Based on the previews alone this is RHOC recap is going to be more aging women getting wasted and falling down. And of course the arguing and the backstabbing. I still can’t believe that women at this age still don’t know how to behave on a vacation. Or on TV where their kids can watch. None of them have even a modicum of decorum. Yet, here we are tuning in again. Le sigh.
Falling Down Drunk Times Six
I’m so sick of Heather coming after Noella for giving her “child” a deck of cards. The child is 17, has been openly talking about her sexuality for months before “her book” release. She marketing her sexuality. Heather can’t stop talking about her sexuality. But, getting a racy deck of cards is an issue? Bitch, please. Gina is friend jumping AGAIN. First, she left Emily in the dust, then it was Noella, and now she has landed on Heather. Emily is still team Gina. Gina has stormed off and Noella tells Emily to go check on her. Everyone is CRAZY drunk. Heather and Emily bitch about Noella.
Tequila Shannon gets up to bartender and serves Noella and Jen more drinks. Emily returns because she left her purse. She ends up falling off her chair. Shannon falls on top of her and it is all a ridiculous Mess that is impossible to recap. The next thing you know we are all back in the OC and the women are giving their partners their vesion of events. Jen and her daughter go for mani/pedis. Jen asks her daughter what she thinks about the nanny. She tells her “she is like a mother.” Off knife to the heart. Meh, I hate Jen anyway.
Ugh. A Heather Scene
Heather and Emily meet up for drinks. Heather invites Emily to go to New York with her family. Of course she is thrilled. I am not a Gina fan this season. She’s way too far up Heather’s ass. Heather says she really likes Gina because she is so authentic. Opposites attract I guess. I’m not sure that there is a more pretentious person in the world. Gina was nice to Noella until Heather didn’t like her. Now, she is flipping on Noella because there is no more room in Heather’s ass.
Oh, I like Shannon and John together. And I love that he has a boat. Shannon is hosting a dinner party at John’s house. Heather and Terri are the first couple to arrive. Emily and Shane are next. It looks like just the six of them on John’s boat. Apparently, Shannon’s mother had a nice boat when she was growing up. Shannon is the deckhand. Why isn’t Gina on this boat ride? As far as she is up Heather’s ass you would think she would be there. This will break her little heart.
A Three Hour Tour….
So off the three couples go on a sunset dinner cruise. Shannon is John’s deckhand. She’s not bad at it. This seems like a good match. They pull the boat up to a place with a chef cooking on the hibachi. And they bring their drink and charcuterie boards on as well. This actually looks like a lovely evening. Except Heather and Terry are there. Except for the sake part. I tried it once and had the worst most horrific gas of my life. Never again. Sorry, TMI. I also do not like sushi. For some reason, the topic moves to bad relationships with their parents. Jesus. John, Terry and Emily talk about their crappy fathers. UGH. These people always have the worst dinner conversations.
And just like that we are abruptly off to The Quiet Woman. It’s just Emily and Shannon so far. It seems like the conversation will be about Noella. But then, Noella arrives. Emily tries to get things worked out between Gina and Noella. I don’t see that happening. She’s team Heather all the way. Emily says that Jen told her when Noella and her husband first got married she gave him a gift of a “stack of vaginas.” Huh? Orgy? Sounds like it to me. All girls one guy. She shares photos we did not need. Le sigh.
Heather comes over to Jens house and brings pineapples and a corer and serves champagne in them. I would enjoy that. Jen talks to Heather about Ryne. The divorce writing is on the wall. Jen realizes she is working to much and that her kid thinks the nanny is her mother. We suddenly shift right over to Emily’s “game night.” It’s an all cast event. Gina and Noelle are a little bit awkward with each other. Especially when Noella mentions she is wearing leopard print and says she thought Gina would like it because it is “very Jersey.” What in the holy hell is Shannon wearing? I can’t even describe it. These games are also too stupid to describe.
Then Shannon, Emily and Noella recreate the vagina stack but with clothes on. Gina and Noella get into it because Gina just wants to be friends with Heather now. Later, we see the demise of another marriage. These two seem to hate each other. Is she really jealous of the dog? Ryan doesn’t want to have the conversation on camera. She tries to make him come back. But, he is not having it and takes his little dog and leaves. Presumably until the cameras are gone. This marriage is over.