Happy Thanksgiving, and welcome to an extra special RHUGT Recap for the holiday weekend! Who’s ready for another boat ride? And who’s ready for another shady game? Since Kenya takes over hosting duties for this week’s yacht trip, we know some good shit is about to go down! And since Teresa is doing dinner, we know tables are about to flip as all the sparks fly. With all that said, let’s just dive right into the mess like Luann dives into the open water.
Peacock Just Gave Us A Thanksgiving Day RHUGT Episode!
In case anyone here doubts our determination to keep you on top of all the RHUGT drama, I’m writing this from my father’s house on Thanksgiving morning. I love my family… including my online family, right here at Tamara Tattles. Speaking of family bonding time, we kick off with Kyle and Ramona bonding in the confessional room. Finally, Cynthia isn’t the only one using that confessional room! Meanwhile downstairs, Michael – the house concierge who has to work overtime as Luann’s office faux-mance – helped the other staff clean up after Melissa’s game night gone extra wild. Michael also expressed some relief that they would have extra time to clean the house and prepare for dinner with Kenya taking the rest of the Housewives out for a “Gone with the Wind Fabulous” themed yacht outing for the day.
In her confessional, Kenya gushed, “It’s going to be a rich bitch yacht day!” And on the boat, Kenya told them all to “turn all the way up!” For a hot second, it seemed like Kenya and Ramona could finally bury some hatchets, as Ramona gushed over the large and lavish yacht. Ramona even led the first round of toasts: “Cheers to Kenya for bringing us here!” But then, all of sudden, some paparazzi showed up, leading Kyle to freak out. Kenya, on the other hand, was unbothered: “Honey, I have already posted my photos, OK? Check my Instagram. “ @thekenyamoore.”
Really Serious For A Yacht Party
From there, the Housewives ran into rougher waters once the rain started to fall. This time, Kyle tried her best to keep her spirits high as she raised her margarita glass: “God is my bartender.” The rest of the wives, however, rushed to grab lunch downstairs. Once they refilled their cocktail glasses and grabbed some grub, they returned to a better mood… Until Ramona tried to rewrite history (again). Luann quickly corrected Ramona on her history of being rude to staff. Ramona then turned to Melissa to get goofy with her, which then triggered Kenya, which then got Cynthia to unload on all of them (again).
That got Melissa to blurt out, “This is meant to be fun, not serious. This is really serious for a yacht party.” But then again, Melissa should have known better. Then, Melissa dropped some surprisingly sage wisdom: “I think it’s fair to say we all need self-awareness. We’re all motherfuckin’ attention whores!” Of course, that triggered Cynthia even more. A little later, Cynthia sought to reassure Kyle that, “We’re good,” but that just reminded Kyle of all the times Erika Jayne insisted, “We’re good,” when it was really anything but. Finally, a boat full of men showed up. And just like that, Ramona had a bunch of new bright shiny objects to play with. Ramona said the men wanted attention, but we know who really enjoyed the attention.
Game Time Turns South (Again)
For yacht game time, Kenya prepared an extra special edition of “Who Said That?”, the game where Housewives must own up to shady things they said about each other in past seasons. Immediately, Ramona fell in the hot seat over her meddling in Luann’s relationship with Tom D’Agostino by calling Tom’s other exes and sniffing for dirt on them. Luann may have had a hard time finding comfort and support from her RHONY castmates, but on this yacht Teresa and Kenya immediately backed up Luann and called out Ramona. Even Kyle tried to get Ramona to back off on Luann and the perpetual “It’s About Tom” shitshow.
As Kenya continued calling her out on Harry’s-Dick-and-Tom-gate, Ramona shouted back, “Fuck you!” Here we go again. Kenya immediately read her for absolute filth, and topped it off with, “You think you are a queen, but you will never be a queen. You act like a peasant!” Ramona cried in Kyle’s arms as she refused to take accountability, even as Kenya forcibly removed her drink. At that point Cynthia and Melissa tried to get Kenya to ease up on Ramona, but Kenya said she couldn’t take any more of Ramona’s narcissistic jabs because she reminded Kenya of Marc.
Another Ramona Apology Goes Off The Rails
Even as some of the Housewives tried to talk Kenya off the ledge, nearly all of them appeared to be fed up with Ramona’s antics. Kyle even lamented, “Dealing with Ramona is like dealing with a child,” as she begged Ramona to apologize to Luann and Kenya to clean up the mess she started. And even though Kyle didn’t want to read the Los Angeles Times’ articles on RHOBH castmate Erika Jayne last season, she nonetheless got stuck coaching Ramona on how to speak English and properly pronounce her words.
While Kyle attempted to get Ramona to behave better, the rest of the girls were comforting Luann. Teresa fumed over how Ramona got away with this shit for so long on RHONY. Then Kenya walked away just when Ramona came down to apologize to Luann. Of course Luann accepted Ramona’s latest apology and (backhanded?) compliment about Ramona’s sexuality. Until Ramona (again) excused her meddling in Luann’s relationship with Tom by exclaiming, “I knew he’d be a trainwreck for you.” Luann walked away, then jumped into the sea. I can’t blame her for that.
Mangia, Mangia… Or Just More Drama?
As they all sought to regroup, Kenya tried to reboot her yacht day: “The ultimate rule of a Housewife is: You can’t let these bitches get you down.” She then sentenced Ramona to “solitary confinement” with the camera crew on a dinghy, but Ramona eventually rejoined the group for Melissa’s little TikTok project. All that, and Ramona still couldn’t do even the simplest of a TikTok dance. On the way back to the villa, the girls dished on Ramona’s drinking. They tried to devise a game plan to prevent Ramona from fucking up Teresa’s homestyle Italian dinner. Teresa figured it out while preparing dinner. She gave Ramona a sneak preview of the chicken parmigiana, then let Michael the concierge guide her upstairs. From there, Ramona just took care of herself by going on a wild goose chase for her smartphone.
Finally, they all made it downstairs for dinner. Teresa tried to “make it nice,” but she still managed to fit in a few digs at Ramona. This opened the door for Cynthia to unload on Ramona for using the house “glam squad.” Apparently, she did not pay her full bill when they were supposed to be working on Cynthia’s hair and makeup. Here we go, yet again. Cynthia wondered aloud whether Ramona has “low-key dementia.” Ramona continued to attempt to rewrite history regarding when the “glam squad” were supposed to work on which Housewife. Kenya actually backed up Cynthia on this, but Kyle couldn’t take any more of it, and Melissa just wanted to eat.
Kenya Reads Ramona To Absolute Filth!
From there, the drama just turned contagious. Luann suddenly flipped on Teresa for insinuating she’s a “pushover” for Ramona. Kenya twirled away from the dinner table out of sorrow and frustration. Kyle ran in to retrieve Kenya. But then Ramona bolted from the dinner table. As Ramona ran in the house, she blurted out a wildly epic word salad full of credit score, yellow dresses, credit card bills, and animalistic squealing. Good luck even trying to figure out what the fuck is in Ramona’s head. Kenya returned to the dinner table and apologized to everyone for the bumpy yacht ride earlier in the day. Then, she really went in on Ramona, “I think she is really delusional, and possibly insane.”
Then, Kenya gave perhaps the most epic read of this season of RHUGT, “A really freakin’ frail old lady, coming to me and saying crazy stuff?” Followed by, “ It’s like – Girl, do you need a nap? Do you need some Geritol? Do you need your dementia medications? Get your Depends and everything else, and get yourself together.” Kyle busted out laughing. Luann tried to hide her own giggles. Melissa made Kenya go on the record and admit she wanted to read the hell out of Ramona. Finally, we finished this episode with Ramona whining to the staff. Ramona complaining about the other Housewives. While all the time reclaiming her alleged victimhood. Then she demanded more red wine as the inflated flamingo flipped over in the pool. On that note we wrap up Episode #5, so I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving Weekend. Until next week!