I’ve been up since 3a.m. because I fell asleep around this time (6 p.m.) last night and slept for 9 hours.). I kept meaning to take a nap this morning but never got around to it. So, once again I am concerned I might sleep through this Vanderpump Rules Recap. I really, really want to lie down for a bit. This “sinus infection” and lethargy is kicking my ass. I’m going to do my best to push through. I tried Vitamin B to keep me awake and puked that right up. Then I made coffee so I should be good to go now.
Why oh Why do we have to witness the breast pumping with all the pregnant Bravo moms. Surely, they can do that off camera. I get actually breast feeding a kid while filming, like Ashley from RHOP does, because the kid is hungry. But, enough with the pumping on camera. Anyway we start with Lala pumping while chatting with Katie. Apparently, Lala is irritated that Ariana didn’t even acknowledge her at the event the night before. That’s because Ariana is the only sane person on this show. Lala thinks it is a “brilliant” idea for Katie and Ariana to open a sandwich shop together. I disagree. Who will make the sandwiches? Are they going to buy a Subway franchise or something? What makes them sandwich experts?
I keep forgetting that Lala and Randall are still together at this point in filming. Katie and Ariana are going to ask Randall to invest in their shop. I wonder how that will all turn out once Lala and Randall break up. Schwartz apparently wants to be a DJ like James. He doesn’t have any skills at all. This whole scene is ridiculous. Brock has put his surprise marriage to Scheana on hold. Scheana is not the surprise quickie wedding type. Brock and Sandoval go to workout and Sandoval posts a photo with “Friends don’t leave you hanging #NewBesties ” So Schwartz and James post a photo together pretending to be DJing with the caption, “The next real duo.” The emotional immaturity of these people never ceases to amaze me.
Lala goes to visit Scheana who immediately passes the baby off to her mother. Apparently, Scheana knew all about the surprise wedding and is still expecting it to happen, like this weekend? As Lala says Scheana seemed to know a lot more about the “surprise wedding” than Brock. Also, they also got a prenup done. So not a surprise at all. Lala talks about her prenup with Randall saying, “What’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine, go away.” They never even got married so it’s all moot at this point.
The Toms meet with their partner, Greg, and a contractor to try to make some progress on the restaurant. Sandoval seems to have no idea how much things cost. Or how long all the work is going to take. Despite the lack of progress, these two fools decide the best use of their time would be to throw a “progress party.”
Across town, Raquel and James are equally clueless about how to plan an engagement party. Brock has a new idea for the surprise wedding. He’ll propose to Scheana in private, since he already bought the ring. Then, IN THE MIDDLE OF Raquel and James’ engagement party, Brock, Scheana, Ariana and Sandoval will sneak off and have a quickie wedding. Sandoval will officiate, and Ariana will be the witness. Ariana has to point out that this is a dick move. #RecipeForDisaster
Ariana and Katie go LVP for advice on their sandwich shop. They want the theme to be “Unapologetically Feminine.” They want to name the shop, “Something About Her.” #HeavySigh Is it me? Am I just in bitch mode because I’m sick? This just seems utterly ridiculous. They are all so clueless!
Brock, who can’t afford child support for his kids, is looking at rings from 8-12 carats? How does that work. Oh it’s pink morganite. It’s $25K, allegedly. That’s a whole lot of beenie weenies for the Aussie kids. Brock has to spread it out over three credit cards. This is giving me palpitations. What is wrong with people?
The UnProgress Party
The Toms get to the location of their bar to set up for the party. Schwartz, begs Sandoval to end their “break.” Sandoval agrees and Schwartz gives him a friendship bracelet. Everyone including LVP and Ken arrive at the worksite. It’s a complete mess. And a safety hazard. Sandoval wants to lower the ceilings, because clueless, and put in an arch. However, he has no idea how much any of that costs. Are we being punked? This can’t be real. LVP and Ken think it would take mid six figures to get this bar in order. How many more mortgages can these fools take out on their homes? Where will Katie and Ariana get the money for their whackadoodle plan? Make it make sense!
LVP talks to Scheana and Brock about their wedding plans and prenup. Then she tries to get Schwartz to explain why they haven’t done a damn thing to their venue yet. Brock doesn’t understand why Raquel and James are having yet another engagement party. Brock and James get in a screaming match about his plans to quit smoking weed. Even the DVR is over this episode. The sound keeps going in and out during this argument. I don’t understand why James hates Brock so much. James makes poor Raquel leave with him as he storms off.
Next week is Raquel and James second engagement party, and Scheana’s secret wedding to Brock. Yay!