Oh Joy! Another Porsha’s Family Matters recap. Is this when we finally uncover the reason that the Bravo Suits are so impressed with this show? Because I am not seeing it. And, I’m not exactly an optimist these days. Last week’s show had 631,000 actual live viewers. This doesn’t include DVR. It’s probably enough to get another season. UGH. The Bravo Suits clearly have no plans for fresh new shows.
We begin back at the screaming match over the robe. Really? This is ridiculous five seconds in. Lauren is the top person screaming. The whacka doodle “spiritual advisor” tries to stop the chaos by making only one person speak at a time. And has a cigar? I dunno, something to pass around. The nonsense is about the fucking robe again. But, Porsha’s aunt Darlene goes first. She starts talking about her intention for this trip is to accept that her feet are beautiful. Yes, you read this right. Dennis immediately checks out her feet. He says they are fine. This foot thing goes on forever.
This Family Is Broken
The next woman who speaks says that Dom and Lauren, Porsha’s assistants are not her family and she doesn’t know why they are there. When I was in college, I lived in an apartment complex that was mostly students. We were all kind of friends on our wing. It was an eclectic group. The guy in the apartment next to me was a frat boy who did acid all day while watching preachers. It was something about the hand movements. He invited me to go to the Red Neck Riviera once for Spring Break. So I went. There I tried like a quarter of a hit of acid and we watched TV. I could not believe it was really TV. It all seemed so weird. That is how I feel right now. People storm off left and right.
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Next, Dennis decides he needs his own room. So, Lauren the assistant is kicked out of her room. Dennis is flying in a side piece to be with him on the trip. Because, of course. Simon wants to have a conversation with Dennis. He wants to have a good co-parenting relationship. We are talking about the robe again. Why can’t Simon buy Porsha a fucking Versace robe? Simon is not a fan of Mama Gina.
Oh I Know, Let’s Go Swim In A Bottomless Hole!
The next morning Simon and Dennis go to breakfast. Simon and Dennis agree that Mama Gina needs to stay out of it. They seem to really like each other. Then Dennis asks him for ….wait for it… THE FUCKING ROBE. Then, Dennis tells Simon that he has a date flying down. He wants him to break the news to Porsha. Good Lord, please let me move on to RHOSLC soon. This is a ridiculous show with way to many people on it. Erica, Dennis’s date arrives. Has anyone ever been to Puerto Morales? I’ve never even heard of it.
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Jesus take the wheel. It’s another talking stick moment. I do not need to watch people cry over nonsense. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever watched. And, I watched a lot of dumb shows. I do like Porsha’s Aunt, Lizzie I think. But all of this crying is not helpful today. The problem with this show is no one knows who anyone is. Or their back stories. It’s just a complete shit show. Eventually, they all jump into the cenote. On to dinner. Dennis did not show up because his side piece arrived. Porsha gets the news. She’s pissed at Mama Gina? Why? Lena is leaving as spiritual advisor, but another one is coming in. Oh Joy. More drama where I don’t know who these people are.
Finally, it is over.
Watching this show leaves me with a hangover. Who the hell are all these people? One is crying over her feet, another is wailing over a hug. The only one who made sense is the one who said she didn’t know who half the people at the table were. The most overcast show in history. Edit the cast.
Porsha gives the word “Thirsty” for fame and relevancy a whole new meaning,,,still a major Home 🏡 Wrecker!! 🤦🤦🤦
you are a better man than I am. I peaced out after the first episode.
A hot mess….A train reck….Embarrassing….Fake….Poor Scripting….Shame on Bravo / Truly, and everyone whom played role in allowing this mess to air!!!!
You are truly a shero for watching this. I bailed out after they started passing the cigar? (I though it was some kind of magic wand or something she brought.) This is thoroughly stupid. Does Andy actually watch this shit? Noe, he does not.
It is like watching a car crash in slow motion. I don’t want to watch, but I’m kinda fascinated that anyone at Bravo thought this was good TV, and that Porsha thought this was a good career move.
Most every family member comes across as having some level of a personality disorder with the possible exception of Lauren and Londie. And next week’s episode looks like a Jerry Springer episode.
Such an accurate description. Lauren is the only one of the cast of 100 family members that seems to be quasi normal. Do love a slow moving train wreck so if that how bravo is selling it, I will buy it for now.
Not Dennis the Menace
So far, the only two people I like on the show are Dennis and Simon. I can’t keep track of any of the women — including being able to tell the difference between Lauren the sister and Lauren the assistant. And I don’t care enough to really bother. The funniest part for me last night was Simon telling Dennis he has professional movers on call so he can empty a place out very fast. If Bravo gives this show another season based on viewership, I’m out.
Porsha trying to make Dennis jealous by allowing him to accompany them on trips, plus she still loves Dennis, she won’t let him bring his plus one!! Why not?? Cause she will get jelly. The next episode proves my point. They get into a big brawl due to Dennis bringing his date. If you over Dennis Porsha, why should u care if he brings someone???🤔🤔
Dennis should get a parenting plan and say bye bye to Porsha. It’s over. Move on for good.
And you know, start paying child support…
It’s just bad…just bad…I hope that Porsha wasn’t banking on this replacing her RHOA check cause it’s awful…and I’ve tried to give it a chance.
Why do yall watch it? Who is twisting your arm? It is the usual reality TV stuff. I am glad that they are getting paid and hope they do get another season.
Good question. You know people just want to complain.
I do not know why some people watch it. But I know for me I am interested in the drama / mess of Porsha/Simon/Dennis. I am really watching just to see if they will drop any nuggets on their train wreck sham.
It’s so bad but just out of commitment to the real housewives of Atlanta. I am sort of interested.
This show is awful and you are a saint for watching and recapping. I can’t believe Bravo thinks this is good TV or that Porsha didn’t return to RHOA because of it. It is super bad!
That pic of them kissing is gag worthy. Dennis looks like one of those scavenger fish you put in your aquarium to clean the algae off the rocks.
I rather watch Nene and Phaedra come back to RHWA, than this trifling show. And I can’t stand Nene and Phaedra! Porsha is simply a trifling backstabbing husband stealer.