that in my recap. Keisha asks if he has savings. He does. Chris says he did the exact same thing that Steve did and went on a two month trip. If you mind your finances, it’s perfectly fine to go on lengthy trips. Steve says Noi doesn’t even tell him what is going on with her.
The guys seem to really like Olajuwon. Katina’s mom likes him. Chris said that his friends saw some red flags right out the gate. She was self-absorbed at the wedding. They show Alyssa’s constant lies. Chris doesn’t seem to think that Alyssa will realize she was the problem when she watches the episodes. I agree. She is delusional. Next up is Lindsey’s horrific rant about Mark. Clearly, there is no recovery from that. Steve thinks he and Noi are making progress. Katina seems good with Olajuwon. Chris said that he doesn’t regret doing the show. But, he would not do it again.
Wow. That was A LOT. Am I the only one that is team Lindsey? I get her bathroom rant was horrific and there is no coming back from that. But, I do think that Mark could have been more understanding…