I’m not sure what is going on with Bravo’s PR team, but more and more often they just show the first five minutes of the show and maybe another minute from later in the show. This is not helpful. With regard to tonight’s RHOC recap, I plan on just ignoring Heather’s scenes. Sorry, not sorry. It’s just all a bunch of self promotion and self aggrandizing. The Dubrows, are as we called them in the old days, “shit people.” (Shout out to my Sucksters) Don’t believe me? Guess what Terry Dubrow of the really appalling yelp reviews is up to now. Did you guess he is selling home Covid tests on a janky home shopping network at a 150% markup? Didja see this one coming?
Just to repeat. The Dubrows are SHIT PEOPLE. So I’m going to ignore their bullshit as much as possible this season. Once again, Bravo should be ashamed for bringing these scummy awful people on the show again. I’m not interested in a word they say. But hey, let’s get on with this. I’m so tired! And it is finally time for the first recap of the night. There is a lot going on over here with criminal news and weird shit. I just want to sleep, but THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
Is Literally Everything The Heather Show?
Oh look, we start with Heather trying to shill her kids book. NOPE. I do love that Heather has blobby chakras. Moving on. I would like to point out that most people are neither nor straight. Everyone falls somewhere on the Kinsey Scale. I’m probably a two. lol.
Noella tells Gina that Sweet James is in Mikonos. Gina has no idea where that is. #PoorPeople on the housewives are annoying. I’m completely annoyed with people who don’t travel. Or at least know where they don’t get to travel to. Did the RHOC never go on an overseas trip? It’s like these fools don’t even have passports. EVERYONE needs a passport. Even if you don’t plan to travel internationally. If for some reason we all need to flee, you ain’t got no time to get a passport. Listen to Sweet Brown…
Heather, Jen and Emily go to a sauna. How did Emily get lumped in with these Shysters? Jen spins lots of stories about how her ex claimed his paying for her med school was a loan. I love Emily eating a turkey sub in the sauna. Emily is one of the few redeeming qualities of this show. Then this trio goes to a nail salon. STFU Heather. You too “Dr. Jen.”
Shannon and Her Girls Go To Nashville To See Her Mama
I love seeing all the girls and their grandma going out on the town in Nashville. I really need to go to Nashville. I’ve only been there once and it was with my parents when I was like in high school or something and I feel like it was a drive by and things were closed. I’m not even sure why we were there. It looks lovely. Sophie announces that she thinks she wants to marry her boyfriend Reese. Shannon continues to blame herself for everything. It was still a sweet little lunch.
Noella is summoned to the crypt and to answer to Heather about calling her a fake bitch. She is a fakeass phony bitch. The best thing about Noella is she is not in the least bit interested in stroking Heather’s GIGANTIC EGO. That job will go to Gina and maybe Jen. Is this bitch going to be in EVERY FUCKING SCENE? Make it stop.
I love Gina’s “little abode” it is perfect for her and her family. Why are Emily and Shane arguing? Why is Emily so mean to Shane? I like Shane, and he puts up with a lot from her. Oh it’s another bullshit publicity part for Heather and her kids stupid book. Je refuse! This is going to be a very short recap. That said, Nicole is alive and well! I thought maybe Heather had drowned her.
Emily Gets Naked Wasted
Look, if I had to go to yet another Heather Dubrow event, I’d get naked wasted too. The weirdass aura reader is back doing “aura readings.” I love that Emily thinks her vagina is on fire. Apparently Jen’s husband now wants to go by Ryne instead of Ryan. This randomly freaks out Heather and a few others. Who cares. Emily is drinking A LOT. I love that Emily apparently hates Jen as much as I do. On the other hand I am not used to Emily getting naked wasted on camera. It’s not really a good look, but I am fine with it in this case.
Was I the only one who thought this was yet another promotional episode for the fucking Dubrows? I am going to watch WWHL tomorrow. I really just want to go watch TAR. As someone who has recently gotten drunk and said some really stupid things to people I really like, I am cringing over Emily’s drunkeness. On the other hand, I LOVE that Emily calls Jen out on her boyfriend paying for her med school. It’s been all over the Internet and Jen continues to um… contradict the known narrative. Now Heather doesn’t want Noella on the cast Cabo trip. Emily agrees to give Shane butt sex when they get home. She is certainly lubricated enough. lol. And no Heather, you can’t cancel a housewife from the cast trip.