This Summer House recap day snuck up on me! I was feeling better until I just realized Austen is coming to the house this week. Blech. For those waiting with baited breath wanting to know if Craig and Krisitin Cavallari are still “fucking”, the answer is of course. Craig smooth-talks Paige into not being upset about that. Robert leaves the house after having a nice anniversary. Mya reiterates to Paige that Craig gas-lit the shit out of her. Paige admits she feels hurt knowing Craig is sleeping with someone else. Not breaking the house rules, Paige will still go with it. Lindsay is still pissed at Craig for screaming at her. Linday asks Carl about Ciara. Carl says he will not pursue anything with Ciara. That sound you hear is us breathing a collective sigh of relief!
Ignoring All The Signs!
The gang goes to a pool party. Single Lindsay flirts with a hot guy at the bar. She’s loving single life. Amanda says that if she and Kyle aren’t meant to get married, there will be a sign. Girl. Kyle is a walking billboard yet you ignore that sign. So whatever. Craig half apologizes to Lindsay for screaming at her. I wish I had the word count ability to write how funny Lindsay is in this episode. She’s just living her best buzzed life. Craig is on a half ass apology tour. Paige tells Ciara that she’s hurt that Craig is sleeping with someone else. She likes him and doesn’t like that she’s not the only one he’s with. I mean, Paige met Craig. She watched Southern Charm. She knows he’s sleeping with other people. She’s just pissed that it’s with a rich, B-list person.
Back at the house, Mya is preparing a feast for everyone. She loves to cook and credits her dad for it. Luke calls Danielle, who was sleeping by the pool. Luke will be joining the gang next weeke! Ciara takes Lindsay outside to talk. When Craig said that Lindsay and Austen have been sleeping together for 4 years, it made her nervous. Lindsay tells her that there is nothing happening with her and Austen. Paige walks around ignoring Craig, LOL. Amanda tells Craig that he embarrassed Paige, that’s why she isn’t talking to him. Andrea begins to swoop in,kissing Paige. Paige can get hot people too, damn it! Lindsay and Danielle go out while everyone else gets in the hot tub. Well, Mya and Craig are talking upstairs. They bond over being non-partiers. Lindsay and Danielle came back without Lindsay hooking up with the hot guy from the bar.
Back To NYC
Back in the city, we learn that Mya is a restaurant consultant by day, baker by night. This girl has her shit together. She and Danielle should have a boss bitch spin off. Paige talks to her mom about her Craig/Andrea predicament. Mama is team Andrea. She loves her Italian friend. Her mom sees the red flags with Craig. She warns her daughter not to ignore red flags so early on. We all know that her good advice fell on deaf ears. Andrea is modeling. He says he wants to settle down and get married. I don’t know if what he’s saying is true or not, but he seems sincere. Oh our Paige. I’m hoping Craig has turned all his fuck boys ways off and is good to Paige. Mostly because I can’t watch another beautiful Summer House woman in an awful relationship. Just no.
It’s Amanda’s birthday weekend! Amanda is discussing marriage and children with her fiance, who looks like he’d rather be run over by a Lover Boy truck. It’s a 90’s party to celebrate Amanda’s big day. Luke is back! He meets Mya, which seems weird. It seems like she’s been a part of the House forever. Speaking of the 90’s, who else CANNOT WAIT for the Super Bowl halftime show this year? I’ve already warned the zoo that Mommy is gonna real fucking weird! Lindsay gives Amanda a pogo stick. Luke gives her a donation to the dog rescue that Amanda rescues from. We are adopting a dog from a rescue in Texas (Addicus Legacy). Our little girl has three legs with a heart the size of the moon. These rescues are nothing short of amazing. It’s why I can never fully dislike Kyle or Amanda since they foster rescues.
What did her fiance get her, you ask? Nothing. Jesus Mary and Joseph, this guy! Everyone plays spin the bottle. Alex and Ciara have an intense kiss. Ciara says he’s a good kisser. Lindsay tells Paige about a new guy she’s seeing. Paige can’t keep track of Lindsay’s guys. She tells Lindsay that Kyle was supposed to book a trip for Amanda as a gift but didn’t. Paige tries to help Kyle, to no avail. She booked the Bahamas but Kyle realized his passport expired during Covid. Trip canceled. This is when it’s easy to dislike him. Danielle and Lindsay leave so Lindsay can hook up. Mya wanted to go but Lindsay said no. The girls rally around a sad Amanda. She feels like the night felt forced. Kyle is nowhere to be found. Paige ditches the pity party to hook up with Andrea. Yes!
On Next week’s Summer House recap: They all get drunk at a beach. Lindsay gets friendzoned. Paige and Andrea heat up. Amanda wants a dog. Kyle says it’s because he can’t make her happy. Mya tells the house something big. Ciara cries. That’s the recap! Thank you all for reading. As always, the fun happens in the comment section. See you there!