It is time for another Vanderpump Rules recap. But is anyone actually still watching this show? It gets slightly more views than Winter House and less than half as much as Below Deck. So… I guess on that note we’ll get started.
We begin to with the guys attempting to drive some golf balls. Emphasis on attempting. Scheana, Katie, and Lala go to a Pilates class. It only goes marginally better than the guys’ golfing. Lala and Katie both trash Sandoval. Back at the driving range, Sandoval is over Lala, and so is Brock. Why are men so strange. And I use the term ‘men’ very loosely in this instance. After, Sandoval loses a bet to James, James gets the pleasure (?) of sticking a golf tee in Sandoval’s ass and hitting another golf ball. What is wrong with all of these morons and why am I watching this!???
Once Upon A Tom
Later, Katie and Schwartz and Sandoval get together tryout new cocktails for the new bar. Katie doesn’t want to have any cocktails. There is already lots of chatter on social media that Katie is pregnant. But, people say that about everyone on theses shows who weighs over 97 pounds. James and one of the server’s from SUR came over. Sandoval is very into novelty cocktails with weird flavor combinations. The conversation turns to the bar name. Sandoval is adamant that it is Schwartz and Sandy. Katie says that is a terrible name. As Lea Black said on Twitter today, “Even a blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while.” Katie likes Once Upon A Tom. That’s much better. Screaming ensues. Katie storms off to bed.
The next morning Schwartz made Katie breakfast in bed. Schwartz doesn’t want Katie at the bar anymore. It’s too much drama. Katie is pissed. Meanwhile, James talks with an old family friend about his sobriety, he says he needs to get off the pot. Brock just drank a beer out of the shoe he was wearing. These guys are so gross. There is yet another cocktail tasting at Sandovals. Lala, Katie, and James decline the invitation. I haven’t seen hair nor hide of Raquel this entire episode. At the cocktail party, Scheana totally throws Lala and Katie under the bus for bitching about Sandoval at Pilates. But, the guys don’t bring up how they were trashing Lala. Oh! There is Raquel. Just drinking in the background in a big black hat. Schwartz is pissed at Scheana and Sandoval. Sandoval trashes Katie. Schwartz almost, kinda sticks up for her.
Oh Yay! It’s The Obligatory LVP Scene!
I was really hoping that the opening montage with her dog humping her might have been the extent of her appearance. She and her partner in crime, Ken, go to SUR. Charli and Raquel are the only ones still working at SUR. James shows up with flowers for Raquel, just because. Then, she tells him Lisa and Ken are inside, so he goes in to shoot some sort of preplanned scene. Basically, he tells them he is quitting pot. Instead of them being supportive, they kind of try to talk him out of it and tell him just to cut back.
Next there is yet another party with weird costumes. And once again I don’t know who half the people are. I think it is Brock’s birthday? Yes, it is. He has invited a lot of his friends. Meanwhile, Lala and Katie confront Scheana for throwing them under the bus with Sandoval. After, the two bitches feel like they have shamed her enough, they drop it. Since when are Lala and Katie BFFs? Lala tries to force Schwartz to make sure that Katie is included in the bar.
Next time, the moronic guys take ice baths. And the ditzy girls model their feet on the Internet to make money for Raquel’s nose job. Schwartz loses a bet and has to get something tattooed on his ass.