Before we get to tonight’s RHOC Recap, I have few things to report. Today, I received multiple emails about “Dr. Jen.” They were lengthy and actually had me wondering if she is even a doctor of any sort. My family suffered a tragic loss today. A much beloved Matriarch of the family passed away. We don’t agree about much in my family, but this loss was a huge blow to all of us. So, I’m just going to give you the short version about Jen. She has a TON of lawsuits many were from lack of payment on goods or services rendered. A couple are for “malpractice and battery” due to procedures that left two patients disfigured. WHY DO THESE PEOPLE GO ON REALITY TV???
The other thing I have to report, is that I talked to my source about the disappearance of Nicole. Source didn’t indicate it had anything to do with Heather. Instead I was told, “She just isn’t what the suits were looking for.” It was implied that she didn’t do enough. I’m skeptical about this answer, to be honest. But my source would know.
Welcome to Emily’s Hangover!
These taglines are so antithetical to who these people really are. LOL. Especially “Dr.” Jen. Wow, that sounded like a lot of gunshots in the hood tonight. Wondering if I should turn my light off and recap in the dark. Not even kidding. Anyway, Emily is suffering from a huge hangover after her excessive drinking last week. I really don’t recall her as being a huge drinker so I’m wondering what is going on with her. Currently, she is meeting up with Jen and Nicole to go swimsuit shopping. AKA on of life’s worst kinds of shopping for some of us. But these girls all look great. Nicole is trashing Noella and says she is not going to Cabo if Noella is going.
It’s time for the start of the show, Archie. Archie is not happy that Shannon is packing to go somewhere. Shannon is concerned about Emily and Gina not being nice to her on the trip. But, somehow, Shannon thinks Heather is her friend? Oh, girl…. NO! Gina goes over the the crypt to visit the evil one. Her mission is to convince Heather to invite Noella on the trip. Newsflash, it is not up to Heather. Why are they filming in her ridiculous “closet.” It’s so inappropriate given all the homeless people in the area. Gina doesn’t want to leave Noella alone during this difficult time. Apparently, Noella gave Max a very sexual card game for her birthday. Get over it Heather. Heather agrees to invite Noella.
A Private Jet To Cabo
Gina, Emily, Jen, Shannon and the wicked witch get on a private plane to Cabo. Noella will fly in at a later date. The house is more like a group of individual casitas. Wise move, production. After the evil one takes the best room, the others go to fend for themselves. Emily and Gina get a cute casita to share. Apparently, they will be sharing a bed. You don’t see that on RHOA! Shannon, Emily and Gina go horseback riding. Emily and Shannon both know how to ride. It all went well. Especially if you think about all the camel rides gone wrong on other franchises. 🙂 Meanwhile Jen doesn’t know how to hold a fork.
The horseback riders have champagne on the beach and talk about Noella’s impending arrival. Shannon is worried about how things will go with Noella and Heather. My prediction is, “Not well, bitch.” Gina is optimistic about a positive outlook. She’s so cute. I love that Noella is not impressed by Heather and could really care less about her. I’m literally watching commercials. That’s how little I have to this episode. I am enjoying this threesome separated from the other two. They are cooling off in their pool. Fun Shannon is on the scene. Noella claims that she is having a problem with her passport. That’s not a thing. It’s either valid or it’s not. But she makes it.
The Wild Card
No one greets Noella, but she is just fine having a margarita with the bartender. Gina calls Noella a “wild card” just before she arrives. I guess that explains the title of the episode. Ah, Noelle was trying to use a passport card instead of her actual passport. That doesn’t usually fly (no pun intended) for international travel. Noella is also used to flying private. So, this is her first trip in a long while flying commercial. Bless her heart. Noella wants her tequila chilled. This seems reasonable to me. It’s hot as balls there. I wouldn’t be doing shots of anything let alone tequila. Bring me a couple of ice cold beers Not warm tequila.
Of course Heather is already offended. Frankly, Heather is just perpetually offended. Let the girl order her own drinks for fucksake! Heather doesn’t like the other women being nice to Noella. Why is she so jealous of Noella? Jen hates Noella too. Noella feels like Heather has wound Nicole up to come after Noella. Noella ordered a full dinner, but clearly she doesn’t eat and somehow that became an issue. Whatever. This petty backbiting is pointless.
I’ll watch WWHL later, I really need to get to my happy place, The Amazing Race. right now. I need the RHOC antidote. 🙂 The rest of the season looks shocking. Jen’s husband leaves her. Noella has some sort of mental and physical breakdown, Shannon thinks Gina is getting a big ego. Hmmm wonder where she learned that. Noella and Heather continue to butt heads. See you in comments later!