Who’s ready for another RHOC Recap? By the time I write this I will have had an hour or so of Survivor 41. So, I should be a bit closer to my happy place. But, as I start doing setups for tonight’s recap, I’m already feeling some kind of way about Heather Dubrow. I liked her some seasons (mostly because she came for Kelly Dodd) but no so much this season. There is a huge homeless crisis in Southern California, and she wants to brag about her multimillion dollar house? I have no problem with her building her dream home. Or the opulence. But, a bit of humility would be nice. When guests come to your home, you don’t need to give them a tour right down to you towel warmer. It’s tacky. Heather Dubrow is the poster child for white privilege. Has she ever mentioned a charity she supports?
Back To More Fancy Pants Putting On Airs
Sorry for the delay, Survivor was really good tonight so my recap took me a minute. But, please, let’s get on to rich people arguing about rich people shit while homeless camps are everywhere at this point. Because, yay! Fun, right? 🙁 We start at Heather’s ridiculous party. Apparently, Jen and Noella hate each other. Frankly, most of them hate each other. I am already bored. I don’t understand this ridiculous storyline where Nicole sued Terry and now she is Heather’s “friend.” Really? It makes no sense. And, Heather has a fancy house with a random gong? Also not interesting.
Nicole’s boobs do not interest me. I’m sorry that I am annoyed but I’m just annoyed. Gina tells Heather about Nicole suing Terry. Seriously? Heather is the worst “actress” in the world. I would rather watch Vanderpump Rules than this ridiculousness. Gina comes for Shannon. It’s chaos already. Noella is watching and I feel like she feels the same way. Shannon has a ton of fake hair. Nicole admits that she sued Terry. Heather wants to throw everyone out of the house, she is quitting and doesn’t want any more filming. YAY! If only that had happened. Shannon feels ambushed. And far be it from me to defend Shannon. But..
Nicole tells Emily, who is a veteran of this show at this point to sit down? Oh Hell to the no. Emily is leaving ang trying to take Gina with her. Nicole is a straight up bitch and this is not a good look for her first season. She tells Jen that Emily needs to go on a fucking diet and shut her mouth. She’s horrible. Is she supposed to be the new Kelly Dodd? I love Noella’s fake pony tell. Noella finds Heather’s daughter Max who is also bisexual. Look, I’m mostly straight, but is this what happens when two bisexual people meet? “OMG! You are bisexual! YAY! I’m bisexual too!” In my experience, not so much. This is more of Bravo an their newfound “inclusiveness.” Gina convinces Emily to come back inside. Why? This is a shit show!
Bitches fight about nothing. Heather follows the script and goes to get Terry who confronts Nicole about suing him. Nicole plays the victim. Terry says that she dropped the lawsuit. She was in her twenties. He did not wrong. Except you know allegedly fucking up her tits. Heather is pissed at Shannon and Gina and blesses them both out. Heather calls off her party. Then complains about the thousands of dollars of sushi that are going to waste. She mentions that she didn’t serve eggplant because Shannon is allergic. I hate sushi. But, does eggplant even have to do with sushi? I dunno. Later Heather whines to Terry that the party cost $36K. Girl please. No one believes you. And if it was true, you are scum.
The only redeeming thing about this show is Archie. Recently he went MIA but I am happy to report he got home safely. #ThingsYouLearnOn Twittter. FOLLOW ME! When a dog is the only good part of a show the franchise is in danger. Heather and Terry (attention whore) talk about Shannon and how much she is trying to take them down. Jen and her weird, usually half nekkid husband go out to eat and he feels the need to bring his dog. I have separation anxiety when I have to leave Banjo, so I get it. But, I’m a mental case and need my emotional support dog and I just stay in. The husband seems strangely attracted to the dog. He’s weird. That’s really all I have to say.
Emily and Shane go to dinner. I actually really like Shane. #UnpopularOpinion #LawyerFetish They talk about religion. Emily wants her kids to share in Shane’s religion. Next, Gina and Emily go out. I love these two together but am sad that Gina is going to end up besties with Heather. Oh Lord, now Heather is there. They both suck up to Heather. 🙁 Gina tells Heather that her ex took her to a BBQ where everyone knew that her husband was sleeping with the hostess. She was the only one who did not know. So now they are besties. Heather thinks Shannon is jealous of her. Heather tells them that Shannon told her not to trust Heather and Gina.
So um, how is this going for you guys? I’d rather recap fucking Vanderpump Rules at this point. Can we ever just get over Bravo and watch something else?