Before I even start this RHOC recap, I have to say I do find the episode title intriguing. Wednesday nights are going to be TRIPLE recap nights for a while. It’s a lot. I need to start planning and doing set ups a lot early in the day so emails and other stuff tend to fall behind. It’s a one woman show over here most of the time. Tonight we pick up back in Mexico where all the ladies are drunk. Especially Emily who for some reason is drinking A LOT this season.
I’m Already Over This
While the girls are off on their trip, Terry Dubrow has no one to brag to and needs camera time. Thus we have a ridiculous guys night out for him to pontificate. Shane seems as annoyed as I am. It’s the Terry show. Shane is not paid enough. Meanwhile, the women all need to be cut off. Shannon seems very happy with John. They seem to work together well. They have sort of a plan to move somewhere together after her kids all fly the coop. Shannon is kind to Noella, but everyone else seems … jealous. Gina and Emily are both pissed at Shannon for being kind to Noella. Gina randomly keeps saying she is totally fine after Heather asks if she is okay.
These women are all wasted. Like someone is going to have to help them all find their rooms wasted. For some reason Emily has tied a napkin around her head. Look. I drink way more than I should. I’m not here to condemn them for getting wasted on a trip to Mexico. It happens. But, do they not see these episodes and feel embarrassed? I have felt embarrassed many a time and most of those times my biggest sin is drunk dialing or forgetting my room number to my hotel room. This is bad. None of this makes sense. Noella says that the others are acting like children. They are just looking for reasons to hate Noella. So the party is over. Gina and Emily both stumble off thus ending the evening. Sort of. Gina seems to think she is being kind to Noella.
I Shall Continue To Ignore Heather’s Scenes As Much As Possible
Heather is going to pretend she is looking at ginormous houses in Cabo. The other group is going to the Sweat Lodge. So I am signing up for the sweat lodge. Thanks for the option Bravo. It looks like it is just Gina, Emily and Noella going with me. Noella! You in danger girl! These bitches don’t like you! She tries to make amends. If any trio could use a sweat lounge at this point, it’s these three are still drunk and still drinking the next morning. They can’t even get out the door of the house.
I want to go to a sweat lodge. My soul needs a cleansing. That usually happens in a very old Catholic church in Paris. It’s been a while. My soul is probably as dirty as my ghetto shack. 🙁 Emily is already emotional. I would be too. It’s 102 degrees in there. Emily cries more in the sweat lodge. Noella says thata wave of sadness is coming out of her. Hmmm. Sometimes in Paris, I am lucky enough to enter an empty church and just be when the organist is practicing. I sob like my Mama just died in front of me. It’s oddly a great feeling that I don’t get anywhere else. WAY BETTER than therapy. Then, suddenly Noella, who weighs like 75 pounds soaking wet passes out. Production rushes in.
Let It Go
Production carries her out to a bed and tries to cool her down. She is crying hysterically. Sometimes that just needs to happen. I wish people were not so mean to Noella. She has a bad headache. The Mexican lady keeps trying to tell them to give her some space. Gina and Emily finally go to hydrate and Gina is crying and ripping off her lashes. You know it is bad when a housewife rips off their lashes. Gina is an empath and can’t handle all of the emotions she is absorbing. I totally understand that. Noella comes to join them. Emily is still crying in her talking head. They all had a lot of emotions to release. Gina absorbed what Emily and Noella were releasing in my opinion. They decide to go back to the house and shower and lay by the pool. They all pass out in bed.
Later, at the beach, Noella learns that all the other ladies flew on a private plane to Cabo and she flew commercial. That is just mean. Emily and Gina both tell Noella to basically not be herself around Heather. Noella is confused that these two are rimming Heather Dubrow’s ass. Then, the conversation turns to girl on girl sex. Emily and Noella are down and Gina seems shocked. No one sexual resumé shocks me. I have a lengthy one of my own. From the stone age. When I still had sex. Sorry for the overshare. One thing I have no experience with is working out on vacay like Jen. I’m really not interested in Jen and neither is Ryan. It’s the unraveling of Jen’s marriage. Clearly, he has moved on.
Please Get Us The Hell Out Of Mexico
I’m so over this episode and frankly the entire season. Please make it stop. Also, do these people not kow what RESORT WEAR IS? If these women went to any of the fancy places I have been, they would realize that silver sequenced mini dresses and the like are not appropriate. Neither are dresses accentuating your saggy tits. That’s what housewives inexplicably wear to reunions. It somehow expected there. It’s Mexico. It’s a vacation. Let the girls flop and and drop under a tropical long dress! Oh Lord they are going to a tequila tasting. NOE. Just NOE. I can’t drink tequila. And neither can Emily.
Somehow the conversation with Heather and Jen turns to C-Sections. Again, this is not table talk. Then, Heather feels compelled to counsel Jen on her marriage. Just STFU, Heather. Ryan is over Jen. Period. End of discussion. She told him she loved him on the phone and she did not reciprocate. Shannon chats with Noella about the night before that most of them can’t remember. Shannon oddly tries to advocate for Noella who doesn’t need or want her help. Then, Noella finally tells Heather that she was a “pity invite.” Heather says she didn’t want to invite her because she gave her daughter “pornography as a gift.”
And here we go. Heather doesn’t want to discuss it. Jen needs to STFU. Shannon starts screaming. Heather reads things from her phone about the card deck that Noella gave her kid. Noella is horrified. She had no idea. Why does Heather have all this shit on her phone. Noella apologizes. But, Heather will never let her forget it.
Next week: It looks like Emily and Gina bail on Noella. Also, I probably will not recap Gina on WWHL in the comments. If I do it will be after I recap TAR. Also I have half a black history post ready I hope to get up soon. Wednesdays are A LOT!