I was completely blindsided by the fact that I need to do a RHONJ recap tonight. My body is not ready. It took forever to pull photos and do set ups. My brain is mush. Mushier than usual. I’m out of dogfood and am now a short order cook for Banjo. I just really want to go back to bed and I didn’t get out of bed until 4 p.m. today. And now I have to deal with Jersey? Keep your expectations even lower than usual. 🙂 But I am glad you are all here to talk about this season with me. Let’s get this party started.
Lucy, You Got Some Splainin’ To Do!
Oh yay! The teaser for the season is full of physical altercations and screaming. Le sigh. Teresa’s has ordered “sangwiches” for her kids to eat outside in the rain. Is this over yet? Teresa’s girls are all grown up for the most part. They don’t seem very excited to be moving in with Louie and his adult son. Teresa talks about having a Welcome To Summer Party. She has to invite her brother and Melissa. But her girls, especially Gia, are still pissed about things he said months about about their dad. We shall see how that goes. I do not care about the neverending home renovations at Dolores’s house or who Franking is fucking. This is like the millionth season of the same thing.
I spent way too long trying to find the video that is about to be the hot topic. I remember watching it, and it was creepy and weird. But, I don’t remember much (duh) but is was a bunch of half naked men on a beach being creepy. There was talk everyone about what a creep Louie is. But, hey. Teresa is going to move her doiters in with him and his spawn. Jackie is headed over to Margaret’s house to talk about the latest creep factor regarding Louie.
Keep Your Nose Out Of It
Next Melissa and Joe head to dinner. There we meet the newest cast member Traci Johnson and her husband Tiki Barber. Tiki is a former NFL player and a current commentator. They all seem to have serious concerns about Louie. As they should. Teresa and Louie have already bought a house together. It’s right next door to the house that the Gorgas just moved out of. Meanwhile Jennifer, who is married to plastic surgeon got a nose job, and her chin implant removed on a trip to Turkey. Bill refuses to do any more work on her because she is the worst patient he’s ever had. Everyone has been attacking Jennifer on social media.
Joe Gorga is irritated that Teresa’s girls are not speaking to him. Teresa is also made about a comment he made on one those Real Husbands of New Jersey events when asked about the crazy video with Louie. Joe doesn’t want to go the the summer party (Summer’s Eve party? LOL). Joe and Melissa eventually decide to come after Teresa asks them to. Meanwhile, Teresa is preparing for her big pool party. Everyone still hates Jennifer Aydin this season. So, they are all coming for her again. I feel sorry for her. Her family isn’t very nice to her either.
The Pink Elephant In The Pool
Luis apparently had a late call time for the pool party so that he could stroll in while everyone is talking about him. He’s wearing a white undershirt and jeans. Based on the video, I guess we should be grateful he is wearing clothes at all. The guys all talk about the weird video where Luis is naked in a group of naked girls and Louie is apologizing to an ex girlfriend about something. So creepy! Meanwhile, Teresa is pretending like nothing has happened. Margaret tells Teresa that Louie needs to address the video situation. She is not having it.
Margaret tells Teresa that everyone is just concerned about her and wants the best for her. Teresa says she is a big girl and she can handle it. She’s an ex con. So, there is that. Spoiler alert Teresa and Louie are engaged. Jennifer and Bill arrive to face the angry mob. They are already trashing her before she even gets there. They all seems to have good reasons. The immediately start trashing her nose job.
Jennifer asks Jackie why she is mad at her. Apparently, Jennifer tries to break up her relationship with Margaret. Jennifer cries. So, Jackie forgives her. Then, Jennifer and Margaret get into it. Jennifer has been awful to these women. Now she is upset that they don’t want to be her friend? The Margaret announces that Bill had an affair with someone from his last office and that’s why he had to change jobs. Oh here were go…
I guess I will comment on Teresa on WWHL in comments since we are being forced to record it. It really messes up my schedule though. I’m sure we will here about her recent trip to Aspen with Louie. They were there at the same time the RHOBH were filming there last week.
Here is the video.