Here we are at the end of the first season of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. It’s been a short yet memorable season, full of drama, suspense, nonsense, comic relief, grief over old relationships dying out, and new relationships blooming. Who knew a Housewives show could still be this enjoyable? This may be the final episode, but the Housewives’ storylines still have plenty of loose ends. Let’s see how they tie up those loose ends and wrap up the season.
Kyle’s Walk Of Shame
We start off with Kyle returning from a special “nightcap” with Mauricio. Kyle did her faux walk of shame in front of Ramona and Melissa. She immediately complained that Mauricio had nothing but a bar of soap in his hotel room for her to use on her face. Kyle quipped, “I am a floozie in the Turks and Caicos.” But come on – she just had a romantic night with her husband! Meanwhile in the house, Cynthia consulted with the kitchen staff on the menu for the last luncheon on the beach. Cynthia continued to bemoan her sidelined status on this trip. Yet she insisted she could get “back on track” at this luncheon.
Immediately, Kenya complained and demanded a burger. But in her confessional, Kenya insisted, “I just want this tension to end.” Kenya promised that her attitude towards Cynthia was never a personal attack, and I can personally buy that Kenya was focused on getting her paycheck(s). But clearly, Cynthia saw it differently: She saw her friendship with Kenya unravel in real time. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see whether her planned “Bailey Bowl Olympics” can help Cynthia salvage her relationship with Kenya and the other wives. At least, the prizes seemed to appeal to the other wives.
The Bailey Bowl Olympics
Oh, great! We get to watch them “lick balls” and find the diamond ring hidden in the popsicle ball. Kenya, Melissa, and Teresa won that round, even after Luann filed her objection. Next, it’s a twerk off. Teresa and Luann won that round, despite Kenya’s fast moves, Cynthia’s voluptuous “assets,” and whatever the hell Ramona was doing. From there, they rushed into a buried treasure challenge finding the hidden teacups and spilling the tea. Luann, Kenya, Melissa, and Teresa won that round. Then, they played tug of war. Kenya and Melissa won the initial round, and (of course!) Kenya won.
Kenya ultimately won the Bailey Bowl Olympics. But in a fascinating twist, Kenya used her acceptance speech to graciously donate her grand prize, a three-night vacation in Turks and Caicos, to Teresa and Luis. In her confessional, Kenya said, “To see Teresa so happy, after everything she’s been through. She lost everything, then she rebuilt it and found this loving man. Here’s a gift to you, from my heart.” Kenya also said she was hoping to “find the same thing”. Be careful what you wish for, Kenya! Back on the beach, Kenya and Teresa hugged it out, and all the Housewives were finally at peace. Maybe Cynthia knew what she was doing, after all.
A Turning Point For Ramona?
At the lunch table, Teresa gushed over Kenya’s generosity, then contrasted her new friendship with Kenya to her many battles with many of her fellow RHONJ castmates. Then, turning to Kyle and Ramona, Teresa exclaimed, “You know, when you go to college, and you meet friends for life? I want to keep you as friends for life! I really bonded with all you guys.” Somewhere in New Jersey, I can hear Jacqueline Laurita, the RHONJ Season Six castaways, and Siggy Flicker screaming at their TV screens.
On a far more serious note, the beachside conversation took a very dark turn when Ramona spoke about her family’s history of abuse. Ramona explained how her mother’s experience as a domestic violence survivor influenced her own life choices. She contrasted her drive to escape that environment with her siblings.ongoing struggles back home. Kyle sought to connect the dots and attribute Ramona’s atrocious behavior on the trip to the coping mechanisms she learned as a child. Teresa implored Ramona to clean things up with Kenya. Ramona said she’d try to make it nice. (Author’s Note: This is a very sensitive topic for Tamara and some of our readers, so please be respectful of Tamara’s request not to post any triggering content in the comments.)
The End Of The Road For Cynthia
Back at the villa, Luann wanted one more day of flirting with Michael the concierge. In the confessional room, Cynthia opened up about her struggles with Kenya. “That hurts. I can’t have who I love.” It’s been so heartbreaking to watch their friendship fall apart like this, and all over this ridiculous reality TV franchise. Cynthia then used Kenya’s budding relationship with Melissa as an example of how Kenya played her. She said, “It hurts. But hey, now I know.”
Ten minutes later, Cynthia walked up to Kenya’s room to confront her over this. Kenya wasn’t interested. As she walked away, Cynthia lamented, “When I walked out of the room, there was a part of my heart that closed up.” But, in her own confessional, Kenya countered, “She didn’t see all the times I had her back when talking to Kyle, Luann, and everyone else. No, Cynthia’s a good girl!” Kenya continued, “Don’t make me look like I did something wrong to you. I did not do something wrong to you.” Again, my own assessment is that Kenya came to fulfill the assignment and snatch that paycheck. But, Cynthia wanted a real experience. Whatever one thinks of how Kenya plays the game, it’s just depressing to watch the Comcast-NBC suits dispose of Cynthia like this.
Money Can’t Buy You Class
Later that evening, Teresa Facetimed Luis to tell him Kenya won a Turks and Caicos trip and gave it to them. As RHOC’s Shannon Storms Beador would say, “It’s a gesture!” But at least on RHUGT, there was no wasted sushi and there was no talk of lawsuits over botched boobs. In the confessional room, Teresa gushed over how she missed Luis so much. Meanwhile in Luann’s room, she was playing her own auto-tuned songs and promising to “surprise the girls” with her money guns and Jovani gowns. Then, they all finally headed off to Grace Bay for one last beachside dinner.
Kyle kicked off the final toast of the trip and thanked everyone for “such an amazing trip”. Luann and Ramona seemed to make amends. Ramona said she’s now closer to Luann than to Sonja. Ramona then pulled Kenya aside for the apology we’ve all been waiting for. Back at the main table, Kyle and Teresa filled the other ladies in on their own conversation with Ramona. Then on the couches, Kenya and Ramona finally seemed to bond over their similar broken family backgrounds. Kenya promised, “I won’t hold a grudge against you.” Kenya graciously gave Ramona the redemption arc that Ramona denied herself when she went nuclear on Eboni.
We’re Going Out Feelin’ Jovani.
Speaking of storylines and redemption arcs, Teresa continued to express relief over her past scandals. The Rumor-gate drama with Jackie Goldschneider is finally fading into the background. She got a decent edit on this show. Cynthia called out Kenya for doing an on-camera resolution with Ramona after refusing to make amends with Cynthia. And finally, we got the big reveal. Luann popped out in another Jovani gown. She shot out money to the ladies while performing her signature (auto-tuned) song. Melissa says, “This is what I call a happy ending.” The producers actually shot off fireworks as they all celebrated a successful first season.
Of course, the other Housewives gushed over how awesome this was and how they all bonded so much together. But in her final confessional, Cynthia kept it 100: “Do you guys feel the blood coming down my back? I’m just too old and too tired to be around people who do not respect the boundaries of what a friendship is supposed to be. Bailey out!” Regardless, this first RHUGT season is the one of the best Real Housewives shows I’ve seen in some time. This has been one wild ride, I’m glad we all got to ride this together, and I can hardly wait for the second season of “Bezerkshires” madness with Housewives of seasons past. On this note, let’s just sit back and enjoy the fireworks show.