On this week’s MAFS Boston recap we finally move the couples into their new apartments. The funny thing is the episode this week says, “Four and a half couples move in with their new spouses.” I am so ready for this episode. It’s five am and I have not gone to bed yet. I’m going to start this recap because I am wide awake and feeling better than I have in weeks. It always seems to work that way. So, I’m going to at least get it started. The couples come straight from the airport to their apartments.
Lindsey & Mark
The minute they get into their apartment, Lindsey tells Mark to give her all of her his dirty laundry so she can do a load of wash. That could not wait until the morning? Lindsey and Mark go to his apartment wearing hazmat suits with gloves and masks due to the bed bug situation. They are throwing out a lot of things and basically moving him out. Then Mark goes to Lindsey’s place. She introduces him to all of her plants. They all have names. Wait, it just occurred to me that Mark is the realtor. Why is he renting from some pseudo mommy? Then, they combine their cats in the apartment. Lindsey’s are more aggressive than Mark’s.
The next time we see Lindsey, Mark is nowhere to be seen. His grandmother only weighs 70 pounds and is in bad shape. Also the landlord is making things worse again. Mark is really stressed out and Lindsey says she doesn’t know who Mark is right now. She says off camera Mark is very hot and cold with her, and it’s driving her insane. Oh noe! Later, at their apartment, they sit down for a talk. Only we are seeing Dickhead Mark. He’s glaring at her. Lindsey says she just needs a Pastor Cal to come. When he arrives, Lindsey is sitting alone on the balcony. Lindsey says that Mark went from being open and honest with her to not sharing with her and their sex life has stopped to the point where he won’t even hold her hand.
Wow. I did not see that coming. Mark tries to deny it. Pastor Cal stops him and says to let her get it all out. She says that she is hurt because it went from all to nothing. She is furious. Mark gets emotional. He says that whatever it was that Lindsey did on plane on the way to the honeymoon was brought up. I have no idea what his issues are. Neither does Lindsey. Apparently, Pastor Cal speaks Mark. Or not. I thought he as going to interpret Mark for us. Finally, Mark says that he needs to be able to get through some things the way he normally would with Lindsey trying to micromanage the situation. AH. Now we are getting somewhere. He doesn’t need or want her to fix everything. That’s the problem.
Katina & Olajuwon
The first thing Olajuwon says is they need to go get groceries so she can cook for him. Katina is feeling the pressure. The next day they go to Olajuwon’s house. He’s very proud of it. But, Katina is not impressed. But, she seems to think she could fix it up. Pastor Cal shows up and they talk about Olajuwon tying Katina tied to the stove. Pastor Cal talks about how how Olajuwon didn’t support Katina on their horseback riding date. They have not had sex. Olajuwon isn’t ready because “what if it don’t work.” I guess he means the relationship and not his dick. Katina feels a bit rejected. Pastor Cal tells him to go for it.
Noi & Steve
These two basically just fall into bed. The next day Steve goes to Noi’s apartment and meets her dog, Sushi. Steve is not a dog person. He gets nauseous if he has to pick up dog poop. Also, he’s not thrilled that Noi insists that the dog sleep in the bed with them at the apartment. Steve’s apartment is nice, for a bachelor pad. He has LED lights in every room in the house. They change colors. Noi is not amused.
Pastor Cal comes for a visit and the only issue they disagree on is number of children. He wants two, she wants three. She says that is a deal breaker for her. Noi is worried about Steve’s employment situation. She grew up in a refugee camp and was very, very poor. Noi says that she is scared about having financial instability. Steve says he has plenty of freelance options and has no problem making money.
Alyssa & Mark
Mark moved to the apartment alone. YAY! Unfortunately, I don’t think we have seen the last of her. Mark meets with his best friend of his for some frisbee golf. Mark tells his friend about the psychic and the eagle tattoo nonsense. His best friend is a cop! When he tells him that Alyssa freaked out over his whole “defunding the police” views, she was not willing to listen to him about what that would look like.
Meanwhile, Alyssa meets with her mother at a small café. Alyssa literally says to her mother, “You haven’t seen the way he treats me.” You mean when he is kind and he listens and tries to get you to talk to him? She’s projecting her behavior on to him. She tells her mother that one of her big issues is HIS LACK OF RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE! She really needs to be in a locked mental ward somewhere. Also, not surprisingly, she is a Trumper. She didn’t like a post he made on IG about defunding the police. She doesn’t know what defunding the police means. That’s because the left did a very poor job of presenting their plan. I bet her mother’s jaw dropped when she watched the episodes.
Later these two meet with Pastor Cal. Mark says Alyssa rejected him from the get go. And she did. Pastor Cal is not buying it. Then she starts listing reasons why they can’t live in the same apartment. The both have big dogs. But, also she is allergic to dogs. She makes no sense. Then Mark tells Pastor Cal, “This is my decision day.” He wants a divorce. YES! Mark. YES!
She fake cries replete with the triangle Kleenex. He basically calls her out for just wanting to be on TV. She denies it. She leaves saying she is not a bad person and she just wanted to be treated with respect. Does she believe the things coming out of her mouth? She really needs in-house mental heath care. She’s utterly delusional and not a good actress. Chris will be FLOODED with women wanting to meet him.
Jasmina & Michael
Michael is also moving into the apartment alone. She has all sorts of excuses mostly she needs to find more daycare for her dog. Why not just bring the dog to the apartment? Also, why didn’t she plan for this? Jasmina admits she is really taking a couple of days to clear her head. Jasmina goes to Michael’s apartment. Michael has two roommates. Jasmina is pissed that Michael has a female roommate and never told her. She only found out because she saw her in the house. Then she finds out that BOTH of his roommates are female. Wow.
Pastor Cal shows up for a “therapy session.” It’s clear they have issues. Jasmina says that Michael is disrespectful when he talks to her and that it is even worse off camera. Michael totally lies and says that does not happen. Jasmina doubles down. Pastor Cal says that when Michael speaks to her disrespectfully, she should respond with, “I am not your enemy.” Where is the Pastor Cal who read Chris the riot act last season. We need him in this situation.
Next time: It’s the housewarming parties with friends and family. We always learn a whole lot at those. Also, there is trouble in paradise with Steve and Noi. Noi apparently ghosted him and posted on her Instagram that the relationship was not working. Mark and Lindsey continue to butt heads. 🙁