It’s finally time for a Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap. Also, I am going to try to knock this out quickly because my DVR thinks that tonight’s RHONJ episode is a repeat. I just realized it is not so I’m going to be late getting to that. There is a lot going on over here with the dog, my health, family crises, etc. My head really isn’t in the game all the way tonight.
So Many Hot Newbies
The show is starting and I’m suddenly excited and all in! This is just what I need after a difficult day. Gary is back. I miss the couple from the previous seasons. I used to follow their lives in Greece when they were doing private sailing trips. Sadly, I think they broke up. Daisey is also back to be chief stew. I honestly don’t remember her. Marcos is a brand new chef. He Venezuelan and kind of hot! Kelsie is a very pretty new deckhand. Gabriela is a new stew. She’s kind of adorable. At least for now. I think she could get a bit spicy. Ashley is the other stew. Tom is a new deckhand. Basically, all of these people are really hot. There is going to be a lot of sex going on.
Colin is back. At least there are some familiar faces. Captain Glenn calls a quick crew meeting. We get a reminder about what a bitch Daisy can be. The crew has a night to get to know each other but guests arrive the next day. Marcos has been a celebrity cook to the stars! What I am seeing is a LOT of really dominant personalities. The first guests will be a bunch of black realtors. Realtors are usually assholes. Believe me. I was one for a very brief time. I was way too young to be taken seriously. The grownups all used to use me to babysit their open houses. It was a lot of work for no money. I sold one house. To my sister. lol.
Preparing For The First Charter
Gabriella with all the hair is second stew. Ashley is third stew. With that all sorted out, it’s time to get some beers! Ashley and Tom are already into each other. Tom is cute in a preppie white boy from 1982 sort of way but with a British accent. Colin apparently has new girlfriend. I wonder what happened with the last one? He seemed very committed. Gary is also into Ashley. Tom is super immature. Or maybe that is what 23 is like. Ashley decides to shoot her shot with Gary instead. She asks Gary for a kiss when is drunk. Gary of course goes for it.
Tom is bunking with Captain Glenn. He took his pants off and is sleeping in just a t-shirt when he because nauseated and leaves the cabin to puke. He’s clearly a lightweight. He wraps himself in a sheet and goes to sleep on a bench in the crew mess. Captain Glenn has to get out of bed, put on clothes and go tell the other idiots to go to fucking bed. This is not a good start for the season. Or maybe it is for us? Tom apparently puked all over Captain Glenn’s cabin. Actually, that’s an exaggerated version of the story. The next morning everyone feels like shit. Tom wakes up not knowing how how he ended up naked in the crew cabin. Captain Glenn tells him he need to go clean all the vomit up in the head.
The Charter Guests Arrive
The guests actually seem nice so far. They already seem like a lot of fun. Realtors do know how to party. Marco’s food is a big hit. I wonder if Marcos is available to be my part time love, and chef. 🙂 He’s so hot. Dear God. What is the deal with Ashley’s (?) eyebrows. NOE. Just NOE. with the ginormous dark brows, girl! Ashley continues to throw herself at Gary. The guests are starting to get wasted. As one does. I think I’d probably be seasick. I don’t know why Marcos is nervous cooking for mere mortals after cooking for Beyoncé. His food is amazing.
Things seem to be going very well. The guests are in awe of Gabriela’s beauty. The guests keep wanting more food. OMG A KILLING EVE COMMERCIAL. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL IT COMES BACK! The guests are literally falling down drunk. Everyone goes down for the night except for Gabriela who still has one male guest to deal with. He’s a dick. She basically tells him she is gay. Is she though? This season looks amazing. This season looks amazing in the worst possible way. I’m all in. Off to recap RHONJ!